


Face to Face

by friendoftheearth



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:43:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 67,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6405565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendoftheearth/pseuds/friendoftheearth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU.<br/>A meandering story set about Aaron and Jackson's relationship and the people in their lives.<br/>Written in 2010</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Face to Face

Part One

Having made short work of a plateful of bacon and eggs, Paddy set down his knife and fork with a satisfied sigh. Then, as he reached for his mug of tea, he heard a gentle knock on the front door.

Glancing over at the kitchen clock he found it was still a few minutes before eight o'clock, and was a little surprised that someone should be calling so early on a Sunday morning,

Grumbling to himself at the intrusion he got to his feet and moved grudgingly towards the door. On opening it he found no one was there and was momentarily puzzled, but then a knowing smile crept across his face. 'Aaron' he thought, the young man was fond of winding him up. It wouldn't be the first time the teenager had lured him away from his Sunday morning fry up, and then cheekily helped himself to it! Well he was out of luck this particular Sunday morning, he'd already devoured it.

As he was about to shut the door a disembodied voice called a cheery greeting. There was something familiar about the voice, but unable to put a name or face to its owner, Paddy stepped into the morning sunshine and gazed inquisitively in the direction the 'Good morning' had come from. He was taken aback to see Jackson Walsh standing by his work van.

"Good morning." The vet finally replied unable to keep the surprise he felt off his face or out of his voice. "Was that you?" he then gestured to the door with his thumb, "I mean did you knock?

"Yeah, sorry I know it's early I just...well I was passing and...well come to think of it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all so I'll..."

Alarmed by the fact the younger man was now making to leave Paddy quickly interrupted, "No. It's ok, come on in." He then hurried back inside hoping Jackson would follow him.

As he switched the kettle on and busied himself with finding a clean cup Paddy heard the front door close and smiled to himself. He liked Jackson and knew Aaron did too. If he could just get the two of them talking he was sure they'd put what had happened behind them, and then hopefully take things a step nearer to forming a relationship.

"Tea? Coffee?" Paddy glanced over his shoulder and noted how uncomfortable the young man still looked.

"No thanks, I can't stay. I promised my client I'd make an early start and I don't want to be late."

It sounded very much like an excuse to Paddy so he asked, "What time you starting?"

Caught off guard Jackson stumbled over his reply, "Uh...nine."

"Well you've got time for a cup of something hot then, so sit!" Paddy hadn't meant to sound so bossy, but it seemed his severe tone had worked because his reluctant guest was now pulling out a chair and making himself comfortable upon it. Seemingly resolved to his plight Jackson then gestured to the jar of coffee Paddy was holding up, and with a small smile said "Milk, two sugars please."

After vigorously stirring the now boiled water into the cup's contents Paddy stepped over to the table. There he set the coffee down in front of Jackson then sat himself opposite him saying, "Aaron's not here, he's walking Clyde but he..."

Eager to explain his presence Jackson cut in with, "Yeah I know, I saw him, it was you I wanted to speak to."

"Oh!" Unable to hide his disappointment Paddy continued, "I was hoping you were here for Aaron."

"No. To be honest, I'm testing the water. I don't want to get burned."

Paddy nodded, "I can understand that. You've got good reason to be wary I know."

"How's he doing?"

"You know what he did, what he tried to do?"

"Adam told me. I still can't get my head around it."

"No, none of us can." Shivering involuntary Paddy continued, "He almost died, and still wanted to die when he came round in the hospital. Me and Chas were out of our minds with worry."

Nodding sympathetically Jackson then asked, "That's his mum?"

"Yeah."

"And his dad?"

"He washed his hands of Aaron a few years back."

"Because he's gay?"

"No, he had no idea." His face darkening with disgust Paddy added, "He threw Aaron out after deciding his troubled son wasn't worth the effort needed to reach him."

Staring thoughtfully at the older man Jackson stated with genuine warmth, "You didn't!"

"No." Paddy acknowledged matter-of-factly, he just couldn't understand how anyone could turn they're back on their own flesh and blood, especially someone so in need of love.

"He told you he was gay."

"Not willingly. I forced it out of him, that's why he..." Paddy's voice trailed off as he realised he was about to betray Aaron by detailing what had gone on.

"Why he turned on you?" Jackson pushed sensing the older man's reluctance to explain further.

Paddy knew he had no choice but to continue now, "Yes. I had him backed into a corner with no escape. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him that hard or that fast but it did the trick and it all came pouring out. First the anger, then the truth. He finally acknowledged how he felt inside, and just how much it terrified him."

Shrugging to show his own sense of helplessness Jackson said, "I knew he was struggling with being gay, I just didn't realise how hard it was for him or just how scared he was."

"He was desperate to keep it secret. He actual believed it was something he could control. I knew it wasn't something he could keep buried and I tried to get him to see that. I tried to help him, to make him see that it was ok, that he had nothing to fear, that his family and friends would accept his sexuality because all they wanted was for him to be happy, but he wouldn't listen..." Paddy stopped abruptly having again realised he was divulging too much to someone he barely knew. But as he looked into the steady receptive gaze of the younger man he knew it was alright to continue. Something inside told him that Jackson could be trusted with his thoughts. "Then you were suddenly back in the picture and I began to think he was starting to accept it. I couldn't have been more wrong because the next thing I know he's punching you and ends up charged with ABH!"

Jackson dropped his gaze briefly then met the older man's eyes warily, "Maybe I shouldn't have let it go that far. But he'd hit you and then me! I couldn't just let him get away with it. I came here to see him with Adam but he was as hot tempered as ever, I just thought he's not worth it, to hell with him...but then when the day of the hearing dawned I found I wanted to know what happened to him, that I cared what happened to him."

Paddy nodded his understanding, "I hated the thought of him going to court, I was terrified he'd go to prison. If he did I knew we'd lose him for good. But seeing us there, how worried we were for him and then seeing you, that forced him to speak out."

Bowing his head Jackson said softly "It was hard seeing him break down like that."

"Yes, but I've never been more proud of him."

Lifting his gaze to meet the older man's Jackson saw the pride shining there. Offering a smile of acknowledgment he asked softly, "So he's out, and everyone knows. How's he coping?"

"He's decided to meet the world head on, to just get on with things."

"He texted me but I was wary of getting involved, that's why I'm here."

"He won't be long, you can wait..."

"No. I don't have time now; really I have to get to work."

"But I can tell him you were here..."

"I don't know. I like him but if he's going to be high maintenance then I..."

"He doesn't have to be, not now. But whether he is or not does it really matter? He's worthy of a second chance isn't he?" Eyeing the younger man expectantly Paddy caught sight of a figure passing the window. Heaving a sigh he said, "You'd better make up your mind, he's back."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Face to Face

Part 2

Aaron stared intently at the van parked on the roadside; it was instantly recognisable as Jackson's. His stomach had flipped over on seeing it, the young mechanic wasn't sure if he should put such a reaction down to nervousness or something else.

The vehicle was empty, but Jackson had to be nearby, 'but where and why?' Aaron wondered.

Had he actually called round to see him? That didn't seem likely! Had he called at the shop for a paper? Maybe, but why park outside Paddy's if he had?

With Clyde growing restless, increasingly impatient to get inside to his water bowl, Aaron knew he couldn't dither outside the front door any longer. If he went in and Jackson was there then good, it would give him the opportunity to apologise, if he wasn't...well if he wasn't... then why the hell wasn't he?

Inhaling deeply in an effort to stop his heart thundering in his chest he pushed the door open and stepped into the hallway.

He couldn't quite bring himself to look directly into the next room but out of the corner of his eye could tell there were two figures sitting by the table, both seemingly looking in his direction. His stomach did another somersault and he unconsciously gripped Clyde's lead a little tighter as he stepped through the doorway and into the room.

He met Paddy's gaze first, it radiated warmth and reassurance and so he relaxed a little. Only then did he dare look the other man in the eye. The brown eyes stared steadily back at him giving nothing away.

Through his suddenly dry mouth Aaron forced out a quiet "Hi." As he struggled to find the right thing to say Clyde suddenly lurched excitedly towards the visitor.

With Jackson now stroking the attention seeking dog Aaron eyed Paddy questioningly. The older man mouthed an exasperated 'say something,' back at him, but now completely tongue tied the young man could only stare back helplessly.

To both their relief Jackson broke the strained silence. As he tickled the now prostrate Alsatians belly he looked up at Aaron and grinned, "You said his bite was worse than his bark! He's a pussycat!"

The younger man grinned back, "Yeah well, that's why I had to big him up."

Paddy breathed an audible sigh of relief then got to his feet. "He'll be in need of a drink and I've got some scraps for him. C'mon Clyde, breakfast!"

As the dog got to his feet so did Jackson, "I'd better make a move..."

"What!" Paddy exclaimed, as his gaze moved anxiously between the two younger men he quickly added, "I mean surely you have time for another coffee?"

As Jackson pulled up his shirt sleeve to look at his watch Paddy caught hold of Aaron's arm and hauled the now crestfallen teenager towards a chair, then with both hands clamped firmly but gently on his shoulders pressed him into it.

Ignoring the murderous glare his young friend was now giving him he eyed Jackson. "Two sugars was it?"

Taking another look at his watch as he deliberated over whether to stay or not Jackson finally said "Yeah, go on then."

Once the builder was safely seated at the table Paddy moved towards the kettle, but painfully aware of the heavy silence that had descended behind him he quickly swung back around and stepped purposefully towards the front door.

"We're out of sugar so I'm just going to nip out and get some. I'll be right back."

Aaron stared open mouthed after his friend, then looked over to the kitchen counter where an almost full bag of sugar conspicuously sat.

Jackson was staring at it too only he was once again grinning, "I bet he's not! Right back I mean,"

Aarons face softened into a small smile, "No."

"Well how about you make the coffee?" Gesturing towards the kettle Jackson added, "Talking is thirsty work!"

/

Paddy hovered by the front door, he'd left on impulse but now he wasn't sure it had been such a good move. Jackson didn't seem ready to talk to Aaron and Aaron seemed more than a little unnerved by his presence.

The urge to check on the two young men proved too much and he sidled up to the window cautiously peering in.

He was somewhat reassured by what he saw, Aaron was pouring milk into two cups, Jackson looking on. It looked a picture of domestic bliss but Paddy knew it was a far cry from that. Still it boded well for a much needed conversation between them.

A little reluctantly he turned away and strolled towards the shop; he decided he'd buy a paper and then sit outside to read it in the spring sunshine. He was certain he'd hear any raised voices coming from his place from the bench by the phone box!

He'd expected the shop to be empty; it usually was at that time on a Sunday and so was surprised to find Chastity Dingle standing by the counter flipping through a magazine. On seeing him she flashed him a bright smile.

"Paddy! Fancy a coffee?"

"The cafe's not open." Paddy stated as he walked over to join the brunette.

"I meant at your place!"

"My place?" Paddy knew that was a very bad idea right at that particular moment in time,

"Yeah," Chas tucked her arm in Paddy's and started to lead him towards the door. "You know, that stone cottage over there with my son in it! He is there isn't he?" She asked a little worried by the look on her ex's face.

"Yes he's there but..."

"But what?" Chas demanded.

"So is Jackson!" Paddy reluctantly explained.

"Jackson! The one he punched?"

"Yes."

"The Jackson who had him charged with ABH and almost had him sent to prison?"

"One and the same." Paddy nodded.

"Is that really such a good idea?" Chastity's voice soared in disbelief.

"Yes. I happen to think it is."

The condescending tone Chas thought she could hear in Paddy's voice irritated her still further and her voice rose higher still, "And why would 'you' happen to think that?"

Clasping his hand around the now irate woman's arm he pulled her over to the far side of the shop. Viv was hovering in the background and he didn't want her hearing any more of their conversation.

"Will you hush!" He ground out before softening his tone, "They happened to have liked each other before that punch was thrown, I know Aaron still has feelings for Jackson and I think Jackson, despite everything is still interested in him."

"You only think!" Chas hissed, "If he cared about Aaron in anyway then he would have had those charges dropped!"

"If Aaron hadn't been so damn obnoxious when he called to see him he probably would have!"

Chastity clamped her mouth shut as she absorbed Paddy's words then blew out a shaky breath. "Sorry Paddy, I just can't help worrying about him."

"Tell me about it!" Paddy shot back, it wasn't easy for him either, he cared just as much about her son as she did, 'perhaps' he thought a little guilty, 'even more than she did!' "I'm giving them an hour, perhaps just half, then I'm going back, I'll let you know what happens, ok?"

"Yeah, thanks."

As Chas meekly left the shop Paddy turned to look at Viv, the shop owner had one of her infamous smirks on her face.

"What?" Paddy asked.

"She didn't pay for that magazine so I'll add it to your bill."

"Fine." Paddy forced a smile, that was the least of his worries.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Face to Face

Part 3

"Thanks." Jackson took the steaming cup of coffee from Aaron's outstretched hand. He waited until the younger man was seated then said, "I really like Paddy, he's a good bloke."

Aaron was a little surprised by the statement and even more surprised with what then came out of his own mouth, "Yeah, there's a lot to like. He's cool in an un-cool sort of way! If you know what I mean?"

Jackson laughed, "Yeah, I think I do." After a few seconds his face hardened, his tone of voice to match, "You're lucky to have him you know."

Aaron fought the urge to look away and stared directly into Jackson's searching gaze. "Yeah, I know."

Sitting back in his chair Jackson responded coldly, "Let's hope you don't go forgetting that anytime soon!"

"What do you mean by that?" Aaron demanded.

"I saw what you did to his face! Was that the first and last time you hit him?"

"What?" Aaron asked incredulously.

"You seem to make a habit of hitting out at people you supposedly care about. I know Paddy would forgive you time and time again; it's what you call unconditional love. My cousin's husband used to beat her. In less than a year he'd punched every ounce of self worth out of her. I'd never willingly put myself in that position."

Aaron bowed his head, shame and self-loathing weighing heavily on his shoulders. He couldn't take back what he'd done and sorry was such an inadequate word no matter how many times you said it or how very much you meant it. Paddy might have forgiven him but he could never forgive himself, and it didn't seem Jackson would either.

Unhappy with Aaron's lack of verbal response Jackson pushed on, "Everyone has a temper, some worse than others. I can control mine and Paddy sure as hell can else he'd have knocked seven kinds of shit out of you by now!"

Slowly lifting his gaze to meet the older man's Aaron finally said, "He wants me to go to anger management."

"Sounds like a good idea to me, it's just a shame the idea didn't come from you."

Aaron shook his head, he'd expected the conversation between him and Jackson to be difficult but he hadn't expected to come under constant attack, and that's how it felt. Maybe he deserved it, but was that why Jackson had come? To make him feel like crap?

"You don't believe you need some sort of counselling?"

"Is that why you came? To see if I was getting professional help?"

"Yes! Well wouldn't you say a suicidal homophobic homosexual thug was in need of some?"

Aaron rocked back in his chair, eyeing the older man with alarm, was that what he was? Yes he supposed he was, partly, well he wasn't suicidal anymore but otherwise yes, that was exactly what he was. "I don't like what I am! I hate what I am." The truth suddenly tumbled unbidden off Aaron's lips.

"Why? What exactly is in there?" Jackson reached over and jabbed his index finger into Aaron's chest, "Some kind of monster?"

"You seem to think so!"

"No. No I don't. But you do! Why does what you feel for another man disgust you so much? Why do you think it's so wrong?"

"No one ever told me differently!" The words erupted from Aaron's mouth, he wasn't sure where they'd come from but they were starting to make some sense. "Everyone around me saw being gay as sick. My mates in school, on the estate, they hated gays. Gay bashing would be a sport to people like them! And my dad..." Catching himself before he said something he knew would really hurt him Aaron leapt to his feet, the momentum sending his chair crashing to the floor. Turning his back on Jackson he strode towards the window. He could sense Jackson's eyes on him and knew he'd just given him another reason to distance himself. He looked out at the village and wished himself a million miles away.

"What were you going to say about your dad?"

There was gentleness in Jackson's tone, one that took Aaron by surprise; he turned around to look him in the eye, hoping to see something just as reassuring there. When he did he stared down at the floor, trying to work up the courage needed to share a little more of himself.

Jackson was painfully aware of the younger man's internal struggle, and was beginning to regret his earlier approach. The hurt Aaron had bottled up inside of him was the reason he was the way he was. Maybe outing it wasn't possible, and maybe it wasn't even the right thing to do. And anyway, what gave him the right to even try?

The answer came swiftly; he liked Aaron, was strongly attracted to him, and like Paddy knew instinctively that the young man was worth every bit of the time and effort needed to reach him. Getting to his feet he righted Aaron's chair then returned to his own.

Seeing Jackson's gesture for what it was, a silent plea, Aaron forced his reluctant feet back over to the table, and resumed his seat.

Wrapping his hands around his cup Aaron stared into its now cold contents and began to speak "I was about twelve, thirteen maybe and there was this programme on the telly. It was all about gay men. My dad said it wasn't normal, that what they did together was sick, perverted was the word he used. He said that they used to lock men like that up, that they should still be locked up and the key thrown away! He turned the telly off then, started moaning about paying the TV licence fee, said why should he fork out his hard earned cash just so they could put crap about puffs on TV!"

As the words sank into Jackson subconscious he reached out his hand and rested it on Aaron's arm, "Is that why it was so hard telling Paddy?

Aaron shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe. Probably."

'Well congratulation Mr Livesy' Jackson thought scathingly to himself, 'You've damaged your son in more ways than one!'

/

Paddy was back at the window, feeling every inch a peeping tom. Catching a glimpse of Aaron's bowed head he quickly stepped away. Did he go in or return to the bench and his paper?

Something in Aaron's posture told Paddy the two young men needed more time alone and so he turned on his heels and walked away.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Face to Face

Part 4

Aaron hadn't given his father any serious thought in a long time. He'd made a determined effort not to. At times a memory would surface and sneak past his guard but he'd quickly crush it. He wasn't a part of his life anymore, he didn't want to be and Aaron had had to accept that. He'd told himself he didn't care, that it was no loss but deep down it still hurt.

Now as he sat dwelling on what he'd just told Jackson he wondered if the man knew he had a gay son. The Hotton Courier had printed the facts for the whole world to see but had Gordon Livesy seen it? With his ugly mush slap bang in the middle of the front page Aaron knew it would be hard to miss!

He could imagine his father sitting at the breakfast table, his mouth gaping open as he read the headline. Disgust and shame would probably have him puking up his muesli. Then he'd congratulate himself for throwing him out when he did! Well to hell with him, he could think what he liked.

Why was he wasting time thinking about that tosser anyway? Especially when someone he did desperately want to like him was sitting just inches away. He'd not given Jackson any reason to like him so far; he'd messed him about, stood him up, insulted and punched him! He'd have to be stupid to even think about giving him another chance?

Long minutes had passed since Aaron had opened up about his father; Jackson had sat silently, patiently waiting for the younger man to come out of his troubled daze. He'd studied him closely during that time, taking in the colour of his eyes, their shape, he'd let his gaze wander down to his cheek, the skin pale and perfectly honed across the bones that lay beneath. Aware his scrutiny was going unnoticed he let his eyes linger on the young man's lips; the tension in his jaw had moulded them almost into a pout. He could remember how they'd tasted, how they'd melded with his own. He knew the kiss had taken Aaron by surprise, he hadn't been certain of a response but he'd decided to take a chance and had been suitably rewarded. He'd gone home a happy man.

A lot had happened since then, he'd been both physically and emotionally bruised. The discolouration on his face had faded quickly but the same couldn't be said for the other hurt. He was so very wary of the younger man now but try as he might he couldn't keep away. Looking at Aaron now he could see only vulnerability and need. But somewhere, hidden deep inside there was anger, a rage instilled by ignorance and contempt and fuelled by fear of rejection.

If Aaron could work through that anger, open up and air his pain, if he could learn to like himself, to accept what and who he was maybe then he'd let someone love him like he deserved to be loved.

That day seemed a long way off but Jackson knew Aaron had taken a step nearer to reaching it today.

When the troubled blue eyes finally met his Jackson asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah." Aaron nodded, feeling anything but."

"You sure about that?"

"No." Aaron replied not caring how pathetic he sounded.

There was a weariness in Aaron's voice and it troubled Jackson. He'd been about to leave, but with every intention of coming back later that day but now he wasn't so sure he should go.

"Can I ask you something?"

Aaron gave the request a little thought and said, "Go for it?"

"Is the world really such a bad place?"

It took a little while before Aaron realised what Jackson was asking him and when he did he put both hands to his face and rubbed hard at his cheeks trying to control the sudden surge of emotion, desperate to stop the tears that threatened to fall. He didn't like thinking about that day or the first few days after he'd come to in the hospital. He'd not talked about it before, not properly and he hadn't expected to be doing so now but suddenly it seemed important that he did.

"I thought it was at the time. I hated myself and right then I hated Paddy even more. He'd told Marlon about me. I came looking for him but he wasn't here...so I took the surgery apart instead. Then I found out that me mam knew as well. I just wanted to crawl into some dark hole, go to sleep and never wake up." Blowing out a shaky breath Aaron glanced at the man sitting across from him, he knew he was listening intently, that he needed to understand and more importantly wanted to understand.

Wiping away a stray tear he shifted miserably in his seat, "It seemed a good idea at the time. A fitting end for a car mechanic. I thought better dead than queer!

"But I woke up, and nothing had changed, Paddy was still there, standing beside me as always, ready willing and able to pick up the pieces. The gobby cow was still shouting the odds. Every time I opened my eyes they were there, hurting just as much as me, maybe even more than me. I knew I couldn't do that to them again.

"I wanted to come home but I was scared at the same time, I hated the hospital but I felt safe there, nobody knew me there.

"When Paddy brought me home, he promised me that everything would be alright. He seemed so sure and I wanted to believe him but I was still so scared inside. By then I'd realised that he'd had to tell Marlon, that he'd had to tell Chas. He'd had no choice. But I still didn't want anyone else knowing. I still thought it was something I had to hide, something I had to control."

"But not any longer?" He'd just had to ask! Jackson knew Aaron was far from happy in his own skin but how close was he to wanting a relationship with a man? He watched as uncertainty clouded the handsome face opposite him.

"No, I'm out but I'm struggling with it still. Paddy keeps telling me I need to move on, that I need to get out and about, that I won't meet someone stuck indoors."

"He's right."

"He usually is!" Aaron grinned but the mirth quickly turned to despondency, "But who'd want me?"

"Me maybe!" The words were out of his mouth before Jackson realised it, his heart overruling his head once again. But Jackson couldn't take them back, he didn't want to anyway. There was still stuff coming between them, things they still needed to talk about. They'd have to take things slowly and he was willing to do just that, but was Aaron? He stared expectantly into the other man's eyes and waited impatiently for his response.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Face to Face

Part 5

What was that Jackson had just said? Aaron was certain he hadn't heard him right. He'd better make sure, "What?"

Jackson sat forward in his chair and rested his arms on the table, unconsciously closing the distance between him and the younger man. "I said me maybe!"

Aaron had made a fool of himself before where Jackson was concerned. They'd been at Bar West and the older man had said he was leaving early and heading home. Aaron had thought it an invitation to join him and had been embarrassed on realising his mistake. So embarrassed he'd done a runner. Jackson had followed and done his best to soothe his ruffled pride. He had to be sure he wasn't making another such mistake now. "You? As in you and me?"

"Yeah" Jackson grinned, he like the surprised, not quite able to believe it look, on Aaron's face, he looked particularly cute right at that moment and also it was another reminder of just how vulnerable he was.

"After everything I've done?" Aaron still wasn't convinced. Knowing what he did about him why would Jackson want to get involved with someone so messed up, someone who made a habit of messing up?

"You know what you did was wrong and you regret it. You had your reasons and I can understand them. But you can't let them rule or ruin your life. You are going to have to work through your problems and accept that you can't do it alone. If you're willing to do that, then I'm willing to pick up where we left off...you know, that kiss outside Bar West!"

Aaron felt a rush of colour to his cheeks, he'd thought a lot about that kiss recently, but he'd not dared hope he'd experience the same thrill again anytime soon.

God! Could the boy get any cuter? Jackson thought as he witnessed Aaron blush. Reining in his lustful thoughts he said, "We take it slowly, see how it goes and if it doesn't work out then we walk away friends. Ok?"

"Ok." Aaron said as a smile lit up his face.

/

Paddy checked his watch again, 'Quarter past nine!' He'd given them enough time hadn't he? He couldn't be sure and spent the next five minutes arguing with himself about it. He'd been hopeful at first but sitting there alone and fretting he'd started to think the worst. He was worried that things weren't going too smoothly over at Smithy Cottage and that he'd be needed to step in and pull the plug. Sometimes it was better to have a clean break rather than go round in circles looking for something that wasn't there. He got to his feet, tucked his paper under his arm and strolled up towards the main road.

He thought he heard a door opening and looked up to see Jackson walking towards his van. The young man smiled over at him and waved before driving off.

He'd looked happy enough, a lot happier than he'd looked when he'd first arrived. Paddy watched the van until it disappeared around the corner then turned his attention back to his still open doorway. Aaron was standing there, seemingly waiting for him to return. Only Aaron wasn't smiling, but then neither was he frowning or looking in any way down. In fact his expression was difficult to read.

As he drew closer Paddy thought he could see a hint of devilment in Aaron's eyes.

"I was just about to send out a search party, we thought you'd got lost! Honestly Paddy, could you have been any more obvious?"

There was something different about Aaron. Something in his posture, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It seemed something positive had happened in his absence and Paddy was eager to know what. Reaching the doorway he said theatrically, "Well, a man's got to do what a man's got to do."

The young man rolled his eyes and groaned then turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

'Oh no you don't' Paddy thought to himself, 'if he thinks he's going into that living room and watching the football highlights on tv now, then he's sadly mistaken. Instilling some parental authority into his voice he called after the younger man, "Oi! Sit. Now!

Aaron immediately stopped in his tracks and looked back at Paddy, the older man was pointing determinedly at a chair and Aaron knew he seriously expected his order to be obeyed. Paddy obviously wanted to be filled in on what had happened and Aaron had every intention of doing so but not before he'd rebelled a little, "You talking to me or Clyde?"

"Clyde and me have already had one long and meaningful this morning so that rules him out!"

"You had a long and meaningful with a dog?" Aaron enjoyed this kind of bantering with Paddy, it had become a friendly game between them, only from the look on Paddy's face he didn't seem all that keen on playing it this morning.

Admitting defeat Aaron pulled out and sat on the chair he'd not long since vacated and waited for Paddy to join him.

Once seated, Paddy eyed his young friend intently, "Well?"

Still not quite ready to talk about him and Jackson Aaron pretended to be pondering a question before saying, "Something that holds a lot of water!"

"What? Oh very funny! But don't you go giving up your day job, the comedy circuit isn't quite ready for a wit that sharp" Paddy sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, "I could torture it out of you, you know. And it so happens I have a drug in my bag that's of a similar makeup to the truth drug, sodium pentothal. I could always give you a dose of that to help loosen your tongue!"

"Really?" Aaron was impressed, he hadn't realised a vets bag contained stuff like that.

"No! But I'm pretty sure I could get my hands on some if I needed to."

Aaron smiled, Paddy had won that round. "Ok, I'll talk but how about you put the kettle on? Talking's thirsty work." The young man's smile grew wider on realising where he'd heard that comment before.

Five minutes later Paddy was placing two cups of tea on the table, along with a plateful of biscuits. Aaron liked to dunk and the habit had rubbed off on him too. As the younger man reached for a chocolate digestive, Paddy slapped his hand away, "You can't talk with a mouthful of soggy biscuit; you can have one when and only when you've told me what I want to hear!"

"So you're resorting to torture?"

"Like I said before..."

"I know, I know, a man's got to do and all that crap! Ok we talked."

"About?"

"Everything...well not everything, but we cleared the air a little and ...shit! I didn't apologise! I meant to and he knew I was sorry and everything but I never actually got around to doing it."

"Maybe next time, if there were to be a next time?" Paddy fished . "You could apologise then?"

"Yeah if there were to be a next time."

"And is there?" Paddy demanded his patience finally running out.

Aaron fought down the temptation to say 'is there what' and instead said, "Yeah, there's going to be a next time."

Heaving a relieved sigh Paddy eyed the antagonist sitting across the table and said "It's like getting blood out of a stone! I'm supposed to be doing the torturing not you. Now fess up!"

"Fess up?"

"Aaron!" Paddy barked,

"Ok, ok. He's picking me up at eight tomorrow night."

Paddy smiled broadly, he was pleased beyond measure to hear Jackson had decided to give Aaron another chance. And the very fact Aaron hadn't chosen to go into town and meet up with him there, well away from the all seeing eyes of the village was another reason to be happy. The young man had reached another milestone.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Face to Face

Part 6

He'd had a pig of a morning and all he wanted to do now was sink into a chair with a coffee, and have five minutes to himself. But as Paddy turned his car engine off and stepped out into the warmth of the midday sun, Chas stepped out through the surgery door. He had an idea what was coming and wanted to delay it for as long as possible. So deliberately avoiding eye contact he walked around to the back of the car where he unlocked the boot and retrieved his practice bag.

"Oi!"

The familiar screech echoed through the stillness of the day and Paddy cringed. "Oh hi Chas, I didn't see you there."

"Course you didn't!" Chas snapped, "So, what happened? You said you'd get back to me."

"I couldn't, Aaron was never out of earshot."

"Well he's not here now so?"

Determined not to go into any great detail, Paddy replied, "It went well, they're seeing each other tonight."

"Right!" The brunette said as a frown settled on her face

"You don't look or sound too pleased about that." Paddy couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice; didn't she want to see her son happy?

"I am and I'm not. I'm happy he's you know, seeing someone but not so happy its Jackson."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Look Chas, you can't hold that against him for ever. Let it go. I think he'll be good for Aaron."

"Well that's easy for you to say, you've met him, talked to him, Aaron's not likely to bring him round to my place for tea now is he?"

Paddy was certain the odds of that happening were a zillion to one but didn't want to rub Chas' nose in the fact, "Give them a little time and who knows! And anyway you're bound to bump into him at some point.

"You'll keep an eye on them won't you? He's so very vulnerable right now and..."

"I can't believe you just said that?" Paddy snapped, sometimes Chas seemed to forget how important her son was in his life, and that Aaron actual cared about him. Well he wouldn't be made to feel so inconsequential, not by her. "I don't need telling to watch out for him, I've been doing exactly that for a long time now." With that he stalked around the now dumbstruck Chas and into the surgery, slamming the door behind him.

"What's going on?"

Chas turned to see her son walking towards her.

"Oh nothing..."

"It didn't look like nothing to me. What you been saying?"

"You know me, something thoughtless."

"Yeah, that would right!"

"You home for your lunch?" Chas decided to change the subject.

"Yeah, but he's not going to be much company now is he."

"He'll be fine with you. It's me he's mad at. But we'll be fine; I just need to give him a bit more credit."

/

He'd started to get ready early and was showered, dressed and making his way downstairs by half seven. He'd wanted to be ready when Jackson pulled up outside, eager to make a quick getaway. But as he reached the bottom step he heard voices and realised Jackson was already there, sitting talking to Paddy by the table.

He was suddenly flustered, now he and Jackson would have to walk outside together! But that was no different to being seen with Paddy or Adam was it? He tried to reassure himself with that thought but realised how cowardly he was being. Of course it was different, and Jackson deserved better than that from him.

"He scrubs up well doesn't he?" Paddy gestured towards Aaron as the young man stepped into the room, the teasing earned him a black look but it was like water off a ducks back to Paddy and he continued to grin.

"Not bad." Jackson joined in the teasing, all the time thinking just how fit the younger man looked.

"Are we going or what?" Aaron asked impatiently, "I'm starving."

As the two men rose from their seats Aaron glared over at Paddy, hoping against hope that he wasn't planning to walk them to the door then wave them off like someone's granny!

He breathed a sigh of relief when the older man moved towards the living room, but was soon cringing again when Paddy said with a wicked glint in his eye, "Don't you go having the madras, you know it always gives you the trots!"

After that Aaron found it was actually a relief to be outside and openly walking down the path alongside Jackson even if he was laughing at him.

/

Jackson had heard that a new curry house had opened in town; he'd suggested they try it out then finish Monday night off in Bar West.

With that planned Aaron hadn't eaten anything since lunch time and was quickly scanning the menu for his favourite dish.

"No madras for you." Jackson grinned.

"What's he like?" Aaron laughed good naturedly, although he had every intention of getting Paddy back for his comment, as true as it was.

The Indian restaurant was fairly busy for a Monday night, most of the tables were in use and right at the back of the room in the corner were a group of men. They were in high spirits, obviously celebrating something or other.

At one point some raucous laughter was heard, it instantly caught Aaron's attention and he craned his neck around to see if he recognised anyone in the party. He couldn't see all the faces and tried to forget what had troubled him.

By the end of their meal they were both starting to feel more comfortable with each other and when the bill arrived Jackson snatched it up.

"We'll go halves." Aaron said as he reached for the piece of paper.

"No, I'll pay this time; you can pay the next time we come."

Suddenly certain there would be a next time Aaron readily agreed. "Ok, I'll just nip to the bog then."

The men's room was situated at the back of the restaurant and as Aaron reached its door he glanced warily over at the men making all the noise. It was a relief to have confirmation that he'd been wrong about the earlier laughter.

Stepping through the door he found himself in a small hallway, several doors led off it. Pushing the appropriate door open he came face to face with another man.

Stricken by a sudden rush of emotion he could only watch as first surprise and then revulsion appeared on the familiar face.

He wanted to turn around and run but his feet were rooted to the spot. But it seemed his father couldn't stand to look at him a second longer because the next thing Aaron knew, the bigger man was barging past him, violently shouldering him out of his way. Aaron stumbled, his back impacting with the wall. But he was glad the wall was there, because he was trembling so much he wasn't sure his legs would hold him upright. But it wasn't fear that was making him shake it was anger and he knew he had to get out of there before he lost his head.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Face to Face

Part 7

Jackson had been in the process of paying for their meal when Aaron had charged passed.

"Aaron?" Bewildered by the seemingly panicked exit he hurriedly pulled out several notes from his wallet and pressed them into the hand of the curry house's owner. Mumbling his thanks he then hurried outside.

There was a small car park at the side of the building, for patrons use only and that's where he'd left his car, but Aaron wasn't making for there, he was heading down the empty street in the opposite direction.

"What the hell?" Jackson was at a loss as to what was happening, and was growing increasingly concerned. "Aaron!" he yelled before breaking into a run.

When he was within reach of the younger man he caught hold of his arm and hauled him around to face him. "What you doing?" Aaron instantly bowed his head but not before Jackson had seen the anger in his eyes. Wary now he released his grip but stood his ground. Something had happened in the few minutes he and Aaron had been apart but what could possibly have provoked such a reaction in such a short space of time? Lowering his voice and forcing some calm into his tone he said, "What happened in there Aaron, I need to know."

"Bastard!" Aaron spat."

Certain the remark wasn't aimed at him Jackson looked back up the street at the restaurant. He thought about the rowdy crowd in the corner, and knowing that it wasn't long since Aaron's face had been plastered across the local paper he began to think they might have had something to do with it. "Did somebody recognise you? Did they say something?"

Aaron's head snapped up, "He recognised me alright! But he didn't say a word! He didn't have to I could tell what he was thinking. I told you the bastard hated gays!"

"What?" Jackson didn't want to believe what he was hearing. But there was hurt now and not anger in Aaron's eyes, seemingly confirming his suspicions, "Not your dad?"

In answer to that question, Aaron just turned and walked away.

Jackson quickly followed, moving along side and falling into step with Aaron.

"Where you going?"

His question going unanswered, Jackson again caught hold of the younger man's arm, and forced him to stop. Gesturing in the direction they had just come from he said, "The car's that way!"

Aaron looked around him, trying to get his bearings and realised he'd took off with no thought of where he was going, he'd not given any thought to Jackson either and was suddenly desperate to put that right, "Sorry. I had to get out of there."

"I know!" Jackson acknowledged. The younger man's distress was painfully obvious and wanting to put some real distance between them and what had caused it Jackson said, "C'mon lets go back to the car, I'll take you home."

Aaron's heart sank, had his behaviour put Jackson off? "I thought we were going to Bar West?"

"You still want to go?"

"Don't you?"

"I thought you might want to talk about what happened, a noisy bar isn't the best place to do that."

"Well I don't want to talk about it!"

"So you're just going to bury the hurt and hope it stays dead! Well it won't..."

"You're starting to sound like Paddy." Aaron snapped, he hated all this 'airing of the emotions' stuff, all it did was show how weak and pathetic you were.

"Well maybe that's because like him, I care about you."

The earnestly made statement was the slap down Aaron needed and he looked away,

Certain the younger man would be a bit more receptive now, Jackson continued, "If things are going to work between you and me then we have to be able to talk about things like this, about things that could come between us. You can't get close to someone unless you open up and let them in!"

Heaving a sigh Aaron said, "Alright! But I'm not going home, not yet. Paddy will know something's up..."

"You should tell him about this."

"Why?

"Because..." Jackson paused and pointed towards the curry house, "Paddy stepped into that 'bastards' shoes! He willingly took his place and that means he's earned the right to know why you're snapping at him over breakfast in the morning!"

Aaron couldn't argue with that, "Ok, but we stop for one in Bar West?"

Jackson grinned, "Ok, I can only have one anyway, I'm driving."

The two men began to walk back up the street, Jackson breathing a sigh of relief when they passed the door to the restaurant, another ten yards or so and they would turn the corner into the car park, they would be well out of the area in minutes.

"Hey! Is that your girlfriend?"

The voice was mocking and laced with loathing, Both Jackson and Aaron turned around, knowing the remark had been intended for them. Three men were stood by the restaurant door, two seemingly holding the third upright.

"Sorry mate!" The tallest of the three men offered looking more than a little embarrassed, "Gordo here's had too much to drink; he doesn't know what he's saying.

"See him!" Gordon Livesy pointed at his estranged son, "That, that thing there. He should've been drowned at birth!"

The words cut through Aaron like a knife, but while he remained motionless, frozen to the spot, Jackson had stormed towards the three men, the target of his anger now being hastily manhandled back inside the restaurant. The man who had earlier apologised for Livesy's behaviour had managed to shut the door behind the other two men, and was preventing Jackson entering through it with his own bulk and words of reason.

Aaron knew that the set-to was all his fault and that he couldn't just stand by and do nothing. He lunged forward and grabbing hold of Jacksons arm started to pull him away, pleading with the older man as he did so, "Leave it, he's not worth it!"

Jackson finally backed down, pacing back and forth trying to walk off his anger while the apologetic stranger turned his attention to Aaron.

"I don't know what's got into him! I've never seen him like that before. He'll regret it in the morning I know."

"Forget it." Aaron said, "I will."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Face to Face

Part 8

They had walked silently back to the car, brooding over what had just occurred, each of them trying to temper their emotions. But once settled in their seats, they looked at each other with concern, Aaron the first to speak, "You ok?"

"It should be me asking you that!" Jackson replied apologetically.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not! But you will be." Jackson assured the younger man, 'I'll make damn sure of that,' he silently promised himself. His anger had all but ebbed away now and he was beginning to regret his actions. He could easily have made a bad situation worse by reacting the way he did. But he'd been incensed by Gordon Livesy treatment of his own son. He'd been quick to preach to Aaron the day before and knew he had to apologise. "Sorry. There's me lecturing you about controlling your temper and then I go and lose mine!"

Jackson's actions had meant only one thing to Aaron and that was that he cared, "Thanks," he began a little self consciously, "you know... for standing up to him."

"Easy enough with him standing one side of the door and me on the other." Jackson joked, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

"Maybe it was a good thing he was here tonight."

"What do you mean?" Jackson was stumped by the comment.

"Well it was going to happen sometime wasn't it? Him and me crossing paths! He's done his worst and I'm still standing. It's over. I can move on."

Jackson smiled, pleased Aaron was seeing the confrontation as a positive step and also that he was comfortable enough to share that with him. Up until now he'd had to drag his every thought and feeling out of him.

The smile was returned, and Jacksons gaze gravitated to Aaron's lips. He leaned in closer, wanting to feel them against his own. Just a breath apart now he let his hand rest against Aaron's inner thigh, the contact initiating a tremulous sigh from the younger man. The feather soft wisp of air caressed Jackson's cheek igniting a fire that hadn't burned in so long a time. As it raged inside he claimed his prize, finding them soft warm and as hungry as his own.

/

Bar West was fairly busy, it always attracted a crowd no matter what night of the week it was. The loud music and endless buzz of energy always gave the place a welcoming feel but tonight was the first night Aaron had actually felt comfortable there. He wasn't nervously looking around him, or keeping an eye on the door. He was relaxed and enjoying himself and that was all because of the man sitting next to him.

The night could so easily have been a disaster, he'd reacted badly to seeing his father, and his father had reacted badly to seeing him! But Jackson had got him through it and then they'd kissed. A long heat filled melding of want and need. This was only the second time he'd been left wanting more, and was for the first time unbelievably curious of where it could lead.

Jackson had been the first to pull away but only because he had remembered where they were and the need to put some miles between them and the area.

Since then Jackson had looked at him differently. He liked the way the brown eyes hungered for him even if it did scare him almost as much as it excited him.

"Come on then, One's your lot remember?" Jackson said as he got to his feet.

Aaron wanted to protest to suggest they stay another half hour but decided not to, he knew Jackson had an early start and he had another day of community payback ahead of him. He'd thought a day at the garage was tiring but it had nothing on the tasks he'd been set as he worked off his 150 hours.

As they made their way to the exit, Jackson acknowledged several of the other men present, he exchanged a few words with a couple of them, even introducing him to a few he seemed to know well. 'How well?' the young man wondered, were they just friends or had they been more than that? He wasn't jealous he was just interested, he knew very little about Jackson and simply wanted to know more.

Twenty minutes later the car was pulling up outside of Paddy's,

"Coffee?" Jackson asked hopefully as he turned the ignition off.

"C'mon then," Aaron grinned as he pushed the car door open. Paddy would still be up and he knew that was exactly what Jackson was hoping for. He wasn't looking forward to the upcoming conversation but had reluctantly accepted it had to take place.

Clyde met him at the door, letting him know he'd been missed. As the dogs attention moved on to Jackson Aaron stepped into the kitchen. He could see a light and hear the tv in the next room and knew he'd find his friend there.

Sure enough the older man was slouched across the sofa, a mug in one hand and a silly grin plastered across his face.

"Good night?"

"Mostly!" Aaron replied turning around as Jackson stepped into the room.

"Jackson!" Paddy sat upright, rearranging himself into a more presentably manner. he'd not really expected to see him tonight, knowing Aaron as well as he did he'd not thought 'the back to his place for a coffee' move would happen just yet. But he was pleased it had, only the 'mostly' line from Aaron and the serious look on Jackson's face was beginning to worry him a little.

"I'll just make us that drink." Aaron said before leaving the room.

"Has something happened?" Paddy asked as he gestured for the younger man to sit beside him.

Settling himself onto the sofa Jackson nodded, "Aaron's dad happened!"

There was something foreboding about the icy tone in which Jackson delivered the statement, now he really was worried.

"You met him?"

"You could say that!"

"And?" Paddy was almost afraid to ask what had happened

Jackson looked towards the door and seeing Aaron hovering there, not making any attempt to join in the conversation, boldly took it upon himself to explain. He turned around to face the older man, "He was drunk and things got very ugly..."

"He hates what I am!" Aaron interrupted, the need to vent some hurt appearing out of nowhere. "He hates me! End of story." With that he went back to making the coffee.

"It's a lot more complicated than that." Jackson told Paddy quietly. "Aaron's always known his father is homophobic..."

"Right!" Exclaimed Paddy as a light bulb went on in his head, "That explains a lot!"

Jackson nodded his understanding.

"Uh... just how ugly?" It had suddenly occurred to Paddy that Aaron might have lashed out, "Aaron didn't..."

"No he didn't but I..." Jackson began.

"You hit him?" Paddy interrupted.

"No, but not for the want of trying ." Jackson admitted sheepishly, "There shouldn't be any come back, he was the one out of line. It's just that I thought you should know."

"What happened exactly?" Paddy had the gist of the matter but not the details and he believed he needed them before he could be of any support to Aaron.

Jackson glanced up at the doorway again and hearing the clinking of cups decided he could expand a little.

Paddy listened intently, quietly seething, He didn't consider himself a violent man, but he'd been known to vent his feelings with his fist on a couple of occasions. Gordon Livesy was lucky he wasn't in the same room as him now, because if he was, he'd have punched him so hard he'd never get up again...and to hell with the consequences!

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Face to Face

Part 9

"Good morning."

The cheery greeting drew Paddy's attention away from his work diary, it was going to be another busy Friday but Pearl would make sure it all went smoothly and to plan.

"Morning Pearl, kettles on. Give me a minute and I'll make us a brew before our first customer arrives."

Pearl Ladderbanks smiled fondly at her boss. The man had a heart of gold. He was looking decidedly tired this morning but then that wasn't surprising, he worked so hard, and had had a tough couple of months; thankfully he had the weekend off. Two full days to relax or chillax as Paddy was prone to say when Aaron was around! With everything running smoothly in the Kirk household for once it seemed there was a very real possibility of him actually getting some much needed peace and quiet.

Aaron was much more settled, and was certainly happier in himself and Pearl knew there was a handsome young man on the scene. She was pleased for him, relieved that he was getting on with life. She knew Paddy was responsible in most part for that, and wished he had someone too. It was a terrible waste of a good man!

"Do you have any plans for the weekend?" Pearl asked as she tucked her handbag behind her desk and eased herself down into the swivel chair.

"Well actually I've a feeling I'm going to busy this weekend..." Paddy caught himself, he hadn't planned on saying anything just yet, but he was getting a little too excited about it now and was finding it difficult to keep it to himself. He'd have to tell Pearl now though; she'd interrogate him till he did. "I've bought Aaron a car!"

Pearl's mouth dropped open, "You've done what?"

Sensing the disapproval in Pearl's voice Paddy hastily added, "It's nothing flash or expensive. Just a run about. It's road worthy and everything but needs a little work. I thought he could do it up in his free time. Idle hands and all that!""

Her face softening with adoration Pearl said, "That's a lovely thing to do, oh you are sweet!"

Paddy squirmed in embarrassment, and was determined to explain himself "He's had a really rough time, you don't know the half of it Pearl! I just wanted to do something for him, Reward the courage he's shown." There was a great deal more to it than that. He just couldn't quite bring himself to say that he was doing what any father would do for a son that age. Something Aaron's own father was never likely to do now.

"Does he know?"

"Does he heck as like! I'm going to spring it on him. I want him to look out the window tomorrow, see this really cool car in the drive and say 'who's is that?' I can't wait to see his face when I say, 'Yours!"

"Oh Paddy!"

"Would you stop looking at me like that Pearl; people will be getting the wrong idea about us"

/

The two men were standing in the hallway, Aaron eyeing Paddy suspiciously "Where you going?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"Nowhere, just out!"

Narrowing his eyes as he studied the older man more closely Aaron said, "There's something wrong with this conversation Patrick, it's usually you doing the asking and me doing the sidestepping!"

Paddy grinned, "Annoying isn't it!"

Aaron rolled his eyes, "So where are you going?"

"I told you, out!" Taking a step nearer the front door Paddy added, "Have a good time tonight and I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early."

"It's Saturday!"

"I know."

"I always have a lie in on a Saturday."

"I've a feeling you won't want one tomorrow!"

"You haven't been bitten by a mad dog or a crazed gerbil have you Paddy? You're not quite yourself tonight."

Paddy cringed, then held up his left index finger for the younger man to see. A brightly coloured plaster was neatly wrapped around its tip, "Well Dylan Black's hamster did nip me this morning, drew blood and everything!"

Screwing up his face Aaron replied, "That explains it then!"

As the young man made his way upstairs Paddy made his way outside to his car, pleased with himself for not giving anything away. Now all he had to do was make his way up to Butler's farm. John Barton was driving him the twenty miles to pick up Aaron's car, then he'd drive it back to John's place and Moira would deliver it on her way to work the next morning. He had it all planned, what could possibly go wrong?

/

Paddy had been back an hour when a knock came on the door, he was expecting Marlon so had left it on the latch. "It's open!" he yelled, not wanting to miss any of the film he was watching, especially as it was getting to an exciting bit. Hearing the door open he called over his shoulder, "I'm in here. Beers in the fridge, chilling like me!"

He'd already had one but was more than ready for another. "Bring one for me."

"You ok?" Paddy asked hearing movement behind him, "You're very quiet!"

"What would you like me to say?"

The voice sent a shiver down Paddy's spine, it didn't belong to Marlon! So who did it belong to? He clambered to his feet, shocked to see Gordon Livesy leaning against the door frame.

For one long moment all he could think about was the cruel unforgivable thing Livesy had said to his son the other night, the urge to physically hurt the man returned but he told himself to remain calm for Aaron's sake, but try as he might he couldn't keep the hostility out of his voice, "You're not welcome here so get out!"

"You invited me in, offered me a drink so why get all antisocial now?"

"Get out!" Paddy repeated, he wasn't going to play Livesy's games.

"I'll finish this if you don't mind!" Gordon Livesy took a mouthful of beer from the can he'd taken from the fridge, and then stumbled back into the kitchen.

Paddy followed, "You've had enough." The man reeked of booze; he'd obviously had a skinful before he'd arrived. There was no reasoning with a drunken man; he'd just have to throw the bastard out. But maybe he should find out why he was there first. Had he come to apologise to Aaron? He very much doubted it but still, he had to be sure.

"What do you want?"

Slamming the beer can down onto the table Livesy glared over at Paddy, "I want to know what turned my son gay?"

"What?"

"Something did! He was alright when he lived with me. Girl mad he was."

"No!" Paddy said flatly, that was all pretence."

"He was alright until he came here!" Raising his arm Livesy pointed his finger accusingly at Paddy, "You! You did it!"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Two or is it three failed marriages behind you? Even Chas kicked you into touch. There has to be a reason you can't keep a woman. You a gay too?"

"Get out, now!" Paddy snarled, the conversation had taken a disturbing turn; and he was quickly losing his already fragile grip on his temper.

Again ignoring the demand to leave Livesey squared up to the taller man, "You took him in readily enough. I bet you couldn't believe your luck, a good looking kid like him under your roof. You had plenty of opportunity to persuade him to your way of thinking. What did you do? Pay him to share your bed!"

The next thing Paddy was aware of was hearing a satisfying crunch, the sound of bone against bone, that of his knuckles connecting with Gordon Livesy's jaw.

He watched the man crumple to the floor, the temptation to haul him upright and do it all over again was overwhelming but somehow Paddy managed to find the strength to walk away.

He strode over to the front door, pulling it open before striding back to where Livesy was now attempting to get to his knees. Ignoring the man's groans of pain Paddy grabbed him by the back of his neck, heaved him to his feet and shoved him towards the open door and then out through it, slamming it behind him.

Turning around he slumped back against the door, gulping in air in an attempt to quell the nausea that now had him in its grip. The man was insane! He had to be to accuse him of something as sick as that!

Outside, Livesy was shouting abuse, but his voice was growing more and more difficult to hear so Paddy knew he was moving away from the house. Several minutes later he heard a car engine turning over and was struck by a worrying thought. The drunken Livesy was behind the wheel of a car! He had to have driven here that way but Paddy knew he couldn't let him drive away in that condition, he'd end up killing somebody.

Yanking the door open he ran outside, he could see a car parked by the bus stop, Gordon Livesy was behind the wheel. He knew if he could get to the driver's side door he could switch off the engine and confiscate the key. He'd ring the police then, let them deal with him.

As he started to move towards the car he realised it was moving, when it mounted the grass verge he grew even more determined to prevent Livesy driving off. The car was rapidly increasing in speed and Paddy suddenly realised it was coming directly at him. He tried to get out of its way but as he changed direction so did Livesy.

He was aware of the impact, of the loud thud as his body made painful contact with the bonnet of the car. Then he was falling, the road surface rising to meet him.

Then there was only darkness, and somewhere far away, he could hear Marlon calling his name.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Face to Face

Part 10

Bar West was humming with activity, Friday night always a crowd puller. All the tables were taken so the two young men were standing chatting by the bar.

"I'm telling you. He's up to something!" Paddy had been behaving strangely earlier that evening and Aaron couldn't help but be a little concerned.

"Maybe he's seeing a woman?" Jackson suggested

Aaron thought about the older man's comment for a second or two then said, "She must be a right minger if he's sneaking off to see her!"

"Sneaking off!"

"Well what would you call it?"

"Keeping my private life private! Now stop worrying and get the drinks in."

"I'm not worrying; I'm just...well it's just not like him to be so secretive."

As they waited to be served Aaron's mobile rang, he had barely heard the ringtone above the music and wished he hadn't when he realised it was his mother calling him.

"Aren't you going to answer that? Jackson asked when Aaron pushed the still ringing phone back into his pocket.

"No, she'll only give me earache!"

"She?"

"Me Mam!" Aaron said pulling a face.

Jackson smiled but it troubled him knowing that Aaron's relationship with his mother was so fraught.

The phone stopped ringing only start again just seconds later. Aaron retrieved his phone and shook his head, "Her again!"

"Why don't you just answer it? She's obviously going to keep on ringing until you do!"

"She's just checking up on me."

"So let her know you're ok and she'll leave you alone!"

"Yeah right!" Pressing the answer button, Aaron then held the phone to his ear, "What do you want?"

Jackson cringed at the younger man's irritable tone; he wouldn't dare speak to his mother like that! It was obvious Aaron had little respect for Chastity Dingle. But then, considering how she'd so casually strolled in and out of his life, who could blame him.

"What? Look calm down I can't understand what you're saying!"

Standing just inches away Jackson could actually hear the shrill voice at the other end of the phone, the woman sounded hysterical and from the stricken look on Aaron's face there was good reason for her to be."

"Which hospital?"

Hearing Aaron ask that, Jackson instantly reached into his pocket for his car keys, it looked like he was going to be needing them.

"I'll be right there."

"What's happened?" Jackson asked as soon as it was clear the call was over. But the younger man seemed dazed and when he didn't answer immediately Jackson gripped both his forearms and shook him gently, "Aaron?"

Snapping out of whatever thought he'd been lost in Aaron said, "Paddy's had an accident, me mam says he's in a bad way!"

Quickly shrugging off his own sense of alarm, Jackson wrapped an arm around the younger man. As he ushered him towards the exit door he said, "C'mon I'll have you there in no time."

They had been fortunate to find a parking space very close to the Accident and Emergency departments' door. From there they'd run to the reception area. The woman behind the desk had then directed them though the main waiting room to a smaller room designated Relatives Room.

It had been half an hour since he'd got the call from his mother and Aaron was beyond desperate to know what was happening with Paddy. He crashed through the door, startling both Chastity and Marlon who were waiting there.

"Aaron!" Chas leapt to her feet.

"Where is he? Is he alright? I want to see him!" Aaron demanded.

"He's in theatre; the doctor said he was bleeding inside and...

"He's going to be alright though?"

"They think so, just as long as they can stop the bleeding."

"And if they can't?"

"I...I don't know." Chas said fearfully, she didn't want to have to think about that.

Not liking what he was hearing from his mother Aaron turned to Marlon. "What happened? Were you with him?"

"He was hit by a car and no, no I wasn't. Not when it happened anyway."

"Hit by a car? Well where? Why? Wh... what was he doing" Aaron struggled to take it all in, Paddy was so sensible, he wouldn't walk in front of a car!"

"Outside the house." Marlon paused then looked towards Chas, how was he going to tell the lad that his own father was responsible for what had happened to Paddy.

Aaron didn't miss the exchange of troubled looks, "What aren't you telling me ? Was it hit and run or something?

"No! We don't really know what happened yet. We just know who was driving the car and that he was drunk..."

"Drunk! Well who was it? Someone from the village"

"It was your dad!" Chas spoke up, deciding it wasn't fair to leave the telling of such a grotesque event to Marlon. She was Aaron's mother and she'd once loved his father. Better he hear the truth from her and better it be here and now, "He did it deliberately!"

Aaron shuddered violently, horrified by what he'd just been told. Suddenly his legs felt like jelly and he swayed on his feet. He felt someone take his arm, guide him to a chair and then down into it. Jackson!

And Jackson was talking now, talking above the other two people in the room, telling them that it was neither the time nor the place to be arguing, It seemed Paddy's best mate believed Chas had gone too far by letting him know it was no accident, that they didn't know for sure.

Well he did! He was sure. He knew it had been no accident. If his dad had turned up at Paddy's drunk then he'd gone looking for trouble. Just like the other night. And it was because of what he was!

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Face to Face

Part 11

The Relatives Room was small but light and airy. Six comfortable chairs were placed informally around its pale yellow walls. A hot drinks machine stood next to its one window and a small table stocked with an array of magazine was set near to the door.

Jackson knew it was for the use of the bereaved or for those waiting anxiously for news of a loved one. A quiet, private place set aside for those in emotional pain.

It was uncomfortably quiet now. The atmosphere morose and tense. Jackson knew he was partly responsible for the tension. Earlier he'd loudly reminded Chas and Marlon where they were and why. Someone had had to stop them tearing strips off each other. He didn't know them, yes he'd been in there company before, in the same room to be exact but he'd not actually spoken to either of them and here he was putting them right on a few things. That wasn't likely to get him into Aaron's family's good books!

The cousins were now ignoring each other and him too probably. Not that he cared, Aaron was his only concern. He was there to support him and after Chas' bombshell Jackson knew the younger man was going to need him even more.

It had shaken Aaron badly but he'd recovered quickly and gone on to demand that Marlon tell him what he knew for sure. It seemed one of the villagers had seen a man entering Paddy's. Another one had seen him leave, and had told the police he seemed angry and had been hurling abuse at the vet's door. Marlon himself had seen the car actual hit Paddy, but he was a hundred yards away at the time and couldn't be sure of anything other than that the impact had sent Paddy sprawling over the bonnet then onto the road.

That's when all hell had broken loose. People were running from all directions. Livesy was by now out of the car, swaying on his feet and telling everyone that Paddy had got what he deserved. Emotions had been running dangerously high and Terry and Bob had had to restrain an irate Zak Dingle.

The ambulance and the police had arrived shortly after. While the paramedics attended to an unconscious Paddy; the police had breathalysed Gordon Livesy and arrested him on the spot.

With Marlon's memory of the incident seemingly confirming Chas's earlier statement Aaron had slipped back inside himself.

Jackson was sitting next to Aaron now, but he wasn't sure the younger man even knew he was there. He'd give him a few more minutes then he'd try and talk to him. He couldn't imagine what was going through his mind, but it couldn't be good, and it wouldn't be doing him any good either.

Glancing around to see what the others were doing he saw that Marlon was staring out through the window up at the darkening sky. Chas was sitting in a corner chair, tapping away at her phone, texting someone, trying, Jackson imagined, to keep herself occupied.

Getting to his feet he walked over to the drinks machine, "Can I get anyone a coffee, tea?"

Marlon answered with a preoccupied shake of the head and Chas with a curt, "No ta."

Selecting tea, Jackson added an extra couple of sachets of sugar to the plastic cup, telling himself a sugar rush wouldn't go amiss right now. Moving back to sit alongside Aaron he gently squeezed his arm and said, "Here, drink this."

Aaron shook his head, there was something he needed to tell Jackson, "I wasn't the one driving that car but it's me who did that to Paddy."

"No!" This was exactly what Jackson had feared, Aaron turning it all back on himself. Blaming himself. "You've done nothing wrong," he insisted. "And Paddy would be the first to remind you of that."

"Too right," Chas piped up, there was only person responsible and that was Gordon Livesy!

Aaron glared at his mother; she'd no right listening in to a private conversation between him and Jackson! "Why are you still here?"

"What?" The question took Chas by surprise.

"Aaron don't!" Jackson warned.

"Well why is she here?" Aaron jumped to his feet, "She's nothing to Paddy?

Chas quickly stood up, ready to fight her corner, "I care about him too!"

Aaron rounded on his mother, "Yeah that's why you slept with another man while you were shacked up with him!"

"I never meant to hurt him." Chas protested, she was tired of going over the same old ground with her son, would he never forgive her?

"Well you did! You're the last person he'd want here. So go home."

Chas didn't believe that for one minute, she and Paddy were friends. They cared about each other just not in the way Aaron would like. She wanted to be here for Aaron knowing just how very close he was to her ex. But she was beginning to feel alienated. Marlon was angry with her, as usual Aaron wanted nothing to do with her and Jackson, well he'd not long put her in her place! He was obviously looking out for Aaron so maybe her son really didn't need her. Maybe it was best if she did go. Carl wouldn't like her staying anyway. Head held high she flounced to the door, stopping only to say, "Can one of you please let me know how he is?"

When the door closed Marlon glanced over his shoulder at Aaron, "Just so as you know, I'm not leaving until I know he's ok."

Aaron couldn't meet the older man's eyes, he knew Marlon still resented him for the beating he'd given Paddy. He probably resented him being there now, and he couldn't blame him, like his mother he'd caused Paddy a lot of grief.

As Aaron resumed his seat, Jackson pressed the cup of sweet tea into his hands. "It could be a long night, get that down you."

Aaron suddenly felt very guilty; he'd not given Jackson a second thought since he'd heard about Paddy. Just like Monday night he'd shut him out. It was getting late, maybe he wanted to go home. "You don't have to stay."

"I want to." Jackson insisted, there was no way he was leaving Aaron now.

The dark brown eyes were staring intently into his, and Aaron realised just how much he wanted him to stay, how much he needed him to stay. He wasn't sure what it was between them, but it was definitely more than a physical attraction.

The knock on the door made them both start. A nurse entered the room and they both got to their feet and moved towards her, Marlon stepping over to stand alongside them.

The nurse's gaze moved between the three men, "Mr Patrick Kirk's next of kin?"

"Me!" Aaron replied, ok so they weren't blood family but they were family all the same!

"Please, take a seat."

'Take a seat!' Aaron repeated silently to himself, didn't they say that to people when they were about to deliver bad news?"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Face to Face

Part 12

The Accident and Emergency Sister had tried to prepare him. She had warned him about the bruising and the dressings. She had patiently explained about the tubes, wires and the machines that bleeped endlessly. She had explained about the blood and the other fluids that would be dripping slowly into Paddy's arm. And she had done her best to reassure him about the injury that had almost claimed his life. That could still claim his life.

But as he'd entered the Intensive Care Unit he had had to fight the urge to run. As a nurse led him and Marlon to Paddy's bedside he'd had to force his feet forward, every step an effort. And when he finally set eyes on Paddy, all he'd wanted to do was shout, 'No!' And tell them that they had made a mistake. That it wasn't Paddy laying there so still and so very ill.

Marlon had wrapped his arm around his shoulders, steadying him, comforting him. He understood how much it hurt to see Paddy like that because he loved him too.

Then Marlon was gone, the place an all too painful reminder of what he had already lost. But he hadn't been alone for long, Jackson was beside him in minutes. Sitting him down, Saying all the right things. All the things he needed to hear. Helping him find the strength to get through the nightmare that lay ahead.

The nurse had encouraged him to talk to Paddy, to let him know he was there. He'd felt foolish, especially with an audience but the more he did it the easy it got. There were some things he couldn't say, no matter how much he wanted to. So he'd promised himself he would tell him when he was better, face to face, man to man.

That had been twelve long hours ago. And with the morning had come a meeting with the doctors, an update on Paddy's condition. Although they had managed to repair the tear in Paddy's liver they had feared that should it start to bleed again, they would not be as successful a second time. But with all tests indicating things were going well they had decided to reduce the sedation, and allow him to come round. He would be on enforced bed rest for a few days but would hopefully over a period of months gradually return to his previous rude health. But Aaron wasn't going to let himself believe it just yet, not until he saw the Paddy he knew laying in that bed.

While the nursing staff were doing some procedure or other he and Jackson had left the unit and made their way to its Family Room. It was bigger than the Relatives Room downstairs, it contained more chairs and even a pull-out bed and of course a drinks machine. There were also shower and toilet facilities for those spending endless days and nights there.

The room was for once empty. While Jackson phoned a close friend, Aaron phoned Marlon, filling him in on what the doctor had said. He'd been walking Clyde at the time and had told Aaron he was keeping him at his place. He'd promised to pass on the good news to all concerned and that he'd be in just as soon as he could. Then as Aaron was tucking his phone back into his pocket, Jackson had given him a stern look.

"Hey, not so quick."

"What?"

"Phone your mum."

"Marlon will."

"You should do it!"

"No!"

Jackson stepped closer to Aaron, "Would it hurt you to make an effort where she's concerned?"

Aaron wanted to say yes! Yes it would because she'd let him down so many times he couldn't trust her not to do it again, but instead he just snapped, "Why? What's it to you anyway?"

Leaning in closer, deliberately invading Aaron's personal space Jackson asked in a challenging tone, "Don't you know by now?"

Of course he knew! But how did he convince Jackson of that now?

The kiss had been long and tender, a warm and gentle exchange of truths. Aaron had reluctantly pulled away and just like the first time unconsciously licked his lips.

A slow satisfied smile crept across Jackson's face, "I guess you do!"

Marlon had arrived with clean clothes for Aaron and some of Paddy's things. With Paddy still sleeping Aaron had taken a quick shower While Jackson took his turn in the shower, Aaron hurried back to the ICU, disappointed to find Paddy was still showing no signs of opening his eyes.

Marlon waited until Jackson returned and then left for work. Half an hour later Paddy finally began to stir.

The nurse had said he would be groggy and maybe even a little confused at first and she'd been right! But even though Paddy wasn't making much sense Aaron was overjoyed to hear his voice.

The doctor blamed the confusion on the drugs Paddy was having but assured Aaron that it would pass. And it did but not until late that evening. He'd slept for an hour and when he opened his eyes this time they actually focused on Aaron's face.

"Hey feller!"

"Paddy! How you doing pal?" Aaron gripped the older man's hand and squeezed it tightly.

The older man looked around him, at the monitor and drips, "Is it as bad as it looks?"

"No!" Aaron forced a smile. "You're on the mend. You'll be home before you know it."

"To a sink full of dirty dishes no doubt!"

"No!" Aaron knew Paddy was teasing but then he had been guilty many times of that very crime.

Paddy's gaze travelled to Jackson, "I'm still trying to house train him!"

"Teenagers!" Jackson grinned

Paddy rolled his eyes, "Yes, the terrible teens!"

"Alright I get the message." Aaron laughed, the Paddy he knew and loved was back!

"You..." Paddy gestured with his finger at Aaron, "...look exhausted, it's time you went home."

"No!" Aaron was having none of that.

"How longs he been here?"

"All night and all day." Jackson said ignoring the warning look from Aaron.

"You'll take him home?"

"Paddy!"

"Please Aaron; for once will you just do as I say."

"No, not yet..."

"Now Aaron! I'm fine but you won't be if you don't get some rest."

"Alright." Aaron reluctantly got to his feet, "But I'll be back first thing tomorrow."

"I'll be here"

"You better had be!" A little wary of the tubes and wires, Aaron leaned in to hug Paddy. As the older man wrapped his one free arm around him, Aaron remembered his promise. His voice thick with emotion he looked Paddy in the eye and said what he knew to be long overdue, "I love you."

It was gone eleven when Jackson pulled up outside Smithy Cottage. He was more than a little relieved to finally switch off the engine, his eyes burned with fatigue and he'd been worried about falling asleep at the wheel.

He'd have a coffee and then drive home unless...no maybe not he didn't want Aaron to think he was making a move he wasn't ready for!

"I'll just check every where's locked up." Aaron said as he walked through the cottage into the surgery. It was something Paddy did every night, regular as clockwork. In all the time he'd been there he'd never once offered to do it. There were a lot of things he hadn't done for Paddy. He'd make more of an effort when he came home.

He found Jackson in the kitchen, making two coffees.

"I'll have this and then I'll be off."

"No!" Aaron responded just a little too quickly for his own liking. "Stay the night, there's plenty of room."

"The sofa will do me."

"No, you can't sleep there; you can have my bed,"

"Your bed?" Jackson asked suggestively, he just couldn't resist teasing the younger man.

Aaron tried to hide his discomfort, "Yeah. I'll go to Paddy's!"

"Sounds like a plan" Jackson grinned, handing Aaron his coffee he said, "Lead the way."

They were all too soon standing outside Aaron's room, he'd never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He motioned to the door, "In there."

"Right!" Jackson remained where he was, "And you'll be?"

"Just there!"

"Right. Good night then."

"Yeah, good night." Aaron squirmed realising just how pathetic he was being.

Taking a step nearer to Aaron, Jackson leant in for a kiss, the kiss quickly deepening. Aaron pulled away, scared it would lead to something more.

"It's ok," Jackson soothed, as much as he wanted Aaron he knew he couldn't rush him, and considering the circumstances it wasn't really the time.

An hour later Aaron was still awake. Tossing, turning and willing his rebellious thoughts to let him be.

He couldn't forget Paddy was lying in a hospital bed, and he couldn't forget about the man asleep in his bed, just across the hallway!

Rolling onto his side he stared through the open doorway. Throwing back the duvet he got out of bed and after a few minutes more contemplation stepped out of the room.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Face to Face

Part 13

He'd been so tired driving here, but now lying in bed, with nothing to do but sleep, he was wide awake. He could blame the coffee he supposed but knew he'd be lying to himself and he didn't do that anymore. No, the one and only reason for his wakefulness was mere yards away. Jackson suspected he was awake too; either that or he was a very restless sleeper. Maybe one day soon he'd find out!

The house was so quiet! Too bloody quiet! There were no distractions, no neighbours arguing, no headboards banging against his wall. Outside was equally as dead! No late night traffic, no drunks singing to the moon. If he was in his own bed, in his own flat he'd have all those things to help take his mind off Aaron!

He was tempted to go downstairs and make another coffee but then he'd have even less chance of ever dropping off. And he really needed to get some sleep. Aaron wanted to be back at the hospital first thing and he intended driving him there. He wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even if it was at a hospital bedside. Not that he grudged being there, not at all. He hadn't known Paddy very long but he genuinely liked the man and not just because he'd taken Aaron under his wing and been a much needed father to him. No Paddy was a good man; he'd make a good friend.

Thank God he was on the road to recovery. Jackson didn't want to think how Aaron would have reacted if Paddy had died, especially as a result of something his father had done. He'd not mentioned the man since last night but Jackson knew he was at the back of his mind. He had to be. Hopefully the law would run its course and dole out a just punishment. One that Aaron could live with.

Had he just heard something? Was there someone outside his door? Was it Aaron or did he have a bad case of wishful thinking? No... it was definitely Aaron! "You ok?"

Aaron started violently; he'd thought Jackson was asleep but obviously not! "Yeah! Just ...just..." Just what? He couldn't think of an excuse! "...getting a glass of water."

Yeah right! Jackson thought, he sounded as guilty as hell. "Could you get me one, please?"

"Yeah, be right back." Shit! Now he'd have to go into the room! He had planned on going in there but then he'd lost his nerve and was on his way back to bed when Jackson had heard him.

He deliberately took his time filling each glass with water, then he took his time going up the stairs, but there was no delaying the inevitable and he stepped tentatively into his room.

The bedside light was now on, and his room had its familiar cosy glow. But that wasn't the only thing making his room so appealing. He'd tried not to look at Jackson but so far he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off him. The fact he was half naked didn't help of course. He could be completely naked for all Aaron knew but the duvet was preventing him finding that out.

Jackson was sitting upright, leaning back against the headboard. He looked comfortable and relaxed, almost like he belonged there. There was a confidence about him Aaron envied; especially the way he was so at ease with his sexuality. Jackson had said everyone went through the same fears and the confusion, that it was hard for everyone, that it had been hard for him too. But looking at him now it was hard to believe he'd ever been as scared or as naïve as him.

He hadn't realised he'd been staring so hard until Jackson held out his hand for the glass.

"Thanks."

Aaron was aware now that Jackson was looking at him, and of just how he was looking at him. Out of nowhere he was hit by a disconcerting mix of excitement and near panic. He wanted to run equally as much as he wanted to stay. No! No he wanted to stay more!

This was torture! How was he supposed to look at the toned muscular body in front of him and not openly drool or show some sign of appreciation? If he didn't know Aaron's story he'd swear he was deliberately tormenting him. But he did know it and knew he was tormented too. If he cared about Aaron as much as he now believed he did, he wouldn't be putting him under any pressure and certainly not be putting him in a situation where he would feel threatened. Sipping on his water he looked Aaron in the eye and said, "You worrying about Paddy? Is that why you can't sleep?

Relieved another uncomfortable moment had passed Aaron said, "Yeah." Well he was, he was still scared something could go wrong. He regretted not staying at the hospital; he knew Paddy wouldn't have left him. But he hadn't wanted to argue with the older man last night.

"He'll be fine. The doctors said the first twelve hours were the most crucial and he's way past that."

"Yeah I know."

When Aaron turned around and walked over to the window, Jackson asked, "Is there something else on your mind? "

Staring down at the road below Aaron said, "Why'd you think he did it?"

"Your dad?"

"Yeah?"

Jackson shrugged; he really didn't have a clue but knew Aaron expected some kind of answer, "He was drunk, irrational! When you're not in control you say and do things you wouldn't normally."

"I don't remember seeing him drunk before, except the other night! Twice in one week there has to be a reason."

"And you think you're the reason?"

Turning around Aaron said quietly, "What else would it be? Maybe he came looking for me; maybe he thought he could knock being gay out of me."

Jackson suddenly sat bolt upright, "Was he violent towards you before?"

"No."

"Jackson wasn't convinced, "Aaron?"

"No he wasn't."

Jackson didn't believe it, Aaron couldn't look him in the eye. But thinking it best to move the conversation on he said, "It's in police hands now, and they'll be wanting answers too. Whatever the reason Aaron, you are going to have to accept it wasn't your fault. For your sake. For Paddy's and for everyone else who cares about you."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I don't want it eating me up inside. I want to forget it and put it behind me and be..."

"And be what?"

"Happy! At ease with myself like you are. And I want to be with you but..."

Jackson liked where this conversation was going, Aaron sharing more of what was going on in his head. He wasn't about to let him stop now, "But?"

When all the response he got was a shake of Aaron's head, Jackson gestured to the side of the bed, "I won't bite!"

Despite himself Aaron grined, then sat alongside Jackson, finding himself comforted and not scared by his nearness. "Sorry!"

"What for?"

"For everything. For all the things I've said, done! For dragging you into my mad, complicated world. For being so difficult to like and impossible to...to..."

"To what...love?" Gripping Aaron's arm firmly Jackson said, That's a hard word for you to say isn't Aaron? It makes you feel vulnerable and weak. But it shouldn't do because love is what gives people strength. It's what gets them through the dark times. And you're wrong you know! It's very easy to like you and I'm sure it will be easy to love you too, but only if you'll let me."

Jackson watched the storm of emotions play in the younger man's eyes. Releasing his grip on Aaron's arm he moved his hand up to Aaron's face and gently wiped away the tear coursing down his cheek.

He felt Aaron's hand grip his, then felt his lips against his mouth. As much as he wanted to he couldn't respond as they moved hungrily over his lips, or when his tongue demanded entry.

He pulled away, holding Aaron at arm's length. Ignoring the confusion in the blue eyes he said, "No, not now, we both know you're not ready. Shifting over to the other side of the bed he tossed back the duvet, "Sometimes all you need is the closeness, to just hold someone in your arms and feel their warmth!"

Jackson held his breath as Aaron got to his feet and switched off the light. Only letting the breath out when Aaron got in bed beside him.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Face to Face

Part 14

Aaron was trembling uncontrollably, but as Jackson wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close to his chest, he closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. He rested his head against the older man's shoulder, nestling his forehead against his neck. Snuggling in still closer as the tension left his body and a sense of peace settled over him.

He could feel Jackson's chest rise and fall beneath his hand. He could hear his heart beating and allowed its steady rhythm to lull him to sleep.

Jackson smiled to himself. Content for now just to hold Aaron close. It had to be one step at a time. Aaron had to feel safe with him, he had to trust him and the way he'd slowly melted in his arms, and had accepted some intimacy told him he was getting there.

He turned a little more onto his back gently easing Aaron over with him. He didn't want to wake him, he needed to sleep, they both did. But he was still on too much of a high.

This time last week he'd been lying awake in his own bed. Aaron very much on his mind. He hadn't known what to do. Follow his heart or his head? But he'd gone on to make the right choice; he knew that for certain now.

It had been one hell of a week, but he was certain things would begin to settle down now. And Aaron was more and more willing to talk, to express his hurt and anger in words rather than with displays of temper. He now knew how to talk him down, gently and firmly, letting him know that he cared.

And he did care, very much.

Yawning, Jackson felt his eyelids drift shut, exhaustion finally winning out.  
/

Aaron didn't know where he was at first; all he knew was that he wasn't alone, that Jackson was wrapped around him. He nuzzled his face against the older man's throat, the hair there teasing and tickling his skin. Pleased with that sensation he then inhaled his scent, the heady musky aroma of male flesh. His senses instantly came alive, a need burned inside and he felt his heart begin to race. Slowly he began to untangle himself, easing their bodies apart just enough so as to allow himself more freedom to explore.

Trailing gentle kisses across Jackson's chest he let his hand slide up to his shoulder, steadying himself and holding Jackson exactly where he wanted him. He felt him stir beside him, heard a soft sigh escape his lips. He wasn't awake yet but he soon would be and he would be ready for him.

Parting his lips Aaron let his tongue seek out a nipple, licking and patting the tiny nub before covering it with his mouth and sucking it softly. As Jackson moaned, awareness now creeping stealthily upon him Aaron moved his hand down to the taut skin of his stomach, caressing the area in leisurely circles. As his teeth began to punish the hardened nipple he trailed his fingers lower and lower until they were entangled in a soft bed of curls.

"Aaron!"

The sleepy voice excited Aaron further and he reached lower gently taking the already hardening mass in his hand. But as he closed his eager fingers around its almost rigid length he felt Jackson's hand on his wrist.

"No!"

Lifting his head and moving upwards until his face was but an inch away from Jackson's he whispered, "Yes." Claiming his mouth for his own, he kissed him slowly, gently, letting him know he was ready, that it was what he wanted. He felt Jacksons lips soften, and then move with his own, before finally parting his with a swift sweep of his invading tongue. Jackson's hand then tightened its grip around his, and gently pulled it away from his fully erect manhood.

"Not yet!" Jackson whispered into Aaron's mouth.

Aaron was more than happy to bow down to experience but he wasn't just going to lay there and let Jackson take the lead. He wanted to excite him, please him, and reward his patience. So with both hands now pressed against the older man's chest Aaron pushed him over onto his back, leaning over to again cover his mouth. The kiss not so gentle this time. As he increased the pressure further Jacksons tongue again sought his, brutally insistent in its demand for entrance. As he sucked and batted it gently with his own he heard the older man moan. Then he teased it back into Jackson's mouth do to some exploring of his own.

After conquering Jackson's mouth he trailed kisses along his jaw line. The rasping of his beard against his lips serving to excite him even more.

He could feel Jackson's hands on him, one around his back, pressing him closer, the other tugging at his boxers, only to seconds later impatiently slip underneath the cotton to squeeze and caress the rounded flesh there.

If Jackson wanted them off then off the boxers came! Aaron rolled onto his back and carefully wrestled them over his erection then quickly down his legs, kicking them over to the corner of the room.

Only then did he realise Jackson was now in the dominant position, in seconds he had straddled him, his hips hovering above his own. Jackson took hold of his hands and pushed them upwards and backwards before lowering himself down until their bodies touched, their erections colliding exquisitely.

'My turn', Jackson thought as he took possession of Aaron's lips, ravaging his mouth with his tongue before showing him a little mercy and turning his attention back to his lips, nibbling and sucking his way around them.

He liked the feel of Aaron beneath him, the hardness of his manhood against his belly. Aaron was gripping his shoulders now, his fingers digging into his flesh as passion began to soar.

Jackson slowly pulled away silencing Aaron's protests with a savage kiss. He moved onto his side, pulling a now compliant Aaron onto his too. He guiding him backwards, fitting his so very desirable arse between his hips and letting his rock hard length strain between them.

As he dropped gentle kisses on Aaron's shoulder he let his hand glide over his now damp with sweat skin. He felt Aaron quiver as his hand moved over his hips then down to his erection.

As his fingers caressed its length he heard Aaron sigh and felt him shudder in pleasure. The younger man's hand covered his, sharing in the blissful contact.

"You like that?" Jackson whispered in his lover's ear, he could think of him in that now because some time very soon he was going to make him his.

Aaron groaned and tilted his head backwards offering Jackson access to his neck.

Jackson took the bait readily, as his hand worked on Aaron's member; he sucked and nibbled at his throat.

With Aaron almost ready to explode he released him reassuring him it wouldn't be for long. He dipped his fingers into his own wetness, before gently parting Aaron's buttocks and gently fingering his so very enticing hole. Aaron tensed and so Jackson soothed him with words and gentle kisses before again moistening his fingers. This time he pushed against the rim and through the resistance, gently probing with one finger. Again the younger man tensed and again he let his mouth sooth and reassure. Two fingers now, and not so gentle a probe. He hadn't been so eager to withdraw this time. It felt so good to be inside Aaron and he seemed fairly at ease so he moved his hand to his own throbbing mass, working it until he had to stop for fear of climaxing too soon.

Then taking Aaron's member in his hand he started to pump him again, slowly at first but as he began to moan and writhe he increased his momentum. Whispering in Aaron's ear, telling him what he was about to do. Using all the dirty words he knew, words he knew would excite still further and help lessen the pain.

Finally Aaron bucked and groaned in the throes of completion, cum spilling in and over Jacksons waiting hand. The older man rubbed the warm fluid around his own pulsating length. Then before Aaron had fully regained his senses, Jackson rolled him over onto his belly, roughly pulling him up onto his knees to expose what he was about to claim.

Gripping Aaron's hips, he pressed his rock hard member against Aaron's entrance and ignoring the resistance pushed until its entire length was sheathed by him. He felt Aaron shudder and make a guttural moan.

Whispering reassurances he caressed Aaron's back, slipping one hand around to slowly milk what Aaron had left. He felt excitement again stir beneath him and when Aaron slowly moved back against him Jackson knew he was ready for more.

He'd wanted to take it slower but his need was so great now and his thrusts that had started off so gently grew increasingly urgent and brutal.

Aaron was taking each one, rocking back to meet him each and every time. Only when his senses exploded and he released inside the younger man did he feel Aaron sag beneath him. He withdrew quickly, turning Aaron onto his back, dominating his lips with his own and again working him to completion.

As Aaron convulsed beside him, moaning his ecstasy he pulled him close, into his arms and waited for him to still.

"Not so bad an experience then." Jackson teased softy.

"No." Aaron breathed against his lover's lips, emotion suddenly spilling out in tears down his cheeks. More flowing as Jackson tenderly kissed them away.

"It's ok." Jackson soothed. He waited until the tears stopped and then whispered, "And you know what? It gets even better."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Face to Face

Part 15

Jackson had been the first to wake. The dawn chorus rudely disturbing his slumber. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep, there was just too much daylight invading the room.

He had thicker curtains on his bedroom windows, they blocked out all light. His flat overlooked the high street, the only birds roosting there, pigeons. Thankfully they were nowhere near as vocal as Emmerdale's feathered inhabitants! He supposed he'd get used to them though, if he stayed over often enough!

They'd have more privacy in his flat, and he knew Aaron would be more at ease there. But the logistics could prove difficult on work days. Aaron really needed some transport of his own.

Jackson laughed quietly to himself, it seemed he couldn't think ahead anymore without Aaron being a part of his plans!

The younger man shifted in his arms, turning towards him, allowing Jackson clear view of his face. He didn't look his eighteen years now, not when his features were softened by sleep. But all too soon he'd wake up and a wariness for the world around him would creep into his eyes. His face would harden, warning everyone to keep their distance, to not mess with him.

Jackson knew only too well the reasons Aaron had built those walls around him, but at least now he was beginning to take them down.

With Aaron showing more signs of waking Jackson began to wonder how he'd feel about last night. Would he have any regrets? No! Jackson didn't believe he would.

As the blue eyes finally flickered open, Jackson smiled down at them, "Hi!"

Aaron smiled back but as he moved trying to get still closer to the older man, he heard himself wince, certain sore and stiff areas suddenly making themselves known.

Jackson's smile faded, he knew he'd been none too gentle, he could have made it easier for Aaron but at the time and considering the way he'd been woken up well, he had just gone with the moment. He knew Aaron wouldn't want any fuss made so he said, "Why don't you take a shower. I'll make us a drink."

"That sounds like a good idea." Aaron replied leaning in to kiss the older man gently on the lips, the kiss deepening just a little before he pulled away and got out of bed. He could sense the older man's eyes on him and realised that that kind of hunger didn't scare him anymore.

Turning around so the older man got even more of an eyeful he slowly stepped out of the room.

Aaron might be in need of a hot shower but Jackson was suddenly in need of a cold one. He quickly got out of bed and after carefully pulling on his boxers, ran down stairs to the kitchen.

/

Aaron had decided to phone the hospital and check on Paddy before he did anything about his aches and pains. Retrieving his clothes from the older man's room, he searched through his pockets until he found the number the nurse had given him.

The night staff were still on duty and told him that Paddy had had a good night's rest and was doing well. He'd needed that reassurance badly. He was feeling more than a little guilty this morning, having forgotten all about the older man once he'd got into bed with Jackson.

A contented smile settled on his lips. He couldn't quite believe what he'd done, what they had done!

Not so long ago the thought of being with another man disgusted him. He'd told Paddy in one anger fuelled rant that he didn't want people looking at him like he was some kind of pervert, "like I do 'that' with other men!"

'That' The word he'd so hatefully used to describe the sex act. He'd said it with such revulsion. The very thought of it made him want to vomit at the time.

But one kiss from Jackson and all that changed. His disgust quickly turning to curiosity and then to a fear filled need.

When he'd woken in the early hours, felt Jackson's arms around him, his body next to his, it had all felt so right. He was no longer scared. A hunger burned inside and he knew there was only one way to satisfy it.

Jackson had satisfied that hunger and in doing so had given him back his life.

Moving to the bathroom Aaron stared into the shaving mirror. He'd always hated what he saw reflected there before. But not this morning. The face looking back at him didn't disgust him anymore.

Catching sight of the love bite on his neck, he fingered it pensively. Jackson had left his mark on him in more ways than one.

/

Jackson had switched the radio on and was singing along with Plan B as he slapped margarine over several slices of toast. He was just about to take it up to Aaron when he heard a knock on the front door. He didn't think twice about answering it but when he opened the door he instantly wished he hadn't.

Chas Dingle was standing there looking his half naked form up and down. "Hi" He said sounding a lot more composed than he felt. Well he had just slept with her son!

"Hiya ." Chas forced a smile, she couldn't quite hide her discomfort, lord knows what Jackson thought about her! "I saw the car; I thought it might be yours. I just wanted to see how Aaron was?"

"He's in the shower; he won't be long if you want to come in and ..."

"No, no I uh..." Chas had a sudden urge to explain herself. Jackson had witnessed Aaron's feelings towards her, but he didn't know hers for her son, "We're not that close me and him and that's my fault I know. But I do care about him and I do love him whatever you might think."

"I know you do. He loves you too...whatever you might think!" Jackson knew Aaron and his mother had a lot of bridges to build, if he could help them out, he would.

Chas smiled, she'd really needed to hear that. Paddy had been right about this young man. "Thanks!"

"Jackson?"

Hearing her son's voice Chas stepped away from the door, "I'll let you go, but I'll see you again?"

"Yeah," Jackson nodded, feeling quite confident about that. He waited until Chas has turned around then closed the door. A towel clad Aaron was now standing at the top of the stairs, eyeing him questioningly.

"Who was that?"

"Your mum."

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to know if I'd had my wicked way with you!" Jackson teased.

"Yeah right!" Aaron grinned, although he wouldn't put it past his mother to come right out and ask Jackson that. It wouldn't be the first time she'd opened her gob before her brain was in gear! "Can I smell toast?"

"You can." Jackson said as he headed back to the kitchen.

Half an hour later the two young men were stepping through the front door, on the way to the hospital.

It had been dark when they'd got home last night. But now as he looked at the area outside the house Aaron could see where the police accident team had marked the road, he could also see tyre marks on the grass, it was all too plain where Paddy had been hit by the car. He felt his stomach roll and had to look away.

Jackson hadn't missed Aaron's reaction and quickly steered him over to his car. He was about to move off when Aaron said, "Wait" The older man put his foot on the brake and eyed the younger man expectantly.

"That wasn't there last night! Was it?"

Jackson looked in the direction Aaron was pointing. "I don't remember seeing it."

Aaron was now getting out the car and walking over to the object that had caught his attention. Jackson deciding he had no option but to follow.

The younger man nodded appreciatively, that was one cool car! So what was it doing in Paddy's drive?

"Whose is it?" Jackson asked noting Aaron's obvious interest.

Aaron shook his head, "No idea," he looked around the village to see if he could see anyone who might now, the place was deserted so for now at least it was just going to have to remain a mystery.

/

"You're looking better this morning!" Paddy said as Aaron sat down beside him.

Aaron rolled his eyes, "You're the one who's sick!"

"Are you alright for money? Have you got enough food in? I could ask Pearl to do a shop..."

"Paddy!" Aaron stared incredulously at the older man; here he was lying in Intensive Care worrying about him! "I'm fine. Please, for once will you stop worrying about me and think about yourself!"

Paddy smiled, moved by the young man's show of concern. "You're ok then?"

"Yes!" Aaron insisted.

"No Jackson this morning?"

"He just dropped me off, he's gone home to change but he'll be back."

"He stayed the night then?" Paddy asked quietly.

It sounded an innocent enough question but Aaron knew what Paddy was really getting at. He forced himself to maintain eye contact with the older man, although he couldn't stop the colour rushing to his cheeks. "Yeah."

Aaron's reaction confirmed Paddy's suspicions, but it didn't stop his concern. A very private personal matter it might be. But, after everything Aaron had shared with him. After what Aaron had tried to do. Paddy knew he wouldn't be doing right by the lad if he didn't make sure he had no regerts about taking such a momentous step, "And you're ok with it?"

Aaron thought he should be squirming right about now but he knew Paddy was asking him out of genuine concern, out of love for him and so, if he needed some reassurance, then the least he could do for the man who'd done so very much for him, was to give him some. So he smiled and said "Yeah,"

Paddy searched for any doubt in the younger man's eyes, seeing none he nodded and playfully punched the younger man in the arm, "Good!" Moving swiftly on he said, "How's Clyde?"

"He's moved in with Marlon. He fancied a change of scene!"

"He'll be back! He'll miss all the scraps he gets at our house."

Paddy's comment reminded Aaron about the car parked in their drive." Do you know who owns a blue Peugeot...?"

"Yes," Paddy grinned, he'd been looking forward to this moment, "I know who owns it!"

"Who?"

"You!"

"Me?"

Paddy nodded enthusiastically.

"You got me a car?"

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Sexually explicit chapter but its not essential to story line if you would prefer not to read.

Face to Face

Part 16

He had taken a shower and had towelled himself dry in Aaron's room. Aaron had slipped out to see his uncle; he wanted to tell him he wouldn't be in for work the next day. By the time Aaron got back Jackson was in bed, but sleep was the furthest thing from his mind.

He heard Aaron in the bathroom, heard the shower running and was tempted to join the younger man amidst the steam. But deciding that that would be a great way to start a Monday morning he shifted to the side of the single bed, readying it for when Aaron joined him.

Ten minutes later, a towel wrapped around his waist, Aaron finally stepped into the room.

"Mmmmm!" With Aaron's hair, face, muscular arms and torso dripping with water, Jackson couldn't help but show his appreciation.

Aaron grinned, enjoying the attention. He removed the towel and began to slowly pat away the moisture. He was well aware that Jackson was ogling him. The brown eyes drinking in every inch of his bare flesh. His lips were parted, so too his teeth, the tip of his tongue just visible. Aaron knew what he was hungry for but he wasn't going to give it to him just yet! He turned around, and started rubbing the towel over his hair. He couldn't see Jackson's face now but he knew where his eyes would be focused.

Dropping the towel he slowly turned around and made his way over to the bed.

Aaron's teasing had inflamed Jackson's already burning desire. So when the young man was within reach he roughly pulled him in beside him and wrestled him onto his back. Then after pinning him to the bed with his upper body clasped his face between his hands and savagely claimed his mouth.

The kiss had been deep and demanding, leaving Aaron breathless by the time Jackson's attention moved down to his throat. As the older man sucked and bit the already bruised flesh Aaron moaned his approval. He was in no doubt of who was in charge right now, and was content to let Jackson pleasure them both.

Jackson's mouth was slowly working its way down to his shoulder or he thought it was when he suddenly found himself being flipped over onto his front.

He felt Jacksons weight cover him, and then his warm breath on his neck. Then Jackson's weight shifted downwards, and he dropped gentle kisses along the length of his spine. Aaron next felt the older man's fingers caressing his lower back before slipping lower to knead the firm mound of each cheek in turn. Suddenly the contact was broken but before he could protest he was being rolled onto his back.

Jackson's tongue was soon forcing its way through his lips, his hand caressing his inner thigh.

Aaron groaned when Jackson's fingers wrapped around his sac, the gentle pressure almost too much to bear.

His erection was painfully in need of attention now but Jackson seemed determined to ignore it and swallowed all his protests with a brutal kiss. Just when he thought he'd go mad he felt Jackson's fingers feather soft on his length, he gasped and when the older man's hand finally tightened around his now throbbing member he bucked and groaned his bliss.

When he quietened a little, Jackson whispered his next intention in his ear and Aaron held his breath in anticipation.

As Jacksons tongue licked away at his wetness he felt himself shudder. He writhed helplessly as his tongue then explored the satin soft tip. When Jackson finally took him into his mouth he shuddered violently. As Jackson roughly worked him with his mouth Aaron felt the pressure quickly build deep inside, and just before he convulsed, he felt Jackson's mouth on his, swallowing his moans of ecstasy as his hand milked him dry.

When he opened his eyes, Jackson was smiling down at him in that self satisfied way of his, the way he'd done after kissing him for the first time.

Aaron could only smile back, feeling too drained to do anything else. But once his body had recovered enough he was going to make him as helpless as he was right now.

"Lightweight!" Jackson teased, laughing at the mock indignation that then settled on Aaron's face. He leant in to kiss it away only to find himself being flipped over onto his back.

"I'm going to make you eat your words!" Aaron promised before straddling the older man and leaning down to cover his mouth with his own.

He sucked leisurely on Jackson's tongue, before nipping gently at his lower lip. Then he licked his way up to Jackson's ear, curling it in and around its orifice before nibbling at the lobe.

Then he licked and nipped his way down to Jackson's chest hearing a rumble of pleasure erupt from his throat.

He sucked on one hardening nipple while he rubbed the other tiny nub between his finger and thumb.

With Jackson moaning beneath him he trailed his tongue to the flat of his stomach, gently nipping around the edge of his belly button before exploring it with his tongue.

He followed the treasure trail with his lips, lower and lower until Jacksons erection was straining against his throat. He lowered his head just enough to take it between his lips his tongue lapping at its leakage.

Now it was Jackson writhing beneath him, his member demanding attention. He rocked his head back and forward, slowly, deliberately teasing the older man. But not for too long, as Jackson groaned his need he began to truly satisfy it.

As Jackson neared climax he pulled away, his hand quickly replacing his mouth as he shifted upwards. He wanted to watch the ecstasy play across his lover's face.

Now it was his turn to gloat!

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Face to Face

Part 17

"All you need now is insurance...and your licence!" Jackson teased; Aaron wasn't going to get very far without that.

"No problem." Aaron stated confidently as he stared at what was now his most prized possession. He still couldn't believe it was his. He'd offered to pay Paddy back, bit by bit but the older man would have none of it.

Paddy had been quick to point out that it needed some work doing on it, there were a few scratches, and one or two dents put there by the careless previous owner. The engine needed tinkering with too but there was nothing wrong with it that Aaron couldn't fix himself.

Jackson had to smile at the loving look the teen was giving his car; it seemed he now had a rival for his affections.

Hearing the house phone ringing, Aaron made to go inside, "See you later."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Jackson asked as he unlocked the door of his work van.

Aaron shrugged, "Like what?"

"A goodbye kiss!"

Aaron's eyes widened in alarm, was Jackson serious? It was hard to tell sometimes, he loved winding him up. He looked down at village; it was beginning to come to life. Edna Birch was just coming out of the shop. He didn't want to be responsible for her choking to death on a toffee!

"Scared somebody might see?" Jackson grinned wickedly.

"Yes!" Aaron snapped.

Jackson couldn't help but laugh at Aaron's discomfort, "Ok I'll let you off this time!" As Aaron sneered back at him he stepped closer to him saying, "Or maybe not!"

Aaron backed away, "Jackson!"

Jackson laughed again, "When you go to the hospital after, ask if they do sense of humour transplants!"

Aaron ignored the comment, it was alright for Jackson. He was so easy going nothing seemed to bother him. He wished he could be more like him but that was never going to happen.

Jackson got into his van and after opening his window said with a playful wink, "See you tonight!"

"Yeah." Aaron grinned back despite himself

As Jackson drove away, Aaron ran inside to answer the still ringing phone.

"Paddy?..... No I wasn't still in bed!.... That's good news! What times visiting hours there?.... Why?.....Well I can still come.... Alright I'll come tonight, see you then."

Aaron replaced the handset, mulling over what Paddy had just told him. He was being moved out of ICU and because the doctors were happy with his progress, they had given the police permission to take a statement from him. They were calling to see him at two. Then Paddy had said there was no point in him going for afternoon visiting, that the police wouldn't allow him in while they were interviewing him.

Aaron didn't believe that for one minute. He still didn't know what had happened the other night. Paddy hadn't mentioned it at all and he hadn't asked because he'd been scared that any kind of upset would affect the older man's recovery.

He'd done his best to push it to the back of his mind and between worrying about Paddy and spending time with Jackson he'd somehow managed to do just that. But he knew Paddy was protecting him from something. What exactly?

/

Paddy was relieved to be out of ICU, the high-tech medical equipment unnerved him. He still had several lines going into his arm and was being closely monitored but moving to a side room in a surgical ward was a step nearing to going home!

He checked his watch, ten to two. The police would arrive soon and..."Aaron!" Paddy's mouth gaped open as the young man walked into his room. "What you doing here?"

Plonking a bag of grapes down onto the bedside table Aaron said, "Making sure you get your five a day!"

"I told you not to come until tonight!" Paddy protested."

"Yeah I know you did.

"So why are you here?"

"Because you didn't tell me the real reason you don't want me here now."

"What do you mean?"

"You're keeping something from me."

"No!"

"Paddy! It's going to come out at some point, when it goes to court..."

"It won't go to court!"

"Of course it will! One; he was drink driving. Two; he run you over deliberately. Three: you almost died! They'll throw the book at him"

"No, not if I'm economical with the truth."

"Lie?" Aaron spat, shocked at what Paddy was seemingly prepared to do.

"Not lie exactly..." Paddy tried to reason.

"Why would you even want to?" Aaron demanded.

"Because..." Paddy said softly, "He's your father and I don't want to send him to jail!"

"He hates me Paddy and I don't give a toss about him! You can send him to hell for all I care."

"If that were true it wouldn't bother you what he thought about you. But it does, doesn't it?

"No. Not anymore!"

"I don't believe you."

"Believe what you like but don't lie for him! Not to the police!"

Aaron dropped into a chair and shook his head. He couldn't believe Paddy would do anything so stupid.

"Don't get too comfortable, you'll have to leave when they come."

Aaron wasn't going anywhere until he was told the truth, "Tell me what happened the other night."

Paddy shrank back in his chair, aware he had to tell the younger man something but unsure of just how much to tell him. "We had words, I threw him out and then I realised he was driving, I tried to stop him and...and fell in front of the car. It was an accident."

"You're lying!" Aaron snarled, hurt by Paddy's seemingly lack of trust in him.

"I'm not" Paddy insisted although he was appalled at just how easy the lies were now tripping off his tongue,

"Why won't you tell me?" Aaron implored the older man. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

Paddy shook his head, he couldn't bring himself to lie anymore, "I don't know and that's what worries me."

If Paddy was worried about him kicking off then it had to be something mega, in his eyes at least, "What did he want? What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter what he said."

Aaron leapt to his feet, "Alright! I'll go ask him myself!"

"Aaron." Paddy reached out grabbing the younger man tightly by the arm, "No don't. Please, just keep away from him!"

"Then tell me what happened?"

As Paddy pondered on how best to tell Aaron, a nurse knocked on his door and showed two plain clothed police officers into his room. As names were exchanged, one of the officers checked his notebook and looked at Aaron, "You are Gordon Livesy's son?"

"Not anymore!" Aaron replied coldly.

"We'll be needing to talk to you too at some point..."

"Why?" Paddy interrupted, "He wasn't involved." He wasn't even there."

"We'd still like to talk to him but we'll take a statement of events from you first Mr Kirk.

"I'm staying." Aaron declared eyeing the policemen defiantly.

"Is that alright with you Mr Kirk?"

It wasn't but Paddy nodded his agreement anyway, he knew Aaron was intent on staying. He could only hope he wouldn't react the way he feared he would.

Aaron sank into a chair alongside Paddy's bed. Listening intently as the older man began to detail the events of Friday night. He could see just how uncomfortable Paddy was and that his discomfort grew steadily worse as he talked. It was soon clear why when Paddy hesitantly told the officers what Livesy had accused him of. Hearing Paddy admit to punching the other man gave Aaron a little satisfaction, but not nearly enough.

His father was one sick bastard! No wonder Paddy hadn't wanted him to know. Aaron's skin crawled, and he suddenly felt dirty, much like Paddy must have felt that night. He looked at the older man; saw the strain on his face, the humiliation. Hadn't Paddy been through enough because of him?

This was all because he was gay. Because his father despised what he was, and for some reason needed someone to blame for him being that way. Like it was some disease he'd been exposed to and had caught.

The man's hateful intolerance was what had made it so hard for him to accept what he was. He'd fought against his feelings for years, had hated himself and kept people at a distance in case they found out his secret.

Then, just when things were starting to fall into place. When he was beginning to feel in control of his life. The bastard shows up and turns it all upside down again. His father had looked at him like he was the lowest form of life; he'd made it clear what he thought about him.

Aaron could live with that but not with what he'd said and done to Paddy. He was going to ram his filthy words back down his throat and make him regret what he'd done.

Cain had heard his father was out on bail, Aaron knew he wouldn't be too hard to find. Lurching to his feet he stalked from the room.

Paddy was already half out of his bed by the time the door closed behind Aaron. Once on his feet he started tearing at the tape securing the drip in his arm.

"I don't think you should be doing that." One of the police officers said as he got up from his chair to ring the nurse's call bell.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Face to Face

Part 18

Jackson had been in the middle of pricing a job when his mobile had rung. Paddy had been on the other end of the phone, at his wits end by the sound of it and desperate for someone Aaron trusted to find him and stop him doing something stupid.

Well it was too late for that. Marlon had seen him getting off the bus and then into his car! He'd already committed two offenses by simply driving off. If he was to assault his father on top of that then he'd be locked up for sure.

He had already driven over to Aaron's dad's house; there'd been no sign of Aaron's car and no answer at the door. So Paddy had then directed him to Livesy's office, he was still ten minutes or so away from there so if Aaron was there, the chances of him getting to the hothead before he did something he'd regret were just about nil.

All Paddy had told him was that Aaron was angry at his father and was missing. He could be anywhere, but you didn't need to be a rocket scientist to work out where he was most likely headed.

He'd wanted to deck the bastard himself last week and could understand Aaron wanting to do the same, especially after what he'd done to Paddy. But he had too much to lose. His freedom for one! And what would a prison sentence do to their relationship? What would it do to Aaron?

He'd tried ringing him, Paddy had too but he wasn't answering, well he was notoriously good at that! He'd texted Aaron while he was stuck at the last lot of traffic lights. Told him to ring Paddy and put his mind at rest. Had he forgotten just how ill the man had been?

Shit! Now he'd taken a wrong bloody turn. He was never going to get there at this rate!

/

The last time he'd been here he'd broken in and trashed the place. He'd done a good job of it too. His dad had turned up at his Uncle Zak's threatening him with the police but the Dingles had closed ranks and told Gordon Livesy they were all prepared to vouch for his whereabouts the night before. He'd been surprised at that. And at how his mother has defended him.

He'd not heard from the man again. There'd been no birthday cards, no Christmas presents, no nothing. He had another son to spend his money on now.

They'd been close at one time, him and his dad, when it was just the two of them. Then he'd met Sandra, and he'd been so busy chasing after her he'd forgot all about him. He moved the cow in, took her side every time there was an argument. She used to lie about him, say he'd done things when he hadn't. His father had believed her over him each time and when he'd got in his face about it, he'd hit him.

His father had never laid a finger on him before that. But having done it once he seemed to think he could do it again. Then he'd started getting into trouble and Sandra would be banging on at him, letting him know what a disappointment he was to his father. They got into this big argument and something just snapped inside and he'd hit her. Men didn't hit women, he knew that and he regretted it but there was no taking it back.

That was it as far as his father was concerned, the excuse he needed to throw him out.

His mother had taken him in, and he'd found himself living with a bunch of strangers, family he didn't know. He hadn't been there long when Chas took up with Paddy. Before he could turn around they were moving in with him. She wasn't with him long though, but long enough for Paddy to become important in his life.

Well he didn't have to break in this time, the door was open and he could hear his father on the phone. Laughing at something the other person had said. He wouldn't be laughing when he saw him walk in through the door.

/

At last! Now all he needed to do was find a parking space. Jackson didn't dare illegally park anywhere here. He couldn't risk being clamped in case he had to hunt Aaron down elsewhere.

'There's his car! And look how he's parked!' There was no danger of him getting his licence anytime soon. And certainly not in the next few years if he had laid into Gordon Livesy.

Now his phone was ringing again. "Paddy! Yes I'm there now and so is Aaron's car. Yeah, I'll ring you back ASAP."

/

"Sorry Phil, I'm going to have to get back to you!" Gordon Livesy said into the phone.

His father looked shocked to see him. He was obviously the last thing on his mind. No surprises there then.

Aaron could see where Paddy had punched him, the remnants of a bruise visible on the right side of his jaw.

"What do you want?"

His father sounded nervous, not half so cocky without a drink inside of him. Not that he'd needed a drink to turn nasty before. He must have read in the paper that his son was handy with his fists too.

So what did he want? Well when he'd first left the hospital his sole intention was to find his father and punch his lights out. But he'd been miles from any place his father was likely to be. He couldn't depend on a bus to chase him down. So he'd gone home and picked up his car. He was still angry then, still wanting to physically hurt him in some way.

His phone had been ringing constantly, he could have switched it off but he hadn't been able to. It was a reminder that he wasn't alone, that somebody cared about him, even if his father didn't. It wasn't until he'd pulled up outside his old house that he'd looked at the missed calls and full inbox message flashing on the screen. Paddy's and Jackson's names appeared over and over. He'd opened one text, the one from Jackson. He could tell he was angry with him.

He'd texted Paddy, told him not to worry that he was just trying to get his head sorted. Then he'd got out of the car and hammered on his father's door.

There'd been no answer there so he'd made his way here to his father's office. He'd sat in his car for a while; he wasn't so angry and was starting to think about what he was doing. If he was to get in any trouble while on community payback he knew he'd be sent to jail.

Paddy needed him, who was going to look after him if he was banged up? And Jackson, what about him? He wasn't going to wait around for him, now was he? Then there was his job at the garage, and his mum!

But as much as he'd reasoned with himself he had still got out the car and made his way here. He'd realised that there was something he had to do. Something he should have done long before now. It might have saved him and the people who loved him a lot of heartache if he had.

"I'm gay," Aaron finally said. His father had been under the pretence of looking at his computer screen but that statement seemed to have got his full attention. He was looking at Aaron now like he had grown another head. Suddenly the older man was on his feet, storming around his desk until he was close enough to backhand him across the face.

Aaron stumbled backwards, his hand going automatically to his cheek. He stared steadily back into his father's rage filled eyes. "I'm still gay!"

The next blow almost knocked him off his feet. But he quickly righted himself wanting to say what he had to say to his father face to face. He could taste blood now, feel it trickling from the side of his mouth, he wiped it away then said, "Nothing you say or do is going to change that."

He'd half expected his father to hit him again but instead the older man turned around and strode over to his desk, leaning over and resting his hands on it, head bowed and his back turned towards Aaron.

"Because of you and people like you, I tried to hide what I feel inside. You made me ashamed just to be me. But not anymore, and if you can't accept me the way I am, then that's your problem not mine."

He knew his father had heard him, and he'd hoped for some sort of response but there was nothing. He'd had his chance, "Stay out of my life and away from the people I care about."

Turning around he was surprised to see Jackson standing just the other side of the door. He was smiling at him, maybe he hadn't been angry with him after all? But as he registered the signs of violence on his face, Jackson's smile quickly disappeared. The next thing Aaron knew he was lunging past him, trying to get to his father.

"No! Aaron said as he gripped Jackson's arm, "Like I said before, he's not worth it."

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Face to Face

Part 19

Jackson had been certain that Aaron's father would need scraping off the floor. But he couldn't have been more wrong. Aaron had been the one left bruised and bloody. He'd been too late to prevent that but he had witnessed the young man calmly lay a ghost to rest. Relief then a sense of pride had flooded through him, only for it to be seconds later swamped by anger when he'd seen the young man's face.

Aaron had had to haul him outside. Calm him down! He never lost his temper. But twice now when Aaron had been the victim of his own father's hateful prejudice he'd lost control. What did that tell him? Well nothing he didn't already know. That he truly did care about Aaron.

He'd tried to rein in his emotions and told himself to focus on Aaron, that he probably wasn't as calm as he seemed. But that didn't seem to be the case. The teenager now had his car keys in his hand and was sauntering towards it like nothing had happened. Catching hold of Aaron's arm he jerked him around to face him, "No way are you driving it home!"

"But ..." Aaron started to protest.

Snatching the keys from Aaron, Jackson gestured to his van and snapped, "Get in."

Aaron reluctantly did as he'd been told, and waited for the bollocking he felt certain was coming his way. He sat silently as Jackson edged the van onto the busy main road. As they weaved their way through the rush hour traffic Aaron thought it best to keep quiet but once they were out of town and travelling down a quiet country road he said, "Alright, I shouldn't have taken the car!"

He'd expected Jackson to have plenty to say in reply to that but no. He just kept his eyes on the road ahead and his mouth tightly shut. It seemed he was getting the silent treatment now.

After a few more uncomfortable moments had passed Aaron said, "I'm sorry."

When his apology went unacknowledged too, he began to feel really uneasy. Had his actions made Jackson think again about being involved with him?

There was a lay-by just up ahead and when the vehicle started to slow down Aaron knew that's where they were headed.

As soon as he'd turned the ignition off Jackson was pressing his phone into Aaron's hand, "Phone Paddy, tell him you're ok."

Paddy had picked up instantly, obviously waiting on the call, "Is he alright, what's happened?"

"It's me. I'm fine, and nothing's happened, nothing for you to worry about anyway." There was a lengthy silence at the other end of the phone and then Aaron heard the older man thunder back at him. "You'd better be on your way here."

"Yeah, we'll be there soon." Aaron sighed as he ended the call; it seemed he had an earful coming from Paddy too. He handed Jackson's phone back to him aware that his eyes were now fixed on him.

"He was worried sick about you!" Jackson spat angrily.

Aaron squirmed, "I know, I'm sorry."

"He nearly signed himself out of hospital so he could look for you. If he hadn't managed to get hold of me he would've done!"

"I'm sorry!" He was truly sorry; once again he'd given no thought or consideration to the people he loved and who loved him. Paddy was the last person he wanted to hurt but he had, again!

"I've spent hours looking for you. I've lost work..."Jackson caught himself, he didn't give a damn about the work he'd lost, he was just angry at Aaron for taking off like that and scaring him and Paddy half to death. As Aaron looked down and away Jackson realised he'd just given him all the wrong signals. Lifting his hand he gently cupped Aaron's chin and tilted his face upwards. His gaze instantly drawn to the bruising and split and swollen lips. Aaron didn't deserve anger, not after what he'd just gone through with his father, "No. I'm the one who should be saying sorry. Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" Aaron nodded, certain that if he kept telling himself that then he soon would be. He wasn't going to give in to his emotions, he wasn't going to waste anymore tears over his father. He'd meant what he said to Jackson.

"We both know you're not," Jackson said softly as he pulled Aaron into his arms. He felt him struggle against him but as he tightened his hold, Aaron quietened. All he could now was hold him until his tears stopped falling.

/

Aaron fingered the side of his face, how was he going to explain the ugly mass of bruising to Paddy? He was standing outside the older man's hospital room now, not wanting to go in.

"What you waiting for?" Jackson eyed him questioningly.

"I thought I'd give him a bit more time to calm down."

Jackson opened the door and gave Aaron a gentle push inside.

"What were you thinking?" Paddy yelled across the room at him.

"Well I wasn't was I! Thinking I mean." Aaron replied sheepishly as he slowly moved towards the bed to sit alongside the older man.

"What happened to your face?" Horrified by what he saw Paddy pulled the younger man nearer to inspect the damage. "Did he do that?"

"I'm alright Paddy! Everything's sorted now."

"Sorted!" Paddy exclaimed, Aaron turns up looking like he'd just gone a few rounds with Joe Calzaghe and tells him everything's sorted! What kind of answer was that anyway? "That's supposed to stop me worrying is it?

"Yes!" Aaron replied earnestly. "Trust me on this Paddy please," Aaron pleaded then looked to Jackson for support.

Paddy turned to the older of the two young men. Jackson had a sensible not to mention wise head on his shoulders, could he give him that extra bit of reassurance he needed right now?

Jackson didn't know everything that had gone on between father and son but he did know that it had proved to be a much needed catharsis for Aaron. "You can stop worrying now. I have."

"Right!" Paddy conceded. He would have liked to know exactly what had happened but maybe it was best he didn't. Holding out his arms to Aaron, he said, "Come here."

It was another show of affection he didn't deserve but Aaron readily returned the hug. He was relieved Paddy hadn't pushed for any more details. He just wanted to forget about it all now.

As Paddy released his hold he held out his hand and said to Aaron, "Hand them over."

"What?"

"The keys?"

"House keys?"

"Car keys!"

"I've got those." Jackson said passing them to Paddy.

"I'm putting the car back on EBay!"

"Ok." Aaron agreed, he deserved that and more for what he'd just put Paddy through.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Face to Face

Part 20

Aaron was content to just sit and listen to the two older men talk. Pleased that Paddy and Jackson were getting on so well. Not that that surprised him; they were alike in a lot of ways. Both were open, friendly, caring, and good natured... not to mention forgiving! None of which could be said about him of course! Jackson had said to him once, "Has anyone told you, you're a right miserable prat." Well, Aaron thought, 'miserable prat' summed him up nicely.

He was pretty miserably right now. His face hurt and losing the car hurt even more. He'd only had it one day! Only a prat would let something like that slip through his fingers.

The two men were now talking about his car or rather soon not to be his car. Deciding on how best to get it back to Emmerdale. Paddy didn't want Jackson going back for it after what had happened and the younger man had reluctantly agreed, but he'd promised to sort something out with Adam that evening.

Realising that the room had suddenly gone very quiet, Aaron lifted his gaze to find the two men were looking at him.

"That's how he looks when he's sulking." Paddy stated knowledgably.

Not really in the mood for teasing Aaron gave the older man a sour look.

"And see that?' Paddy smirked, "That there's his 'leave me alone I can't be bothered face!"

Jackson was grinning at him now; he obviously thought it was funny too; maybe him and Paddy were a bit too much alike. But there was something about that grin that warmed Aaron inside and he found himself grinning back.

"Now that!" Paddy feigned shock at seeing Aaron crack a smile, "that there's rarer than hen's teeth!"

/

They'd been back at Smithy Cottage about an hour and after grabbing something to eat had sat down to watch a DVD. The film was slow starting and they'd quickly lost interest. A friendly tussle over who had control of the TV remote turned into something a lot more passionate and as they peeled each other's clothes off a knock came on the door.

"Ignore it they'll go away!" Jackson said as tugged at Aaron's t-shirt.

"I think I left it on the latch! They could walk in!" The thought of his mother or Marlon or anyone for that matter catching them at it, horrified Aaron. He quickly righted his clothing insisting a now amused Jackson do the same.

"You get it." Aaron urged, if it's me mam, tell her I'm out." He didn't want her asking questions about the bruising on his face.

"If it is I'll tell her she needs to work on her timing!"

Aaron pulled a face and followed Jackson through to the kitchen. They'd get rid of whoever was at the door and then make their way upstairs to his bedroom; he'd feel more at ease there.

He could tell by Jackson's face that the visitor was an unwelcome one. But it wasn't until he heard him say in a threatening tone, "You got a death wish or what?" that he had some idea of who it could be. Jackson only responded in that way to one man.

"I'd like to speak to Aaron."

The voice confirmed Aaron's suspicions and suddenly his mouth was dry and his heart was pounding painfully in his chest.

"With your fists?" Jackson challenged, his temper already starting to rise.

Gordon Livesy grimaced and shook his head, "Please."

Aaron was standing just outside the hallway door, out of sight of his father. Jackson was looking anxiously at him now, awaiting a response.

He'd thought the nightmare was over and he didn't want to breathe life into it again so he shook his head and said, "No,"

"You heard him." Jackson ground out and moved to shut the door.

Livesy pressed his hand against the door and called around it, "Aaron please. Just hear me out and then I'll go."

Aaron desperately reasoned over what to do, finally nodding his consent to Jackson who although unconvinced it to be a wise move let the older man into the hallway.

Following Aaron through into the kitchen Gordon Livesy waited for his son to turn and look at him and then gesturing towards his face said. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." Aaron replied indifferently, his father's apology meant nothing to him now. The older man continued to look at him, making him uneasy. Why the hell had he agreed to this? "Is that it? If so, you know where the door is."

"No! Look I...I didn't know, I had no idea you were...that you were..."

"Gay? You can't even say it can you." Aaron spat, "Even the word makes you feel sick."

"No! I...I just don't know what word to use; I'm ignorant about it all and I'm trying not to cause offense." Taking a tentative step nearer to his son Livesy continued, "Aaron. If I'd known. If I'd had any idea I...well I wouldn't have made you feel you had to hide it. Maybe then you wouldn't have tried to..."

So his father knew about that too. Well he didn't want to talk about that with him. "Why are you saying this now? What's changed? You couldn't bear to look at me last week. You hate what I am so much you came here and said all those sick things to Paddy and then you..." he couldn't hold it together any longer, before he knew it he had hold of his father by his jacket and was forcing him backwards and slamming him violently into the wall. "Bastard!"

"Aaron no!" Jackson pleaded trying to separate the two men.

Unfazed Gordon Livesy said, "I'm so very sorry. I was drunk! Off my head. I wouldn't have done any of those terrible things otherwise!"

His father actually sounded genuine in his remorse and appalled at what he'd done. Aaron slowly released his hold on the older man and then felt Jackson haul him backwards putting what he seemed to think was a safe distance between father and son.

"When I read about you in the paper I couldn't believe it. You'd always been so..., " Livesy shrugged helplessly, once again worried about saying the wrong thing. "Then I realised I didn't know anything about you, not anymore. And that it was my fault, not yours."

When I saw you in that restaurant... I'd had a drink, more than one and I just...well I was angry at myself; I foolishly thought it was my fault, that it was something I had done. I felt ashamed for not knowing, a father should know his own son. I had more to drink and then I took all that out on you. I shouldn't have said what I did; I shouldn't have come around here that night. And I shouldn't have hit you today."

"There's a lot of things you shouldn't have done." Aaron spat accusingly.

"I know. And I know they will always stand between us. But after you left I did some thinking, a great deal of thinking. I realised I had to try and put right some of what I got so very wrong.

His eyes moving between the two young men Livesy's gaze finally settled on Aaron.

"So you two are..."

"Yes, we are." "Aaron snapped on the defensive once again.

Livsey nodded, "Believe it or not Aaron, I'm pleased there's someone in your life. Someone that cares about you as much as...as...?"

"Jackson!"

"As much as Jackson obviously does. It's too little too late I know, but still I think it's important you know that all I want now is for you to be happy." Turning around Livesy quickly walked out through the front door.

Jackson quickly followed and briefly watched the older man make his way to a waiting taxi. Shutting the door he then stepped towards Aaron.

"Don't." Aaron pleaded as he slowly shook his head from side to side, "Please. Don't ask me if I'm ok!"

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Face to Face

Part 21

"Aaron?" Jackson could see confusion in the blue eyes, and he was ready to help the young man anyway he could. Then suddenly it was gone and he the one left confused.

"C'mon," Aaron grabbed hold of Jackson's arm and pulled him towards the stairs.

"What?" Jackson couldn't believe that Aaron had been left so unaffected by his father's visit that he could just shrug it off and jump right into bed. But the teen had moved closer and had started to kiss him; making it quite plain what he wanted. Jackson pulled away, "What you doing?"

"What's it look like?"

"You think doing me's going to stop you thinking about what just happened?"

"Doing you! You make it sound cheap and...and nasty!" Aaron accused his eyes flashing angrily.

"And that's exactly what it would be if you used me to block out what you're feeling right now!"

"Forget it!" Aaron spun around and made for the door.

"Where you going?"

"The Woolpack!"

"No you're not!" Jackson pushed his way past the smaller man to stand between him and the doorway

"You think you can stop me?" Aaron challenged.

Jackson shook his head, "Going on experience, no, probably not! So to hell with you! If you want to go, fine. I'm going home." Stepping around Aaron he stalked to the table, snatched up his keys, then made his way outside to his van.

"See you around" Aaron sneered as he shut the door and walked towards the pub.

"I don't think so!" Jackson stated loudly before slamming his door and speeding off. But he'd only got a couple of miles down the road when reasoning kicked in, 'What the hell was that all about? How had he managed to let things spiral so out of control? How ridiculous a row was that anyway?'

'But it hadn't been a row it had been a reaction,' Jackson told himself. Aaron reacting badly to his father's visit and him being so thrown by that that he'd handled it equally as badly.

As soon as he could he turned his van around and headed back to Emmerdale. He was determined to get Aaron talking, even if it meant dragging him out of the damn pub to do so.

As he rounded the corner into the village he saw Aaron crossing the road seemingly on his way home. Head bowed, shoulders slumped, he was a picture of dejection. But on hearing the van the young man's head snapped up and Jackson saw relief spread across his face.

Jumping out of the now stationary vehicle Jackson gestured towards the cottage and barked, "Inside now!" He was still angry, at himself and at Aaron and just to prove the point further slammed the front door shut behind him. There was something very satisfying about the thud it made. Then he strode up to a waiting Aaron, got right in his face and demanded, "You ready to talk to me now?"

Aaron squirmed under Jackson's intense gaze, "What do you want me to say?"

Jackson took a long steadying breath then in a firm tone said, "Just tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

Aaron shrugged; he wasn't sure what was going on in there himself. He just knew he needed some answers, so after blowing out a shaky breath he looked at Jackson and tentitively asked, "What he said. Is it supposed to make it all alright?"

"No!"

"Is he expecting me to forgive him for what he did to Paddy? For all he times he smacked me in the mouth because that was easier to do than actually listen to me? For turning his back on me when I really needed him? Because I can't!"

"And you don't have to." Jackson soothed, although he knew that forgiving someone brought its own peace. So one far off day maybe?

""I don't want or need his approval to be with you. Not when I've fought against it for so long because of him. Not when other people helped get me through the nightmare and out the other side!"

Jackson nodded his understanding.

"So what do I do now? Tell myself it meant nothing and just forget it happened? Because I don't think I can."

Gripping Aaron gently by the forearms Jackson said, "No. You just accept that he's realised his mistakes too late in the day. You accept that if he's not in your life it's not because of anything you've done. And you stop feeling guilty about the way you feel about him."

"What do you mean?"

I know you haven't been able to hate him like you think you should. That doesn't mean you've betrayed anyone, not Paddy, not you and me. You don't love him for the things he's got wrong, you love him for what he got right, and he did get some things right, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Aaron breathed, suddenly aching for the time when his father could do no wrong in his eyes.

"And in the end it doesn't really matter what he said tonight, because it's why he came that's important, and that's what you have to hold on to." Jackson tightened his grip, wanting some indication that Aaron had understood the meaning of his words; finally it came in a barely discernable nod of the head. He knew Aaron wasn't convinced but given a little more time; he might see things a little more clearly.

He didn't want to think about it anymore, it was making his head hurt and anyway he owed Jackson an apology, so slowly meeting the older man's searching gaze Aaron said, "Sorry! About before. I was out of order."

"I could have handled things better." Jackson conceded.

"No, I shouldn't have ..."

"No I shouldn't have neither!" Jackson grinned, relieved to be putting right their earlier display of madness.

"Thanks. For coming back. I thought you'd finally had enough of me and all the shit that comes with me."

"No. Sometimes I just need a little space to think too."

"I'd understand. You know if it was all too full on. I mean this last week I've dragged you through one pile of crap straight into another."

Jackson laughed, that was one way of describing the events of the last week, "Well I think I'd prefer to look at it this way... that my life's more exciting with you in it. And there's been good bits too! Hasn't there?"

"Yeah, of course," Aaron readily admitted.

"Aaron this isn't going to go on forever! Things will settle down."

"Until the next time!" There was always something unpleasant waiting around the corner in Aaron's experience.

"Next time the world could turn on me! We all have these rocky patches and I know you'll help me through mine."

"You're that sure about me?" Aaron asked, certain he'd never given Jackson any cause to have such faith in him.

"Yes." Jackson smiled, he'd never been more sure of anything in his life. And to prove that he leant in closer to drop a single tender kiss on the younger man's mouth.

Aaron licked his lips and asked, "So what now?"

"You still want to go to the pub?"

"No."

"DVD?"

"No."

"Early night?"

Aaron grinned, "That depends!"

"On what?"

"On whether it's sleep you're after or something else!"

"That something else sounds good to me!"

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Face to Face

Father's Day

A none essential to storyline, piece of wanton soppiness in honour of Father's Day 20/06/2010. If you don't do soppy it might be best you don't read on ;-)

Dedicated to all fathers and Paddy's everywhere...

The nurse had flashed Aaron a warm smile as he'd walked into the room. "Won't be a minute," She assured him as she wrote something on Paddy's chart.

As he'd sat down in the chair beside the bed she'd looked over her spectacles at him, and gesturing in Paddy's direction with her pen asked, "Did you get your dad something nice for Father's Day?"

Paddy had started to cough and splutter then, the tea he'd been drinking having gone down the wrong way for some reason.

As Paddy grabbed a tissue and started dabbing at his mouth, Aaron held a small neatly wrapped package up for the nurse to see. Suitably impressed she'd smiled at him again.

Paddy had been wide eyed with surprise. So what had shocked him most? Aaron wondered, the fact he was happy to let people believe he was his son or the fact he'd bought him a present?

He'd told the Sister that first night that he was Paddy's next of kin and she and everyone else had assumed he was his son. He'd done nothing to put them right.

When the nurse finally left the room Paddy looked at him and said, "Everything alright? House still standing? No all night party's I should know about?"

"No, not this week anyway! Here." He dropped the present into Paddy's lap; suddenly a little embarrassed he avoided eye contact with the older man.

"Thanks."

He watched Paddy unwrap his gift and heard the delight in his voice when he said "I've wanted this DVD for ages!"

"Yeah I know." Paddy was looking curiously at him now, he was obviously thrown by the gesture, well he would be, he'd never done anything like it before.

"There was no need, you didn't have to..."

This was just the opportunity he needed and he grabbed it with both hands, "You didn't have to take me in..."

He'd had a wakeup call, one he couldn't ignore, he knew he could so easily be standing over Paddy's grave right now. The thought terrified him! He knew he had to start showing some appreciation for all Paddy had done and was still doing for him. Paddy needed to know just how important he was in his life.

"You didn't have to stand by me all the times I messed up. You didn't have to defend me; you didn't have to look out for me..."

"Aaron..."

He knew Paddy was feeling very uncomfortable right now, so was he but he hadn't finished yet. "You didn't have to make me a part of your life, you didn't have to love me...but you did." Pointing to the DVD Aaron said, "That's nothing, and it wouldn't matter what it was anyway because I just wanted to give you something today. Something just to let you know what you are in my life."

A lump had formed in Paddy's throat and he swallowed it with some difficulty. It was hard to believe the emotional young man sitting beside him now had once been the sullen, argumentative toe rag who had stormed into his life just a few short years ago.

He didn't look much different except now he had the very humble beginnings of a beard on his face or bum fluff has Pearl liked to call it!

He'd been so hostile back then, downright nasty. God forgive him but he'd so wanted to smack some manners and respect into him, he nearly had on occasion but instead he'd told himself Aaron was just a troubled and damaged kid and the one thing he didn't need was the heavy handed approach. So he'd tried calm reasoning and when that failed some vocal ear bashing. It had been a war of wills at times. Aaron had pushed him and pushed him, trying him testing him. He'd been the red rag to a bull so many times he still couldn't believe he hadn't actually hit him. But they'd weathered those storms.

Then Chas deserted them both and they were united in their hurt and disappointment. He'd been given a sense of responsibility for Aaron and although he'd tried to knock it on the head when his mother dumped him, he hadn't been able too, he was already seeing Aaron as the son he'd never had.

The last few months had been so damn hard on them all. He'd almost lost Aaron; he knew it wouldn't have hurt anymore if he had been his own son.

The mistrust had long since gone from his eyes, the once perpetual sneer was now rarely seen and when Aaron talked to him now there was a genuine warmth and honesty in his voice.

He was both pleased and proud to have played some part in helping him become the young man he now was. Far from perfect of course and with some growing up and mellowing still to do, but nevertheless someone he would be proud to call son.

tbc


	23. Chapter 23

Face to Face

Part 23

"Anyone in?"

"Me!" Jackson smiled over at the dark haired woman peering around the front door.

"Aaron?"

"Walking Clyde."

"Oh!" Chas said, trying to sound disappointed, she knew exactly where her son was, and that was why she was here now. She wanted to speak to Jackson, on his own and in the privacy of Smithy Cottage. Stepping further into the room she gestured to the paper strewn kitchen table where Jackson was sitting and said, "You got a minute?"

Jackson was in the middle of sorting out some invoices, he'd really let that side of his business slide since he'd been with Aaron, now he was desperately trying to catch up. He really wanted to get them done before he took Aaron to see Paddy but not wanting to offend Aaron's mum he said, "Yeah, two if you like."

Chas flashed the young man a smile then stepped into the room settling herself in a chair beside him. "Thanks, this won't take long!"

There was something about the way she'd delivered that last line, that and the suddenly serious look on her face that had Jackson sit back in his chair and pin back his ears. He had no idea what she was about to say only that he probably wasn't going to like it.

"Aaron's only eighteen; he's still just a kid."

"I know how old he is." Jackson said evenly although a little taken aback by Chas' opening comment, he had an idea now that he was to be on the receiving end of a 'talking to'.

"You're what twenty-two, twenty-three?"

"Twenty-two. not exactly cradle snatching am I? Jackson forced a smile as he tried to lighten the tone of the conversation,

"You've been out how long?"

"What? Why?" What the hell did that have to do with her?

"You're his first boyfriend..."

"I know." Jackson interrupted; he was starting to get just a little pissed off now.

"You've had other gay relationships, he hasn't!"

"I know that too! Look you're telling me nothing I don't already know, so just get to what you really came here to say."

Chas eyed the young man steadily, it seemed she'd put Jackson on the defensive, she lowered her voice hoping to convince the young man she only had her son's interests at heart, "He might seem tough and unbreakable but he's easily hurt..."

"I know, and I've no intentions of hurting him." Jackson snapped, that was rich coming from her.

"You say that now but..."

"You've got a nerve..." Jackson bit back on his words; he didn't want to say something he would regret.

"What? Go on, if you've got something to say then say it!" Now she was on the defensive with an idea of what was coming.

"I know how vulnerable he is and I know why. His biggest fear is rejection and no wonder considering..."

Chas straightened her back and tilted her head upwards, she knew the blame was about to be laid at her door, and was ready to take it on the chin, "I know I've let him down..."

"Yes you did! You and that slap happy ex of yours! You both did a number on him..."

"Slap happy? What do you mean by that? Gordon never..."

"Yes he did!" Jackson insisted, nodding his head vigorously to emphasise the point. "I already know more about Aaron than you ever will so don't come here preaching to me about how easily hurt he is because I already know!"

Chas glared at the young man, a mix of anger and shock running through her veins. That couldn't be right about Gordon! He'd given her a mouthful for slapping Aaron once; he'd never been violent for her to know of. But then he was responsible for Paddy being in hospital now!

'My God!' Chas thought. That would explain why Aaron was so quick to let fly with his own fists. Leaping to her feet she stormed from the room, she needed to talk to Aaron, but not yet, not until she'd calmed down.

Jackson watched the irate woman leave, instantly regretting his outburst. Aaron hadn't actually said he didn't want her to know about his dad but that was the message he'd got. Jackson had wanted Aaron and Chas to strengthen their relationship, had encouraged Aaron to try harder at making things work between them and here he was getting on the wrong side of her, that was not going to help matters. Worse still he'd betrayed a confidence.

It was another half hour before the younger man returned home, Clyde with him. The dog bounded over to his water bowl, while Aaron eyed the mountain of paperwork questioningly. "Haven't you finished that yet?"

"No, I got distracted." Jackson said guiltily.

Aaron pulled a puzzled face, "By what?"

Gesturing to a chair alongside him Jackson said, "You're not going to like this."

Aaron took a seat, "What?"

"Your mum came round."

"You're right. I'm not liking it.!" Aaron grinned,

"It gets worse!"

Shrugging Aaron said, "She brought Carl with her?"

"No. I overreacted and..."

"Overreacted?" Aaron exclaimed, his mother had obviously overstepped the mark in some way. "What did she say?"

"She was worried about you, about me hurting you, you know emotionally and I..."

"So you told her where to go! Good." His mother didn't know when to keep her nose out; he was pleased Jackson had stood up to her.

"No, not exactly."

"What then?"

"I let slip about your dad."

"What?"

"Sorry I..."

"No, it's alright," Aaron knew how easy it was to have words with his mother; he usually ended up saying things he didn't mean to say too. She had a knack of rubbing people up the wrong way, that's where he got it from. "It's done now, forget it."

Reaching out to grip Aaron's hand Jackson said, "I don't want you to think you can't trust me."

"I know I can trust you." Aaron insisted, Jackson was one of only two people he did truly trust, and they'd gone out of their way to earn that trust.

"I don't want you thinking that I'm going to let you down at some point because I won't."

Aaron stared into the chocolate brown depths, seeing the sincerity there. He couldn't look away. There was something intoxicating in the older man's eyes, something else shining brightly there. Did he dare believe Jackson felt that way about him too?

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Face to Face

Part 24

Aaron had told Jackson he was going to the shop, and that's exactly where he'd gone, he'd picked up a few things that Paddy needed, but then, instead of going home he went looking for his mother.

Carl King had answered the door. Looking down his nose at him like he was something that had crawled from under a stone. The ill feeling was mutual of course, but he had somehow managed to keep a civil tongue in his head. He hadn't come looking for trouble, just to get a message across.

Carl had shown him into the living room and as he'd looked for his car keys mother and son had stared silently at each other, neither one wanting to speak until they were alone. As Carl disappeared out through the front door, happy to leave the frosty atmosphere behind him, Chas had smiled nervously at Aaron, "We need to talk..."

"No. You need to listen. Keep away from Jackson."

"Aaron!"

"What were you trying to do? Warn him off?"

"No of course not! I like him, and it's obvious he likes you." She did like him; she knew Jackson genuinely cared for her son. She hadn't meant to give him the third degree, it had all come out wrong, tact never was her strong point.

"Then leave us alone. I don't want you saying or doing something to change that." Aaron made for the door; he'd said what he wanted to say.

"Aaron please, don't go. Jackson said something; I need to know if it's true..."

"You calling him a liar?" Aaron snarled.

"No of course not." Chas insisted not missing just how quick Aaron had been to leap to Jackson's defence. It seemed her son had fallen hard and fast. "I'm just hoping he's somehow got the wrong end of the stick, about your dad?"

"Well you hoped wrong! Anyway it's a bit late to worry about that now."

A now guilt filled Chas said, "If I'd known I'd..."

"You'd have what? Come get me? Yeah maybe. Then gone and dumped me somewhere else!"

"No..."

"Yes! You haven't got what it takes to be a mother." Aaron knew he shouldn't have said that but now he'd started with the home truths he couldn't seem to stop, "You're too selfish!"

Chas felt the hot sting of tears. Yes, she was far from perfect but it hurt being reminded of the fact by her son.

"You're never satisfied with what you've got, you always want more but end up settling for less..."

"This is about Paddy isn't it?" Chas furiously blinked away the tears; she couldn't help not loving Paddy. "You've never forgiven me for dumping him for Carl!"

"You had it made with Paddy. He's a good man, he loved you..."

"But I didn't love him!" She'd tried she really had but the spark just wasn't there.

"No but you could love a tosser like Carl King! Someone who cheated on you the first chance he got! It doesn't matter now though. Paddy's better off without you, he deserves better than the village bike..."

The sound of the slap reverberated around the room. Horrified at what she'd just done Chas stood open mouthed and shaking.

Aaron stared icily back at her. "That's what me dad used to do. When he heard something he didn't like."

He hadn't meant to call her that! But he was angry at her, had been ever since she dumped Paddy. She was right he hadn't forgiven her. He never would. She'd wreaked everything. He hadn't been sure about Paddy at first, but he'd soon got to like him. He liked how he loved and respected his mum, how he'd looked out for him. He'd had a real home again and just as he was starting to believe it was for good this time, she up and left again.

Paddy was hurting, they both were and he'd done a runner. But Paddy had set aside his own heartache and chased him down. So then it was just the two of them and in the end that was all it needed to make Smithy Cottage home.

Giving his mother a scathing look Aaron then turned around and walked out the door. Half way up the road he heard her calling his name. He knew she was crying, he could hear it in her voice. Well let her cry, he'd cried over her enough times.

His cheek was stinging; he could just imagine the angry redness staining it. He kept his head bowed, not wanting anyone to see. But he was going to have to explain it to Jackson! He'd seemed to think things would settle down soon, that all the upset of the last few weeks would soon be behind them, but here he was stirring things up again.

As Aaron crossed the road outside of Paddy's. Jackson walked out through the front door.

"You ready to go? I thought I'd drop you off, take these invoices to the office then see Paddy when I ...what the hell happened to you?"

Aaron shrugged, "I was asking for it!"

"What?" Jackson steered the obviously shaken teen inside. He was a little taken aback himself, Aaron had only gone to the shop. How could he have managed to get into trouble there?

Standing in the hallway just behind the now closed front door Aaron began to explain, "We were arguing and..." blowing out a shaky breath Aaron continued shame faced, "... I called her the village bike!"

Jackson's eyes widened as he considered who the 'her' could be, Aaron had to mean the woman who owned the shop. She was a mouthy insensitive piece and he'd heard some talk about her just the other day. "Viv?"

"No."

"Who then? " Jackson demanded, who else would he have got into an argument with? Oh shit! "No! Not your mum?"

Aaron nodded sheepishly.

Jackson shook his head in disbelief, "Why can't you two put as much effort into getting along as you do into pissing each other off?"

"I was out of order I know."

"You both were! This argument, please tell me it wasn't about me?"

"No, it was about Paddy."

"Paddy!" Well Jackson could well believe that. Aaron was very protective of him where his mother was concerned. He'd told him how she'd moved in uninvited just after his suicide attempt. He'd had to ask her to leave because Paddy was enjoying her company too much.

It was clear she'd broken both their hearts when she chose Carl over Paddy. She'd torn Aaron's world apart and he just couldn't forgive her. "Don't you think you've punished her enough?"

"What?"

"You're keeping her at what you think is a safe distance, letting her stray over the line when it suits you and knocking her back when it doesn't. You keep pushing her away but she keeps coming back for more, doesn't that tell you something?"

"Yeah, that she's slow on the uptake!" Aaron spat derisively, why was Jackson on her side all of a sudden?

Jackson shook his head again, Aaron was as stubborn as they come, "This is one fight you'll probably never win but if you do, you could just regret it!"

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Face to Face

Part 25

Jackson had reasoned with him, in that calm knowing way of his. He'd said his mum was trying, that she was doing the very best she could, and that that had to be enough.

He'd expected him to make the effort needed with his mother and apologise for what he'd said. He knew he had to but hadn't been prepared to do it there and then, and had said, "After I've been to see Paddy."

"No now." Jackson had insisted. Anyone else and he'd have told them where to go but he couldn't argue the toss with him, maybe because he knew he was right, that the sooner he did it the better it was for all concerned.

So now he found himself walking back down through the village, dragging his feet like some naughty schoolboy, in no hurry to get where he was going. He wasn't sure he could do this!

All too soon he was by the door and working up the courage needed to knock on it.

He rapped lightly; half hoping she wouldn't hear him but just seconds later his mother was staring at him through red and swollen eyes.

"Aaron!"

Before he had chance to open his own mouth he found himself in a hug, his mother's arms wrapped tightly around him. He couldn't breathe let alone talk. He hadn't expected that sort of a welcome. He wasn't sure what he should do. Hug her back or just stand there and let her do what she needed to do.

She was sobbing now, loudly in his ear. Why did women always have to cry? It was a weapon they shamelessly used against men. One almost always guaranteed to beat them into submission. He slipped his arms tentatively around her and said, "I'm sorry."

This was so embarrassing, hugging each other on the doorstep where everyone could see. He tried to pull away but she tightened her hold and he cringed when he realised he'd tightened his in response.

"Mam. Stop crying please." This wasn't the Chastity Dingle he knew, hardnosed and battle hardy. He'd never seen her cry before, not properly, not like this. His face was wet with her tears and they were soaking into his t-shirt, he was so very ashamed of himself right now.

When the sobs finally started to subside he said, "C'mon'" and guided his mother inside, she was still clinging to him, holding onto him like she was scared to let go. What should he do now? Sit her down? Make her a cup of tea? Yeah that sounded like a good idea.

He settled her on the sofa and snatched up the box of tissues sitting on the coffee table. Then looked on guiltily as she dabbed away at her eyes. He'd really upset her this time. He'd have been happy about that once but not now, not any more.

She seemed a bit calmer so he made his way into the kitchen. Hurriedly opening each cupboard door and drawer as he searched for what he needed, dropping and smashing a couple of mugs in his haste. He told himself he'd clear the mess up later and heaped sugar in the mug he was about to give to his mother. Did she take sugar? She did now!

He pressed the mug into her hands, and sat down beside her.

"Aaron I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. So can we forget about it now?" He pleaded; the sooner this was over the better.

"I was bang out of order." Chas insisted her voice trembling with emotion

"So was I so that makes us even doesn't it?" Couldn't they just drop it now, and move on as Paddy was so fond of saying.

"I shouldn't have hit you."

"Mam I..." Hearing a key in the door Aaron leapt to his feet, grateful for an excuse to leave. "I'd better go."

"No." Chas set down her mug and stood up too. As Aaron moved towards the door, she caught hold of his arm just as Carl walked into the room.

"Sorry." Carl said, he'd expected Aaron to have gone by now, and not wanting to get in their way or in any way involved he headed into the kitchen. Seeing the broken crockery scattered on the floor he moved back to the door and eyed Chas questioningly. That's when he saw how red and puffy her eyes were and also the strain etched on her unnaturally pale face. "What's happened? He demanded, Aaron had to be the reason Chas was so openly distraught, what other reason could there be. The kid had a vicious mouth and as far as he was concerned had an evil streak running right through him. He was always hurting his mother in some way. He loved Chas and hated seeing her like that, her son had gone too far this time.

Aaron shrugged off his mothers hand, the last person he wanted in his face right now was Carl King. Ignoring the older man's menacing glare he edged passed him only to find himself grabbed from behind and violently hauled around to face him.

"You just can't help yourself can you? You nasty little ..."

"Carl! No it's not like that please, let him go. Aaron go home I'll see you later."

"You want teaching a lesson in respect!"

He'd been about to dare Carl into trying but the next thing Aaron knew the taller man's fist was slamming into his jaw, knocking him backwards off his feet and down onto the floor.

He'd watched Aaron until he disappeared from sight. Then made himself a cup of tea. He'd assured the younger man that if he wasn't back in half an hour that he'd drive down and pick him up and that they go straight to the hospital. Aaron was a little obsessive when it came to visiting Paddy but then the man had almost died. It had really shaken him; no it had scared the hell out of him in fact.

The half hour was dragging; to be honest he hadn't thought Aaron would be there that long. He'd expected him to say what he had to say and make a swift exit. But the fact he had been there so long was a good sign, at least he thought it was. It meant they were talking, well hopefully they were, they could just as easily be shouting at each other. Making things worse. No things couldn't get any worse between them! This was a positive step, a move in the right direction.

He got to his feet and made his way outside. A car swept past him, Carl King at the wheel obviously on his way home.

'Perfect timing' Jackson told himself. There was no love lost between Aaron and his mother's partner, Aaron would be out the door the minute he walked in.

He pulled up outside Carl's place and left the engine running, eyeing the door expectantly. Five minutes later he was still waiting for Aaron to appear. Should he be worried or was that a sign that things were going well in there?

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Face to Face

Part 26

Aaron had got up even quicker than he'd gone down, ready to do Carl some serious damage. He'd been here before, two or three times. Each time Paddy had stepped in and stopped the fight. Well Paddy wasn't here now, and Carl so had it coming.

Chas had thrown herself between the two men, desperately trying to calm Aaron down and at the same time telling Carl to back off, that it was him in the wrong. But neither one was listening to her. Each one intent on landing the next blow.

Aaron was wild eyed with rage, and Carl equally out of control, and it was him who roughly pushed her aside, out of his way. In that brief lapse of concentration Aaron's fist had connected with his nose. The older man had stumbled backwards and Aaron had launched himself at him tackling him to the floor, the two of them then wrestling violently to get the upper hand.

Realising she had little chance of stopping the fight herself Chas ran outside.

Jackson still had his eye on Mill Cottage's front door, willing Aaron to walk out through it; he was growing increasingly uneasy by his no show. When it did finally open it was Chas who appeared, he was just about to acknowledge her with a wave when she yelled hysterically at him, pleading for help before turning around and running back inside.

He threw open his van door and ran after her, his heart now thundering in his chest, it's erratic rhythm fuelled by a sense of dread. He was horrified to find Aaron kneeling over a prostrate Carl King about to punch him in the face. Jackson could tell by the blood trickling from the older man's nose that it wouldn't be for the first time. Aaron had dealt the blow before he could reach him but he was able to haul the irate teen away before he had chance to deliver another one. He forced Aaron's arms behind his back and locked them there by folding his own firmly around them.

Aaron struggled against him, but he held on for dear life. It looked like he'd done more than enough damage as it was. He kept telling Aaron to calm down, to think about what he was doing, to not make things any worse, all the time knowing they couldn't get much worse.

Chas was now trying to talk Aaron down too, apologising for what had happened and promising him that everything would be alright. She had her back turned to Carl; her lover's condition seemingly the least of her concerns.

Only when Aaron ceased his struggling did Chas back away, finally turning around to address Carl. By now he was sitting upright on the floor, wiping his bloody nose with his shirt sleeve. If he'd expected any sympathy or concern from Chas he was sadly mistaken. She swore at him first and then called him a few choice names, her outrage at his actions plain for all to see. Then she went on to tell him that her son had done nothing wrong, that he had read the situation wrongly and had acted like some mindless thug. Then wagging a warning finger just inches from his face she told him that if he didn't apologise now and put all the old grievances behind him she'd walk out of his life for good. Finally she said, "He's my son and I love him and I won't let anyone come between us. Not even you!"

As Carl sat absorbing her words Jackson released his hold on Aaron. He turned him around to face him, only then did he see the swelling and rapidly forming bruises on his face. It seemed Carl had landed a few blows of his own. In fact Aaron seemed to have come off worst. His left eye was swelling shut, he'd have a right shiner by morning and his jaw and cheek had obviously taken some punishment too.

Aaron shrank away from Jackson's concerned gaze and touch, he didn't deserve it. He hated the fact Jackson had seen him lose his head again. It had to have made him wonder about him. Maybe even think he could be on the receiving end of that loss of control again someday. The thought that it could actually happen terrified Aaron.

"Well?" Chas demanded loudly, getting both young men's attention again.

Aaron couldn't believe his mother had given Carl that ultimatum, she'd sounded deadly serious too. Like she actually would choose him over Carl should it come to it. He wasn't going to hang around to find out either way. Avoiding eye contact with Jackson he said, "I'm going."

"No" Chas hurried to the doorway, blocking Aaron's exit. "Not yet."

Aaron reluctantly turned around, aware Jackson's eyes were on him, but he still couldn't meet his gaze.

Carl was looking up at Chas, shaking his head, "I thought he'd...I'm sorry..."

"It's not me you should be apologising to!" Chas snapped.

Carl wasn't prepared to lose Chas again, and knew he was very close to doing so now. He loved her and would do anything to keep her by his side but was it possible to forge some kind of relationship with her son? The boy hated him, although he had been a bit more amiable recently. He could but try he supposed. He didn't expect them to ever be mates but it would make life a lot easier for all concerned, especially for Chas if the two of them put their difference behind them and made an effort to get along. He turned to look at Aaron, "Sorry."

The apology sounded half hearted to every ones ears including Carl's, so he clambered to his feet. If he was going to do this to Chas' satisfaction he was going to have to be standing on his feet. Looking and sounding like a man. "I really am sorry, I got it wrong, I didn't stop to think I just reacted and I regret what I did." He knew he sounded genuine this time and could only hope it was enough for Chas and hopefully for her son too.

"We all make mistakes." Chas insisted, her gaze moving to Aaron, silently pleading with him to make the effort needed to clear the air. "We all do things we regret."

Aaron shifted uncomfortably; there were a lot of things he regreted doing and he knew he had some apologising to do too. He was ashamed of how low he'd stooped in the past to get back at Carl; now Jackson was going to learn some more unpleasant truths about him. "Yeah. What I did to this place, to the headstone. I'm sorry." He meant what he said; desecrating a grave was a terrible thing to do. He didn't blame Carl for hating him for it.

His mother was smiling at him now, relief shining in her eyes. Carl was looking at him too, nodding what seemed to be an acceptance of his apology.

Was that it? War over? It seemed it was. Well he wasn't ready to play happy families just yet. "I'll see you later." He told his mum, making his way outside.

He waited for Jackson by the driver's side door of his van, hoping to make it clear he wouldn't be getting in it.

"Aaron?"

"I'm going home."

"I'll come with you." Jackson said, very aware something was wrong.

"No. You've got things to do."

"Nothing that can't wait!" Jackson insisted, he had no intention of leaving Aaron now. His face needed some attention and he seemed badly shaken by what had happened.

"Will you just go!" Aaron snapped.

"What?"

"You heard."

"What's going on? Why the cold shoulder all of a sudden?"

"It's better this way." Aaron stated flatly. Edging away from the taller man

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't want to see you again."

Jackson shook his head, he knew that wasn't true. "What's this really about?"

"I told you!" Aaron snarled, "Now get out of my face."

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Face to Face

Part 27

Jackson stood contemplating the young man before him. He'd sounded so hostile but he looked anything but. There was a defeated, an almost broken air about him. He knew Aaron hadn't meant a word of what had just come out of his mouth so why the hell had he said it?

"I'm not going anywhere." Jackson stated with a finality that had Aaron shake his head and look away. Closing the distance between him and Aaron, Jackson raised his left hand, resting it on the side of the van just inches away from Aaron's head. The younger man took a step back only to find his retreat halted by the vehicle. As he made to sidestep around the taller man Jackson lifted his other hand placing it palm down on the bonnet. Aaron was now, to all intents and purposes trapped between Jackson and his van.

Their faces were just inches apart now, so close Aaron struggled to put rational thought together, he could only look at Jackson, into the brown eyes searching his so intently now.

"Did you honestly think I would just walk away?"

"Jackson please ..."

"Please what?" Jackson snapped angrily, "Give up on you like you suddenly seem to have given up on yourself? I care too much about you to do that." He watched as Aaron bowed his head, what little fight had been left in him now all but drained away. Instilling some calm into his voice he said, "We need to talk but not here."

They'd returned to Paddy's, Jackson steering Aaron into the living room and sitting down beside him on the sofa. He had an idea what this was all about now, but he wasn't sure how best to handle it. He had a lot to lose if he got it wrong. "What are you frightened of?" He asked softly.

That's an easy one, Aaron thought, "Me! I'm frightened of me and you should be too."

Jackson shook his head, "Well I'm not."

"You think you know me but you don't. You don't have a clue what I'm really like, about the things I've done. You wouldn't want to be with me if you did."

"You've made some mistakes, made some bad choices but there isn't a man alive who hasn't."

"Yeah I suppose you could say running drugs. Stealing from Paddy's drug stock and selling it on was me making bad choices." Shaking his head in self disgust Aaron continued, "And that me spraying Carl's place and his dad's grave with paint was me making mistakes! But what would you call me beating up a gay kid in school? Battering Paddy? Punching you? Laying in to Carl just now? They weren't mistakes or bad choices. That was me losing my head! Me losing control. Aren't you scared I'll lose it with you again one day?

"No." Jackson answered honestly.

"Well you should be!"

"I walked into this relationship with my eyes open, I've seen you scared, hurt and angry but I've seen nothing to make me think you'd ever hit me again. What I have seen is you trying and succeeding to do the right thing. You scared the hell out of me when you went after your dad but you turned it around and showed yourself to be the better man. As for what happened with Carl, there's history between you, not easy to forget but just five minutes later you were willing to do just that. Give yourself some credit Aaron because you've earned it."

Aaron sighed and sank back into the cushions. He was trying; trying to sort out the mess his life was. The mess he'd made of it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't mess up again at some point did it? And what if that meant he hurt Jackson in some way?

Sensing he was beginning to get through to Aaron, Jackson said, "There is one thing that scares me."

"What?"

Jackson sighed wearily, "The thought of waking up tomorrow and finding that you're not in my bed or in my life."

Aaron hung his head, suddenly realising just how much his insecurities were hurting Jackson.

Jackson was unashamedly ready for the kill now, "Do you really want to wake up in the morning and find me gone from yours?"

"No." Aaron met Jackson's steady gaze, he hadn't had to think about his answer that was the last thing he wanted.

Jackson breathed a sigh of relief, "Good. Because like I said before, I'm not going anywhere."

Aaron shifted into Jackson's waiting arms, absorbing all the reassurance and comfort offered him there.

Then with a little coaxing from Jackson and some manoeuvring of limbs and cushions the two of them were soon stretched out on the sofa. Aaron's back resting against Jackson's chest, his head on his shoulder. Both needing a little time to get their thoughts and emotions in order.

Jackson's insides were still in knots. Aaron had really thrown him this time. For a minute there he'd begun to think it actually could be over between them. Aaron could be so bloody stubborn. If he had convinced himself it was best to end things then Jackson doubted he would have been able to talk him around. But it hadn't been so difficult in the end. Aaron liked to think he was hard and he was to a point. But he was also extremely sensitive and that was why life had been able to scar him so badly. So Jackson had appealed to his sensitive side and it had won out.

He had been surprised, no shocked was a better word, to hear some of the things Aaron had done, although he'd tried not to let Aaron see that. He knew troubled kids acted out and played up, and Aaron seemed to have excelled at both. Paddy really had had his hands full with him, but he'd never given up on him. No wonder Aaron loved and respected him so much now.

But Aaron's past was exactly that as far as Jackson was concerned. He was part of his present and hopefully his future.

He'd liked Aaron from the start, really liked him. Right from the time he'd seen the panic in his eyes when he'd thought he was being chatted up. He hadn't been chatting Aaron up as such, more checking him out. There had been plenty of men cruising the new face at Bar West but he'd got there first. He'd been on a rollercoaster ride ever since, and he had no intention of getting off. He'd fallen in love! Quicker than he'd ever thought possible but there was no denying it at least not to himself! He knew Aaron cared for him, he'd proved how much today even if it was in a cack-handed way. Still that didn't necessarily translate into love. But maybe one day soon Aaron would look at him and realise he was in love too!

It was so quiet he could hear Jackson's heart beating, just like that first night when he'd fallen asleep in his arms. So alien a place to his thinking at one time, but then and now a place of warmth and comfort. Somewhere he'd found the strength and courage to share something of himself, something other than anger and spite. All the thoughts and emotions he'd tried so hard to keep locked up inside.

It was so easy to talk to Jackson, to explain and express himself. Jackson expected it and just like a few minutes ago if he wasn't happy with what he was hearing he'd keep on at him until he was.

He never thought he could feel so at ease with someone, trust in them so completely. Was that because they'd shared both body and soul? It was all a bit too deep for him but still he was sure that's what tied you to someone. What set a relationship apart. What made you look at someone and smile inside. The truly knowing them.

Was that what led to love? Was he in love? His racing heart told him he was!

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Face to Face

Part 28

Paddy was so pleased to be home. Back amongst the familiar and in the one space he could truly call his own. He'd returned to a decidedly clean and tidy house. The fridge was full and so too the larder cupboard. There was washing out on the line and even the bathroom had been given the once over. Paddy was impressed. Pearl had quietly told him that both she and Chas had offered to help Aaron ready the place for his return but he'd insisted on doing everything himself.

He'd had a string of visitors and Aaron had seen the well wishers in and out and plied them all with cups of tea. He'd hovered in the background but as soon as they were alone he was standing over him fussing. Paddy couldn't make a move without him wanting to know where he was going and why? The young man insisting Paddy do what the doctors had told him to do and take it easy. Well there was taking it easy and there was what you called being wrapped up in cotton wool! Aaron didn't seem to know the difference. Paddy had been both amused and touched at first, but five hours on he was starting to feel too much like a china doll!

He'd fancied a walk to the shop but Aaron had said he couldn't go! That it was too far! Too far? He could spit further than that! So he was still sat sitting on the sofa, his bum numb and his brain likely to suffer the same fate if he didn't get up and do something mentally stimulating soon.

"Aaron if I sit here any longer I'll sprout roots! I'm supposed to be up and about; just not back at work yet."

"So why were you heading towards the surgery door before?"

"Just stretching my legs..."

"No you were going to see if there was anything you could do to help Rhona!"

"Well I could do some paperwork. "Paddy reasoned. "That wouldn't kill me now would it?"

Paddy didn't like how Aaron had responded to that comment, looking away and tensing as is if expecting a physical blow. "Aaron. I'm fine..."

"You nearly died..."

"So did you! It was an awful time and I didn't plan on ever letting you out of my sight again but well that wouldn't have worked now would it?

"That was different!"

"No. I was scared of losing you and I blamed myself for what happened. Does that sound familiar to you?"

Aaron didn't answer, he was scared of losing Paddy, and although he'd told himself he wasn't to blame for his father's actions, he hadn't been able to convince himself of that.

"Ok, so you now, just like I did then, have to grit your teeth and put it behind you. Now how about we take Clyde for a walk?"

They hadn't gone far, just round the village and back and Paddy had to admit he was tired after the short trek. He was soon back on the sofa, mug of tea in one hand and a slice of the lemon drizzle cake Pearl had made him in the other. Aaron was still watching him like a hawk but at least he'd relaxed a little, hopefully he'd chill out a bit more when he saw Jackson, which reminded him, "What time's Jackson coming round?"

"He's not."

Paddy was taken aback by that. He knew for a fact that Aaron had spent a large part of every day, every evening not to mention every night with Jackson since he'd been in hospital. Pearl had got all misty eyed when she'd told him that the two of them were inseparably. She was a hopeless romantic, just like him. "Why not?" He demanded.

"Because you're home and I thought..."

"You can still see Jackson." Paddy didn't want to come between the two of them. He felt guilty enough about all the time they'd spent with him at the hospital, when they could've been off enjoying themselves. "Everything's alright between you two isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Then ring him and tell him to come round after work."

Aaron shifted uncomfortably, "He's been staying over, is it alright if he stays tonight too?"

"Of course it is. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?" It had been a light hearted comment but it seemed to have thrown Aaron because he was avoiding eye contact again.

"You really like him don't you?"

Aaron nodded.

"Are we talking something more than just liking him?" Paddy pushed, certain they were.

Aaron shrugged; he wasn't comfortable talking about this not even with Paddy.

Paddy was beaming now, he just couldn't help himself. "You went and did it didn't you? You fell in love! I told you that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself. Was I right or was I right?"

Aaron couldn't help but grin at Paddy's enthusiastic reaction, "You were right!"

"And Jackson?"

"What about him?"

"Does he feel the same way?" Paddy was certain he did, he'd seen the way Jackson looked at Aaron

"I don't know,"

"I think you do."

Aaron shrugged again, "He hasn't said."

"Have you?"

"No!"

Paddy rolled his eyes; it seemed both Aaron and Jackson were a little backward in the coming forward department.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"He does and you know he does, you're just scared to admit it!"

Paddy was right again, "Ok I'll phone him and..."

"And tell him how you feel?" Paddy asked hopefully.

"No! Ask him to come round tonight!"

/

"Won't be long." Aaron called over his shoulder to Paddy. As he walked into the hallway the front door opened and Jackson stepped inside.

"Hi,"

The greeting had been accompanied by one of Jackson's heart stopping smiles and Aaron felt his stomach flip over several times. "You're early."

"I couldn't keep away." Glancing into the next room and seeing it empty, Jackson leant in close to Aaron and helped himself to a long leisurely kiss. Finally coming up for air he said, "You going somewhere?"

Aaron couldn't think for a minute, Jackson was so close, intoxicatingly close. Not only did he taste good he smelt good too, shower fresh with just a hint of aftershave. "Just to the Wooly, to get us some cans; keep an eye on Paddy while I'm gone. Don't let him near the surgery!"

"If I can keep you in order I'm sure I can Paddy!" Jackson teased.

Aaron grinned, "I wouldn't be so sure."

Jackson found Paddy with his head in a puzzle book. "You into crosswords then."

Paddy smiled over at the younger man, "No, not really," Gesturing at the book in his hand he frowned and said, "This was all Aaron's idea! The reason being it doesn't involve anything more strenuous than thinking."

"Is it that bad?" Jackson laughed.

"Worse. But you being here should help. "Looking towards the door, Paddy lowered his voice, "Has he gone?"

"Yeah but something tells me he won't be long."

"This won't take long."

Paddy suddenly sounded very serious and Jackson was reminded of the 'talk' he and Chas had had. Seating himself down beside the older man he eyed him expectantly.

"I just wanted to thank you, for being there for Aaron. It's been a difficult time for him and you've got him through it..."

Jackson was embarrassed now and started to protest, "Paddy..."

Paddy waved off the interruption, "All that stuff with his dad, and his mum and Carl last week, I know you helped him deal with it. That and a lot of other things."

"Well that's what you do when you care about somebody. You know that." Jackson added meaningfully.

"Yes, and it comes easily doesn't it? When you love them!" Paddy watched as Jackson coyly looked away. "So you don't regret stopping by that Sunday morning then?"

Grinning, Jackson shook his head and met the older man's mischievous gaze, "I think you know the answer to that."

"I know you've been good for him. That you're the best thing that ever happened to him...and that he knows that too."

Before Jackson could respond he heard the front door opening. That meant the end of their conversation, still he knew Paddy had managed to get across all he'd wanted to. Smiling at the older man he said "Thanks." He'd just been given a much needed nudge in the right direction.

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Face to Face

Part 29

Paddy had blamed tiredness for his disappearing up the stairs so early. Aaron had believed him but Jackson knew the older man was just getting out of their way, giving them some time alone together.

They'd been used to having the house to themselves, and Aaron had been openly demonstrative since their first night together, but not tonight, not in front of Paddy. Having a parental figure in the room was one way to cool your ardour!

The three of them had watched a DVD, the one Aaron had bought for Paddy so very recently. When that had finished Paddy had yawned and took himself off to bed.

"Do you think he's alright?" Aaron had asked, Jackson had reassured him then stopped him voicing anymore concerns on Paddy's health by kissing him. A long tender melding of lips. When Jackson began to deepen the kiss, Aaron pulled away, "Paddy's upstairs!"

Jackson grinned, "He can't see us from there!"

"What if he comes down?"

Jackson was certain he wouldn't but it wouldn't bother him if he did, and it shouldn't bother Aaron either. "Then he'll get an eyeful of us snogging! It's not going to come as any great surprise to him now is it?"

"No."

"And it's not like he hasn't done his fair share of it himself."

Aaron cringed, he'd seen Paddy and his mum locking lips on that very sofa countless times, not a pretty sight! Suddenly he wasn't very comfortable where he was sitting and he got to his feet. "C'mon,"

"Where?"

"Bed."

Jackson remained seated, "But Paddy's up there!" he wasn't so comfortable with that idea. Tonsil hockey on the sofa was one thing. Up close and personal in the bedroom with Paddy just yards away was going to take a bit of getting used to!

Now it was Aaron's turn to be amused, "As long as you aren't as noisy as you were last night, he won't hear a thing."

Jackson's eyes widened in alarm, "What?"

"You were snoring."

Jackson grinned, "I don't snore."

"Yes you do." Aaron assured him, "I should know."

Jackson got to his feet, "Well you talk in your sleep."

"No I don't!" Aaron protested, at least he hoped he didn't.

"Yes you do. "Jackson said thoughtfully. Aaron often called out his name, sometimes softly, sometimes passionately like he did during the throes of their lovemaking and sometimes his voice would be panic filled, as if he were lost to him. He'd pull him closer then, hold him tight. Tell him he was there and that he loved him. It was so easy to say those three words when the object of your affections was lost to the real world. Not so easy when they were looking so intently into your eyes, wondering what was suddenly weighing on your mind.

"Jackson?"

Was there a right time to say it? Was there a wrong time? He needed to know because he wanted to get it right.

It would be so easy to say it as passion soared or when the resulting ecstasy seeped into your soul. But love wasn't just about that, it was about so many things. Being in love and loving someone was different too, at least he thought it was although right now he couldn't separate the two.

Maybe he just thought too hard about things? Maybe he was dithering about it because he wasn't sure! The little voice inside his head kept reminding him that it had only been a month! Longer though if you counted the weeks of uncertainty when he'd first reached out to Aaron, and had been knocked back time and time again. But as rocky and as uncertain as that time had been there had been a connection between them. That's when he'd first started to care about Aaron Livesy.

He was sure. His heart and his head in total agreement this time. He loved Aaron, and Aaron needed to know that.

"Jackson? What..."

Lifting his hand to gently caress Aaron's cheek Jackson said softly, "Remember I said it would be easy to love you, if you let me?"

Aaron nodded, his heart thundering up into his throat making speech impossible.

"Well you did and I do...love you I mean." He could have put it better, waited for a more appropriate time, but that wouldn't have made it anymore true.

So there it was out in the open, electrifying the air between them.

He hadn't believed Jackson that night; he hadn't believed anyone could love him, not in that way. Not some messed up hot tempered Chav! He didn't like himself so why should anyone else? Especially someone so level headed and decent.

He'd told Paddy he didn't want to fall in love. That at eighteen all he wanted was to have some fun. He'd stupidly believed that would be enough. He hadn't wanted to share another man's bed; he was terrified of such intimacy and was determined to avoid it at all costs. But then he'd fallen asleep in Jackson's arms and woken up wanting him in every possible way.

After, he'd cried like a baby, Jackson had understood why and had kissed away every last tear. That's when he knew he could love another man and be loved back. But actually saying those words, well that wasn't easy for him. Jackson knew that, he'd picked up on it, telling him that with love came strength. And he was so much stronger now. The world didn't scare him anymore and he was ready to tell Jackson, and the world for that matter, that he loved him too.

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Face to Face

Part 30

It was four months now since a drunken Gordon Livesy had run Paddy down. He was now three weeks into a lengthy jail sentence.

Aaron had said the term handed down to his father wasn't long enough. Paddy though thought it excessive. He couldn't help but feel guilty about it. He knew that despite everything Aaron still loved his dad although he would never admit it. He wouldn't admit he was struggling with the fact his father had been imprisoned either. But it was obvious to all around him. He'd been quiet and moody for a good few days after hearing the news. Paddy had tried to talk to him about it but each time he'd broached the subject the younger man had either ignored him or bitten his head off.

So Paddy had asked Jackson if he knew what was going on in the teens head. Jackson had been able to reassure him saying Aaron was working through it in his own way and would be fine.

That had been good enough for Paddy, he trusted Jackson especially where Aaron was concerned. No one understood Aaron better than he did. And Jackson had been right of course. Aaron was soon back to his normal self, or had been until now.

Mornings were usually fairly noisy affairs in Smithy Cottage, the radio would be on. Aaron turning it up to an ear blistering level, Paddy turning it down to preserve both his eardrums and his sanity. Light conversation would be made through mouthfuls of tea, toast and cornflakes.

But not so this morning, Aaron had stayed at Jackson's the night before, arriving home just as Paddy was buttering himself some toast. He handed it over to Aaron then made some more for himself. He was soon aware something was wrong. Aaron was quiet, seemed distracted, and showed no interest in eating. When the bottomless pit was off his food Paddy worried.

He wondered if it had anything to do with Jackson. The builder's present job took him thirty miles the other side of Congleton, so this last couple of weeks he'd spent almost every night at his flat, it cut a good chunk off his travelling time although it meant him and Aaron had spent less time together.

Watching as Aaron stared blankly into his cup of tea Paddy's concern finally got the better of him. "Have you two had a row or something?"

"Who?"

"You and Jackson."

"No, why?"

"Because you've got a face like a slapped arse! What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing!"

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah!"

"So nothing's wrong?"

"No."

"Well tell your face that then!"

Aaron smiled in an exaggerated fashion, earning a roll of the eyes from Paddy.

But there was something wrong, well not wrong exactly. Not wrong at all in fact. He just didn't know how to tell Paddy about it, certain the older man wouldn't be as happy about his news as he was.

"Paddy."

"Yeah?"

"I..." He'd lost his nerve and instead of saying what he wanted to say said, "I'm staying at Jackson's again tonight."

Paddy nodded his understanding as he munched on his toast.

Paddy didn't seem to have a problem with him staying at Jackson's for the odd night but how would he feel about it becoming something more permanent? How would he feel about him moving out of his place and in with Jackson? What if he hated the idea? What if he thought it was too soon to be taking that step? What if he tried to talk him out of it? What if the news upset him in some way? What if he asked him not to go? What then?

He couldn't imagine Paddy trying to stand in his way but then he couldn't imagine leaving Paddy or the place that had been home to him for the past few years.

Jackson had asked him to move in the night before, told him to take some time and give the idea plenty of thought before he decided. He hadn't needed to give it any thought though. It was what he wanted and he'd told Jackson that. Then Jackson had asked him how he thought Paddy would take the news. That had thrown him. That had put a dampener on things.

"Car going alright?" Paddy asked between sips of tea, he thought maybe that's what Aaron was fretting about. The car was his pride and joy! It didn't sound right to Paddy, but then it hadn't done ever since Aaron had put a new exhaust on it! He could hear him coming a mile away; Edna Birch had complained about the noise just yesterday, she said it frightened Tootsie!"

"Yeah!" Aaron gave Paddy an indignant look, with all the tinkering he'd done with it, it was running like a dream. It looked good too, gone were the dents and scratches, and it was polished to perfection. He'd been determined that Paddy would get his money back and more when he put it back on eBay, But as soon as he'd done all the necessary repair work, Paddy had pressed the keys into his hand and said. "Yours I think." It turned out Paddy had had no intention of selling the car; but letting Aaron think he was for several weeks was just his way of punishing him for being so out of line that day. Paddy had helped him out with the insurance; there was no way he could have afforded it otherwise. He'd been behind the wheel all legal like for the last month or so and now that he had his own set of wheels getting from Jackson's place to work was no longer a problem.

Getting up from the table Paddy placed his mug and plate in the sink, looking over his shoulder at Aaron he said, "It's your turn to wash up."

Aaron nodded then watched Paddy walk towards his surgery. He was back at work full time now and if he didn't tell him now he wouldn't have chance again until tonight, it couldn't wait that long.

"Paddy!" Aaron called hurrying after the older man.

Paddy was standing by the now open surgery door eyeing him expectantly.

"Jackson's asked me to move in with him and I'm going to." The words were finally out but he didn't feel any better for saying them.

"What? Right!" Paddy swallowed his shock and forced his mouth to form a smile, smiling was the last thing he felt like doing right now," Well that's good news! Great news!"

"Yeah," Aaron said, although he hadn't expected Paddy to sound or look so pleased about it.

"When?" Paddy asked, wondering how long he had to get used to the idea, knowing that he probably never would.

When? They hadn't discussed when yet? In the next couple of months maybe. There was no real hurry; they lived in each other's pockets as it was. It was just the next step and they both wanted to take it. But seen as Paddy was so keen to know, like it was something he was looking forward to, Aaron said the first thing that came into his head, "Next weekend."

Next weekend! It was Wednesday now. "Well that's not far off." Paddy said forcing some cheer into his voice; he wanted to sound more enthusiastic about the idea than he actually was. Why was Aaron in such a hurry to leave home?

"No." Aaron said, wondering how Jackson would feel when he turned up with his toothbrush first thing Saturday morning.

"Well you'd better get cracking on your packing!" Paddy grinned before quickly turning around to hide his faltering composure.

Aaron stared at Paddy's back; it seemed the conversation was over. "Yeah." He'd start that very same night!

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Part 31

Aaron had asked Cain if he could finish early, he couldn't keep his mind on the job. Cain had been ok with that saying he wasn't much use to him in the mood he was in anyway.

As he'd walked up through the village, he saw Carl King coming towards him in one of his vans, the older man pulled up alongside of him.

"Alright?"

"Yeah. You?" Things were still awkward between them but they were both trying for Chas' sake.

Carl nodded, "Your mum says she hasn't seen you in a while..."

"I know, I'll call round tomorrow."

"See you then."

"Yeah." The exchange had been short and sweet, that's how they both tried to keep it.

Carrying on up the road Aaron realised he still had to tell his mum about his moving out. He wasn't looking forward to her reaction. She was bound to say something he didn't like, he'd overreact and then they'd get into a shouting match. They were much closer these days but they still fell out, as regular as clockwork!

He could see the surgery door was open; Paddy's car parked outside, so he knew the older man was there and busy. He'd get a shower and head over to Jackson's; he didn't feel much like talking to Paddy right now.

Half an hour later he was about to get in his car when Paddy's not so dulcet tones got his attention.

"Oi!"

"What?"

"Where you going?"

"Out."

"Not until you've taken Clyde for a walk you're not."

Clyde! He'd forgotten all about him. Shutting his car door he walked back to the house, Paddy had disappeared back in through the surgery door and Aaron had been surprised to find him waiting for him in the kitchen, Clyde's lead in his hand.

"When did you last take him?"

Aaron shrugged, "Yesterday." Or was it the day before? He wasn't sure. He had been neglecting him the last few days. But Paddy usually picked up the slack at such times, he didn't usually mind.

"That's not good enough," Paddy snapped, "You wanted him, you can't just forget about him because you're all loved up!"

The comment made Aaron squirm, that and the fact Paddy was angry at him. Anyone would think he'd forgotten to feed Clyde too. He wanted to yell back but instead clamped his mouth shut and reached out for the lead.

Paddy slapped the lead into Aaron's hand, "And don't think you're leaving him here with me when you go, you take him with you."

That was it! Aaron just had to retaliate, "Like I'd leave him with you anyway!"

"Meaning?"

"Well you never wanted him. You were going to put him down!"

"With good reason! He was wild, I couldn't find him a home and I had enough on my plate as it was."

"Meaning me!" Now that had hurt, yes he'd given Paddy a hard time but he didn't think he still resented him for it.

"No!" Paddy hadn't meant that at all. Him and Chas were pussyfooting around each other at the time. Him wanting her to move in, her not so keen especially when he'd undermined her where Aaron was concerned. He hadn't wanted any kind of distraction not when he was trying so hard to get his own house in order. But Aaron had been so good with the dog, so gentle and caring and Clyde had responded. He hadn't seen that side of Aaron before. The boy knew what it was like to not be wanted, to be judged, to be written off as no good. Paddy had hoped that if the lad could relate to Clyde then maybe he would help him relate to those who cared about him.

Giving Paddy a scathing look Aaron clipped the lead onto Clyde's collar and hurried outside before he said something he couldn't take back.  
/  
Paddy sank down into a kitchen chair. What the hell was wrong with him? He was losing Aaron and knowing that hurt like hell, yet here he was doing his damnedest to push him out the door and on his way.

They needed to talk. Rhona would be back soon, he'd get her to cover the clinic and then sit Aaron down and clear the air.

Clyde didn't travel well and Aaron could only hope he wouldn't puke up on the way to Jackson's. He'd taken him for quick walk, put him in the car then slipped quietly into the house and thrown some clothes into a bag. He'd come back for the rest of his stuff when he knew for sure Paddy was out.

/

Jackson had an inkling something was wrong when he saw Aaron's car parked outside his place, he was supposed to be going over to Aaron's tonight.

When Clyde bounded over to greet him as he walked through the door, he knew for certain something was up. Catching sight of a sports bag, seemingly stuffed with clothes he heaved a sigh. "Aaron?"

He found the younger man sprawled on the sofa, watching the TV. Pointing at Clyde Jackson said, "We seem to have a lodger!"

"He won't be any trouble." Aaron snapped.

"What's happened?"

"Nothing."

"Something has." Jackson said, holding up the sports bag he pulled out a pair of Aaron's socks to make his point.

"Me moving in was your idea!"

"Yes I know. It's one of the best I've ever had but..."

"Have you changed your mind?" Aaron demanded getting to his feet and snatching first the bag and then the socks to stuff them irritably back inside it.

"No, I just wasn't expecting it to happen today, and you know the lease says I can't keep a dog."

"Well I'll have Paddy put him down then. Problem solved. Clyde c'mon." Aaron made for the door.

"If you walk out that door, I won't come after you." Although he'd said it, Jackson didn't actually mean it; of course he'd go after the man he loved, the man he knew for a fact loved him.

Aaron swung around, "I don't want you to, I don't need you."

"Yes you do." Jackson said softly, aware Aaron was hurting badly right now, he needed to know why. "What's happened between you and Paddy?"

Aaron shrugged, he didn't know, but suddenly they were at each other's throats, and he hated it.

"You told him you were thinking of moving in with me?" It had to be that Jackson reasoned.

"Yeah, I told him you'd asked me to and that I was."

Jackson nodded. Knowing Aaron he'd probably been blunt and to the point, Paddy's feelings not really catered for. "He didn't take it very well then?"

"He was really pleased, like he couldn't wait to get rid of me!"

Jackson wanted to laugh at that comment but thought better of it, no way was it true. "So he put on a brave face."

"What?"

"Pretended he was alright with the idea when he wasn't."

Is that what he was doing? "Yeah." That's exactly what he was doing, only Aaron hadn't realised that at the time."

"So how did that..." Jackson paused and pointed at the sports bag, "come to this?"

"We had words."

"Then you did a runner?"

"No!" He'd thought it best he get out before one of them said something they would regret. No that wasn't true! He'd took off with Clyde before, when he'd thought Paddy didn't give a toss about him. He'd been a stupid kid then, he should know better now.

Gripping Aaron gently by the forearms Jackson said, "You two have been through so much these past six months. I think he'll find it hard to let you go, and maybe you're not ready yet to let him go. I want you here with me but not hurting like this and not knowing Paddy's feeling the same way."

"So what do I do?" Aaron asked, not sure of how best to make things right with Paddy?

"You don't need me to tell you that."

/

"The little..." Paddy bit back on his reproach. He'd decided to check Aaron's room on seeing both his car and Clyde gone. Now he found there were clothes missing too! Was that him gone for good then?

Just like the other times Aaron had run off he was suddenly filled with a sense of panic. He told himself not to worry, that at least this time he knew where he was and that he was safe. What really frightened him was the way things were between them, he didn't want Aaron to think he didn't care about him.

There was only one thing to do and that was to go over to Jackson's. He hurried down stairs, picked up his keys and made his way to his car. He didn't get in though; he could hear the distinct sound of a souped up Peugeot coming his way fast. He was starting to feel a whole lot better about the situation now.

Paddy leant against his car and waited and sure enough several minutes later Aaron's car appeared around the corner. Paddy watched as the younger man hauled Clyde out of the back seat swiftly followed by his bag. Then when Aaron finally met his gaze he yelled over at him, "What were you thinking?"

Aaron grinned, "You know the answer to that."

Paddy grinned back then stepped over to join Aaron, taking his bag and carrying it inside. They made their way into the kitchen, Aaron filling Clyde's bowl with water. That done the only thing left to do now was talk. They stood facing each other, Paddy the first to speak.

"I don't want you to go. Ten, twenty years down the line I probably still won't want you to go. And that's because I care about you, that and the fact I'll miss you and all your bad habits something rotten. But I want you to be happy and I know you'll be happy with Jackson. So whenever you decide to..."

"I don't want to go, not yet, not today anyway. Maybe tomorrow...maybe next week. I just want some time to get used to the idea of not being here, of you not being..."

"Come here." Paddy held out his arms to the suddenly emotional teen.

Aaron stepped into the embrace, hugging Paddy back.

"This will always be your home. I'll always be here if you need me and I'll always love you."

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

Part 32

Paddy had picked the mail up off the hallway floor and had been surprised to find something with Aaron's name on it. Walking over to the breakfast table he handed the young man an envelope. "For you! Why can't I get something other than bills," he complained as he started to rip open the first of his letters.

"What is it?" Aaron asked, turning the envelope over in his hands, he never got mail usually.

"If you open it you'll find out!"

Aaron tore open the envelope, pulling out a neatly folded sheet of paper.

"Well?" Paddy asked as he scanned the itemized phone bill he was holding.

Aaron handed the paper over for Paddy to see.

"A visiting order!" Paddy couldn't hide his surprise.

"Put it in the bin."

"What? No, not until you've given it some thought."

"I've given it all the thought it's getting. I'm not going Paddy, end of!"

"He's been in that place over a month now; it must be tough..."

"Like I care! And you shouldn't be giving him a second thought anyway!"

"I put him them."

"No you didn't!" Aaron exclaimed, "He put himself there, don't you go feeling sorry for him Paddy, he deserves all he got and more!"

"Aren't you being a bit harsh?"

"No!" Aaron spat as he got to his feet and stormed out through the front door, slamming it behind him.

The loud display of temper had a towel clad Jackson hurrying downstairs. Hair still dripping wet from the shower he'd just taken he eyed Paddy questioningly and said, "What did I miss?"

Paddy held the letter up for Jackson to see, "This!"

Jackson took the sheet of paper from Paddy's hand and read it, "The bastard!" He spat angrily.

Paddy was a little taken aback by Jackson's reaction; he was normally so laid back.

Meeting Paddy's gaze. Jackson shook his head, "Sorry! It's just that it's going to unsettle him again isn't?" Pointing to the front door he added, "It already has."

"You don't think he should go then?"

"No! Do you?"

Paddy shrugged, "I don't know. I want what's best for Aaron, but I don't know what that is right now."

"I don't like the man Paddy. He's hurt Aaron in so many ways. He's hurting right now because of this damn thing."

Paddy nodded, Jackson was right about that, although he felt partly responsible. He shouldn't have pushed Aaron on the matter.

Scrunching up the letter and tossing it onto the table Jackson said, "I'll get dressed then go look for him."

Paddy stared down at the visiting order. How could one sheet of paper cause so much upset? More worrying still was that it could cause a lot more. Aaron had no intention of visiting his father in prison and Jackson didn't want him going. He himself didn't like the idea of it either but knowing Aaron still loved the man made him reluctant to dismiss the idea completely. He picked up the paper and after working it into its original shape folded it and tucked it into his pocket.

Just a few minutes later he heard footsteps on the stairs, then saw Jackson disappear through the door, hot on Aaron's tale.

He couldn't help but smile despite the mood of the house. Jackson was...what was the word he was looking for? Devoted! That was it. Jackson was devoted to Aaron. Aaron was lucky to have found someone who truly loved him. Sometimes Paddy wondered if he realised just how lucky he was.  
/  
Jackson hadn't had to look far for Aaron, the music booming out from his car told Jackson exactly where to find him. Getting in the passenger side he turned the volume down until it was barely audible. "Well?"

"I'm not going."

Jackson had calmed down a little now himself, as much as he disliked Gordon Livesy and he had plenty of reason to dislike him, he couldn't forget the fact the man had tried to make some amends for his treatment of his son. He'd come here and apologised. It had thrown Aaron at first but it had also helped him in some ways too. Knowing that, how could he not encourage Aaron to give some thought and consideration into visiting his father in jail?

"I didn't think it was a good idea at first but..."

"Now you do?" Aaron stared in disbelief at Jackson.

"No, I just think you should put some thought into a decision before making it, and you haven't put any thought into your decision not to go. It's a kneejerk reaction and you might regret it."

"I don't think so." Aaron spat, turning the music volume back up.

Jackson reached out and turned the volume down again, "Well until you 'know so', you give it some thought, ok?"

Aaron shrugged, he knew Jackson was right. "Ok but I'm not going to change my mind."

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

Face to Face

Part 33

Aaron had looked in the bin and it wasn't there. That had been the deciding factor, he definitely wasn't going. Then Paddy had appeared seemingly out of nowhere and said, "Are you looking for this?"

Paddy had the visiting order in his hand and hating the fact the older man had known he was looking for it, Aaron had snapped, "No!" He'd gone to work then and had been in bad mood all day. Cain eventually sending him home early so he could sort whatever was bothering him out.

His mood wasn't any better when he got home, it got worse in fact. He'd gone straight to his room and there on his unmade bed was the offending object.

After glaring at it for a while then ignoring it for an equal amount of time he finally picked it up. He really didn't want to go but some nagging little voice inside of him told him he should.

Paddy and Jackson had both offered to go with him, and wait in the car. But this was something he wanted to do alone. They hadn't been happy about that, especially Jackson. He had a problem where his father was concerned, he'd had to stop him lamping him one on several occasions. He'd told Jackson the man wasn't worth it and he'd meant it. He still meant it. Paddy was everything his father wasn't and even if he still had feelings for the man; they didn't come close to what he felt for Paddy.

That was part of the reason he didn't want to go, a big part. He felt he was betraying Paddy and all he'd done for him. Then there was the fact his dad had run Paddy down, almost killing him in the process. The very reason he was in jail.

Paddy didn't seem to bear him any ill will but Aaron knew that was because of him, as always he was protecting him, whether he needed protecting or not. He supposed he could forgive his dad for throwing him out, he'd been nothing but trouble back then and he'd asked for it. He could even forgive him for smacking him around; his mouth was always getting him into trouble, even now. But he would never forgive him for hurting Paddy; he'd always hate him for that!

The day of the visit had finally arrived, he'd not slept much, and he couldn't really blame Jackson for that. He'd spent the night and like every night that he stayed over they'd made love, last night it was the fast and furious kind. Jackson had fallen asleep before him for once which meant he could just lie there and think about today. He'd eventually dozed off and when he woke, just before the alarm he found Jackson was awake too. A kiss had turned into the slow and tender lovemaking their relationship now thrived on.

He knew he couldn't love anyone more than he loved Jackson.

Staring into the bathroom mirror he saw the tell tale sign of passion on his neck. Jackson had put that there last night and he hadn't complained at the time but suddenly he wished it gone. No! No he didn't care what his father thought. Let him see it. He wasn't ashamed of being gay now and he couldn't let the old fears overwhelm him.

Paddy and Jackson were already by the breakfast table, he usually just sat and listened to them talk in the mornings. He liked that they got on so well. But they were quite this morning, and he knew why. They were worried about him.

"What time you leaving?" Paddy asked over his mug of tea.

"Half one."

"Well if you change your mind about me or Jackson coming...

"I won't. Look there's no need. It means one of you taking time off work..."

"That doesn't matter." Jackson said.

"It does to me."

Another uncomfortable silence fell around the table and Aaron felt responsible, "I'll phone you both as soon as I come out, ok?"

Both men seemed happy about that but they remained quiet and Aaron decided to leave for work early, telling them he was making up a little of the time he'd lose that afternoon.

Paddy had remained seated but had told him he hoped everything went alright in the afternoon, Jackson had walked with him to the door, kissing him before reminding him to phone him.

He'd heaved a sigh of relief when he got out into the cool autumn air, As much as he loved both men he struggled with their concern at times.

Now all he needed for a hat trick was his mother! She'd no doubt be putting in an appearance before he left too. Or before even...he could see her now! She was walking up the hill towards him, waving and smiling and now shouting his name like he was in the next county.

"Mam?"

"Hiya. You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Good. About this afternoon..."

"What about it?"

"I thought I could maybe tag along and..."

"No!" If he wasn't prepared to let Jackson or Paddy come he certainly wasn't going to have her there.

"It's not going to be easy..."

"It's no big deal! I'm going to enjoy seeing him behind bars, where he belongs."

"No you're not. It's going to hurt..."

"No." Aaron was certain about that. "Look I'll give you a ring as soon as I come out."

"Yeah." Chas forced a smile, she's have to settle for that.

He'd made for the garage then leaving his mother standing there. She could be so stupid at times, of course it wasn't going to hurt!

Ryan and Cain were chattier than usual this morning, and the jokes were flowing freely. He knew what they were doing and he was grateful to them. But when the time came he didn't tell them he was going, he just snuck off when they weren't looking, he didn't want them saying anything supportive, he might just snap at them and they deserved better than that.

He had thought about going in his work overalls, make it look like he'd fitted the visit in around work. Then he'd changed his mind and showered and changed, arriving at the prison with little time to spare to think about what would happen when he got inside.

He got out of his car and then joined a queue of people making their way in. Zak had told him what to expect once inside and what to take with him. He'd taken his driving licence as proof of identity. After leaving his property in a locker and being searched he was finally being led to the visiting area. Up until now he'd been calm, unbothered by it all but suddenly he was very nervous. His heart was thundering in his chest and the palms of his hands sweaty. Once in the room he looked around hoping against foolish hope that his father wouldn't be there. But right at the back in the corner he saw a familiar face. Now all he had to do was walk over to him and sit down. He could do this, he told himself, as much as he didn't want to!

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

Face to Face

Part 34

His father had seen him and was now gesturing in his direction, trying to get his attention. 'There was no turning back now,' he told himself. He made his way over slowly, he was in no hurry to get there, and any second he could waste he would.

"Aaron."

His father was smiling at him and he had the sudden urge to knock the smile off his face. He hadn't come to play happy families, he'd come to ask why he'd dared send him a visiting order.

He sat down and glared across the partitioning table at the older man.

Gordon Livesy's smile quickly faded, unnerved by the way his son was looking at him, "I didn't think you'd come."

"I didn't want to come."

"Did Paddy persuade you?" Gordon knew he had Paddy Kirk to thank for a lot of things where his son was concerned; this was probably down to him too.

"Don't!" Aaron spat, "Don't you even say his name." Where the hell had that come from? It had taken him by surprise just like it had his father.

"Sorry. I know you..."

"You know nothing about me. You said so yourself."

"Yes I did. I..."

"What do you want?"

"Just to talk..."

"Is that all because I don't want to talk to you."

"I know you don't think very much of me..."

"I hate you." Aaron stated quietly.

Gordon nodded, he'd expected that. "You've got reason to."

"So what do you want?" He'd raised his voice and heads were turning to look at him, but he didn't care.

"I suppose I just want to get to know my son."

Aaron snorted, unable to believe what he was hearing, "You didn't want to know me before! You threw me out."

"You were out of control then Aaron. Wild and...and wilful, I couldn't do anything with you."

"You didn't try."

"I did..."

"No. You didn't want to know when Sandra came along; you always put her first..."

"She was my wife..."

"I was your son!"

"And you still are."

"No." Aaron shook his head vehemently, "not since you turned your back on me."

"I was wrong to do that I know. I regret it."

"I don't. Paddy took me in."

"He's been good to you I know."

"Good to me!" Aaron exclaimed, he was getting emotional now despite all his promises to himself not to. He had little control over what came out of his mouth when he got like this, he either hurled abuse or opened his heart and he usually regretted doing both, but not this time. "He's been a father to me. The sort of father you should have been. He straightened me out as 'wild and wilful' as I was! See I wasn't a hopeless case. I just needed someone on my side, someone who would listen to me. Someone who stood by me no matter what. Someone who knew when I was hurting and took the time to find out why. And he's loved me for who I am, faults and all!"

"I never stopped loving you."

His father had raised his voice this time and they were once again the centre of attention, he was embarrassed now and had to drop his gaze.

Uncomfortably aware himself now of the stares and whispering going on around him Livesy lowered his voice, "I've always loved you but at times you made it so difficult to like you."

Aaron shook his head, he'd played Paddy up too, gave him hell, but he'd never given up on him. If his father had tried half as hard as Paddy had they wouldn't be here now.

"I was fourteen when you moved Sandra in; I just needed you to..."

"To what?"

"To listen to me."

"All you did was lie!"

"No, not at first, she lied to you about me, I tried to tell you...but you just hit me!"

He was squirming in his seat now, ashamed of his actions but still there had been some cause for what he'd done, "You never showed her any respect..."

"She hadn't earned any!"

Gordon shook his head, he'd found himself in a difficult position back then, torn between his future wife and his son, he'd handled it badly but Aaron really had made things difficult for them all, "Aaron, you were so sullen, so moody so..."

"I had so much stuff going on in my head, all these feelings inside of me. I was scared and confused and I needed somebody to talk to but I couldn't talk to you about it, not even if you'd have listened."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry you didn't think you could talk to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. But I can be here for you now."

"What?"

"We've cleared the air a little haven't we? We could put everything that's happened behind us in time and be what we should be, father and son."

"No."

"Aaron please..."

"You've got another son, shouldn't you be concentrating on him?"

Livesy looked down at his hands, trying to hide the surge of emotion the comment had caused.

"What?" Aaron hadn't missed it, "He's alright isn't he?" Why was he suddenly bothered he never gave his brother...half brother any thought any other time."

"Sandra's divorced me, she's moved away, away from the scandal. She's fighting for sole custody and I've no doubt she'll get it."

As the words registered so did the truth. That was why his father was suddenly interested in talking to him. He'd lost his family and he was alone, would be alone when he eventually got out of jail. But he had spare son knocking about so why not bring him in out of the cold.

His mother had said it would hurt seeing his father in jail, she was half right, he was hurting right now but not because his father was locked up in here, he could rot here for all he cared. Getting to his feet he looked his father in the eye and said, "He's better off without you."

He could hear his father calling his name as he walked away, he was still calling after him as the guard closed the door behind him.

TBC


	35. Chapter 35

Face to Face

Part 35

Jackson checked his watch, it was 2.20. Only five minutes since he'd last checked the time. It seemed a lot longer.

He was sitting in his van, worrying instead of working, well he couldn't do both, well he could but he tended to make mistakes and that usually proved costly and costly ate into his profits and his profits were negligible at the best of times...he was rambling to himself again! A sure sign that he was worried.

He hoped everything was going well with Aaron and his father but he had a nagging suspicion that a pile of the brown and smelly stuff was about to hit the fan.

He made no secret of the fact he disliked Gordon Livesy, he didn't know anybody who did. Understandably Aaron had feelings for him and that's why he'd agreed to the visit.

Aaron hadn't mentioned the visit in the days prior, he had steered well clear of the subject. Jackson hadn't pushed him to talk but Paddy lacked the same self control and had had his head bitten off for his pains.

2.25! Maybe he needed a new battery? He'd stop and get one on his way home.

The visit was an hour long which meant Aaron should be out soon after three, or before if things didn't go so well. Another half an hour or less and he'd know what had gone on and how it had impacted on Aaron.

/

2.25! Clock watching, Paddy decided, was like watching paint dry or grass grow. He'd hoped for a busy afternoon's surgery, a rush of clients to keep his mind occupied but sod's law ruled the day and with only a constipated budgie and a puppy to check over he'd spent most of the last hour staring at the damned clock.

He wished Aaron had let Jackson go with, he'd have felt a lot happier knowing he was there. But Aaron's stubborn streak ran a mile wide and he'd been determined to go alone. Why though? Was he trying to prove something to himself? Or was he just fed up of their cloying concern. They were both guilty of it, him and Jackson, although Jackson could disguise his better, and usually got away with it.

"Here!"

Pearl had just pressed another cup of tea into his hands, his umpteenth of the day. She swore by the stuff. No matter the ill, it cured all.

"Thanks." Unfortunately it didn't stop him worrying, nothing would.

He heard the door open and breathed a sigh of relief, a customer, no matter how big or small he could lose himself in its problem for a while at least.

"Hiya!"

"Chas!" unless she was here to be wormed or treated for fleas he really didn't want to know!

"Have you heard from him yet?"

"No."

"No nor me, but then he'd phone you first."

"No he'd phone Jackson first." Which is how it should be Paddy thought to himself.

"Jackson should have gone with him."

"Aaron wouldn't let him." Chas already knew this so why were they going over the same old ground? He knew the answer to that of course. Like him, Chas would have felt better if Jackson was with her son.

/

He'd collected his stuff then gone through the exiting procedure. Finally stepping out into the fresh October air. He inhaled deeply in an effort to get the prison smell out of his nose. If only he could get rid of the nasty taste his visit had left him with too.

He had phone calls to make but right now he couldn't trust himself to speak. Head down he walked towards where his car was parked, unaware he was being watched.

He shouldn't have come; he'd gained nothing from the visit, he'd just been left with an empty feeling inside. He wasn't sure how to fill that space. With anger maybe or hate?

No. He'd spent so much time ridding himself of those two things, he couldn't let them take root again.

What did he tell Jackson? He'd want to know everything but sometimes it was easier to keep the hurt to yourself,

Jackson shook his head, he could tell just by looking at Aaron that things had gone badly. Even though it was what he'd expected he wasn't ready for it, not seeing him hurting like that.

He wasn't going to like the fact he was there either, that he'd gone against his wishes and waited outside for him. He'd just been so certain he'd need him. He might not want to admit that yet though.

He threw open the van door and got out. He'd managed to park behind Aaron but the younger man hadn't seen him yet. "Aaron." He watched the younger man's head snap up.

"What're you doing here?"

"I know you didn't want me here but..."

"Why'd you come then?" Aaron demanded irritably.

With just inches separating them now Jackson said, "I just thought you might need to hear me say I love you, right about now."

Aaron swallowed hard. That was exactly what he needed to hear right now.

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Face to Face

Part 36

Jackson knew Aaron wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection but they were in a quiet corner of a prison car park, not in the middle of a busy high street, so he pulled him into his arms and held him tight. He felt him first tense and then relax to finally melt against him. It was a brief hug, a simple show of affection and of support and now as he gripped the younger mans upper arms maintaining the physical contact he asked. "Do you want to talk about it now or later?"

Aaron shook his head; he didn't want to talk about it at all.

"I think maybe now's a good time!" Jackson stated, Aaron's unwillingness to talk meant he was hurting badly about whatever had happened. "C'mon, we'll sit in the van."

He shifted in his seat, where did he start? Maybe with the obvious, "I shouldn't have come."

No, Jackson thought, you shouldn't have, but he had and they had to deal with the aftermath. "What did he want?"

Aaron sighed, "He said he wanted to get to know me."

That sounded understandable enough to Jackson, Livesy was missing out on a great deal not being a part of his son's life.

"He said he'd always loved me."

Jackson was sure that was true but the man had a very strange way of showing it!

"He was still siding with Sandra though. Saying I didn't show her any respect. He said I was wild, that he didn't know what to do with me. What happened was still all my fault."

That wasn't true, and even if it was, Aaron was just a kid, Livesy the adult; he should have weathered the storms like the majority of fathers did.

"He said he was sorry that he hadn't been there for me, sorry that I hadn't been able to talk to him, about being gay. He said he would be there for me now, that he wanted to be."

That was good wasn't it? Jackson was undecided, Aaron had Paddy, he couldn't ever imagine him going to his father with anything but still the offer was there.

"I thought...well I told myself I didn't need him, would never want him for anything but maybe I should leave that door open. But then that door got slammed shut in my face."

"What do you mean?"

"Because of what he did to Paddy, the prison sentence, he's lost his other son. That's why I'm suddenly good enough to be a part of his life; I'm all the family he's got now so he's prepared to make do and mend." Looking beseechingly into the soulful brown depths of his lover's eyes Aaron asked, "I deserve better than that don't I?"

"Yes of course you do!" Jackson insisted, wrapping his arms around Aaron again.

/

He'd phoned Paddy, then his mum, just to say he was ok and on his way home, he'd not given them chance to ask questions. He'd fill them both in when he got back.

As he pulled up outside of Smithy Cottage, Paddy and his mum appeared by the surgery door. He'd been emotional since his visit with his dad, and seeing them standing there together like they were a couple stirred up the emotions again. When his feelings were that close to the surface he could admit to wishing they had stayed together.

Telling himself he could now kill two birds with one stone now, he gestured to the front door; he didn't want Pearl or one of Paddy's customers hearing what he had to say.

The three of them were soon sitting around the kitchen table. He knew Paddy would hold back on any questions, that was his way, he'd give him all the time he needed but his mam? No!

"So what did he want?"

He couldn't go through it all again, he didn't want them knowing how much his dad had hurt him, that would only hurt them and he tried not to hurt them anymore, he loved them both too much. "He just wants to keep in touch."

"Is that all?" Chas asked.

"Yeah."

Paddy knew there was more to it than that but now wasn't the time to push. Still there was one question he had to ask, "Are you going to?"

"No."

"Good."

His mam was happy about his decision, and for her the matter was now closed. But Paddy had his mouth clamped shut; Aaron knew he was now saving his thoughts and questions until they were alone.

His phone was ringing now and he was more than grateful for the intrusion. It was Jackson. "What? When?"

Paddy and his Mam were both looking at him now, aware he was suddenly worried about something. As soon as he ended the call they both said in unison, "What's wrong?"

"It's Jackson's mum. She's back in the country and she wants to meet me!"

That had thrown him, and he couldn't understand Paddy's or his Mum's reaction, they were both grinning at him now. "What?"

Paddy's grin widened before he said teasingly, "Ooh meeting the in-laws, always an experience that!"

"It is when you meet my lot!" Chas laughed.

Aaron shook his head, some help they were in soothing his concerns. He was dreading this. What would Hazel Walsh make of him?

/

They were curled up together on the sofa, watching the end of film credits roll up the screen. It was late, after midnight, Paddy long since gone to bed. They about to do the same, only Aaron had something on his mind and he wanted it aired.

"Do you think she'll like me?"

"My mum?"

"Who else?"

"Yeah I'm sure she will, I hope she does but if she doesn't no matter, I'll still love you."

Jackson was grinning at him now, someone else who found his unease all so very funny. "So when she tells you that you can do better you'll just ignore her?"

The mirth was gone from Jackson's face now "She's got no reason to say that!"

"She will when she finds out all about me. That I punched you."

"She already knows."

"What?"

"You know she phones me every week, she's always asking about you so I've kind of told her all about you."

Aaron was gaping at the older man. How was he going to look Jackson's mum in the eye now?

They both heard the light knock on the door and turned towards it instantly. Aaron getting to his feet and stepping over to it quickly. No one called at that time of night not unless there was something wrong.

He found his mother standing on the other side of the door, her suitcase and several bags at her feet. He could tell she'd been crying. "Mam?"

"I've left Carl."

TBC


	37. Chapter 37

Face to Face

Part 37

Jackson had brought Chas' stuff inside while Aaron had taken her arm and steered her in out of the cold and over to the sofa. Seated now Chas was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue trying to wipe away a new crop of tears.

The two young men looked on waiting for her to regain some composure. But as the minutes passed, Aaron, not known for his patience was unable to hold back any longer and asked, "Have you had a row?" His mam and Carl bickered all the time but their rows were few and far between, but when they did row they were usually spectacular events.

"You could say that." Chas sniffed.

"It'll blow over." Aaron insisted, they always did. He thought that had been the right thing to say, that it would give her some comfort but instead she'd buried her face in her hands as sob after sob wracked her frame. Horrified he looked at Jackson, he always knew what to say so why wasn't he saying something now and helping him out? Jackson was staring back at him looking as unsure of what to do as him.

"Maybe I should leave you two alone..."

"No!" Don't you dare, Aaron thought, then on a sudden impulse he sat down beside his mother and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Mam, c'mon. It's not that bad is it?"

Through her tears and in between sobs Chas had said something. It took a little while for it to register but when it did Aaron wasn't convinced he'd heard right, he didn't want to have heard right, "What?"

Chas spoke the words again, louder and clearer, more in control now as if the saying of them had given her strength. "He's been having an affair."

Jackson's eyes were now on Aaron, his concern centred there too. What he'd feared on hearing Chas' explanation now manifesting itself before his very eyes. The tension was spreading through the younger man's body like wildfire, eating effortlessly through the barriers. Flashing dangerously in the blue eyes, before igniting a rage that drove Aaron to his feet and towards the door.

But having seen the reaction coming Jackson was ready for him. Grabbing hold of Aaron's arms he was now wrestling with him, trying to prevent him from leaving as he tried to break through the anger with words, words designed to talk him down.

In the background irritating his already raw nerves Chas, now on her feet and pleading with her son to calm down. He wanted to tell her to shut up, to get out, that this was all her doing... but that would keep. Aaron always came first, he always would. Right now he hated Chas for never putting him first in her life.

Aaron was calmer now, no longer struggling against him, he was listening to him now, his blue eyes focused on his. Letting himself be led back over to the sofa but refusing to sit, instead pacing out what was left of his ire.

Chas was watching his every movement, desperate to say the right thing to her son, "He's not worth it! I know he's not."

"Then why the hell did you come here?" Jackson demanded, no longer able to control the anger he felt.

"What?" A startled Chas eyed Jackson warily.

Aaron had stopped in his tracks taken aback by Jackson's outburst. His gaze settling on the older man watching as he took a step closer to his mother invading her personal space.

"You knew how Aaron would react. Or is that what you wanted, him losing it and going after Carl?"

"No of course it wasn't!" Chas screeched back. "I was going to Lisa's but then I saw your light on."

"What's going on?"

All three sets of eyes turned to look at Paddy; pyjama clad he was now standing in the doorway looking back at them through bleary and questioning eyes.

Aaron was more than a little relieved to see him, emotions were running high and someone needed to take control of the situation.

"Carl's been sleeping with Eve!" Chas stated matter-of-factly before dissolving into floods of tears.

With Aaron and Jackson seemingly rooted to the spot, Paddy hurried to her side, wrapping her in a comforting hug.

Aaron didn't like what he saw now; alarm bells were going off in his head. But when Paddy gestured to the kitchen and the words ''Tea with plenty of sugar" rolled off his tongue he quickly headed to the next room eager to escape the unbearable tension that lingered in the living room.

He heard the door shut behind him and knew Jackson had followed him; he spun around glaring at the older man. "What was all that about?"

"You tell me." Jackson spat back, his temper wasn't back in its box yet either.

"She's upset enough!"

"You were all set to deck Carl!"

"He's asked for it."

"No he hasn't!" Jackson stormed closer to Aaron worried he was still intent on lamping Carl King. "He's done the dirty on her yes but that doesn't mean you can go round his and punch his lights out. You'd be in the wrong then and for what? She'll go back to him she always does."

"No! Not this time."

"Aaron, they're like a pair of slippers, ones no good without the other! No matter what happens between them they'll always get back together."

"No. You heard her she said he's not worth it."

"How many times has she said that before?"

"It's different this time."

"Why because you want it to be?"

The door was opening, Paddy stepping in through it, glaring at the two of them as he quickly closed it behind him.

"Do you two want your heads banging together or what? We can hear everything you're saying...shouting to each other in there you know! And what happened to the tea?"

As Aaron turned back around switching on the kettle and busying himself putting milk into cups, Jackson sat himself down at the kitchen table, wondering if he should just go home and leave them to it. He heard Paddy heave a sigh then open the door, a second later he was calling Chas' name, then he was belowing over his shoulder to the kitchen's occupants that she'd gone.

'Good' Jackson thought but when Aaron hurried after Paddy he found himself quickly following him.

"I'll go get her." Aaron said as he made for the door.

"No I think it's best I do. Paddy insisted.

Jackson shook his head, he didn't trust either one of them with their feelings where Chas was concerned. "I'll go! I owe her an apology anyway."

TBC


	38. Chapter 38

Face to Face

Part 38

Aaron looked Paddy up and down, "Get dressed, she'll be back in a minute!"

Paddy glanced down at his nightwear, "Your mum's seen me like this before." She'd seen him in and out of his pyjamas 'but' Paddy thought wistfully, 'that was a long time ago now.'

Aaron screwed up his face, he hadn't wanted another reminder of the time his mam and Paddy were sharing the same bed. She hadn't spent that many nights there though, she'd soon hopped into Carl's, breaking Paddy's heart in the process. Aaron knew that the older man would take her back at the drop of a hat, and that he'd only end up heartbroken again. His mother being here now, in such a vulnerable state, was not a good idea but one night wouldn't hurt surely? He'd take her up to Zak's himself first thing in the morning, much safer for all concerned that she cry on Lisa' shoulder and not Paddy's!

Jackson had sprinted after Chas, quickly catching her up; they'd then begun a tug-of-war with her belongings.

"Let me help."

"I don't need your help!"

Jackson had heard that line before, many times from her son. He didn't take any notice of him at such times either. After finally wrenching the suitcase out of Chas' hand he tucked his free arm in hers and steered her around until she was facing Smithy Cottage. "I'm sorry. I was out of order, now can we please go back in there and put their minds at rest?"

They were standing on the corner of the road, lamplight making eerie the night's shadows, a cold autumn wind breathing through the trees and rustling the leaves that lay decaying at their feet.

Chas was now holding the young man's gaze. She couldn't quite believe Jackson had come after her, He'd been so angry with her and she couldn't blame him. Too late she'd realised she'd made a mistake by knocking on their door, but hurt had driven her towards the warmth of a light, to the promise of an understanding ear to unburden her troubles to. She'd just not given any thought to Aaron's reaction. Experience should have made her wise to that.

"At least Aaron's been lucky in love."

Jackson's face lit up at the unexpected comment, "And I do love him, that's why I reacted the way I did."

"I know." Chas said, her tears falling now for quite a different reason than Carl King.

Arm in arm they'd then made their way back into the warmth and were soon sitting around the kitchen table, sipping on the mugs of tea Aaron had made. But they were sitting in silence, an uncomfortable one, Aaron growing increasingly irritated by it.

"Are you going to tell us what happened?"

"Aaron!" Paddy warned, Chas would tell them in her own time.

Chas set down her cup, ready as she ever would be to tell them what just a few hours ago she'd been blissfully unaware of herself.

"It's been going on for weeks, I didn't have a clue, I didn't suspect a thing. How stupid am I? Eve's known for it, look at her and John Barton, the slut led him astray now she's got her claws into Carl."

"I bet he didn't fight her off!" Aaron spat scathingly earning himself another warning look from Paddy.

"No. I think he did most of the chasing, at least that's what 'she' says."

"Is that how you found out? She told you?" Paddy asked wondering if Eve had told Chas in an effort to split the two of them up."

"No. He was working late in his office; I thought I'd surprise him. I did too. I caught them kissing. Carl tried to make it sound like it was the first time and that she'd kissed him. He was playing the innocent but 'she' wasn't haven't any of that and said he was as guilty as her. I knew she was telling the truth just like I knew he was lying.

"I couldn't bear to look at him so I went home...back to his place, he followed and we had this huge row. The he left, drove off. I sat on the bed crying and suddenly realised a lot of good that would do me. So I packed my stuff. I knew Lisa would let me stay there but then...sorry, I should never have come here..."

"Rubbish. Of course you should've. You're always welcome here, you're welcome to stay here too, for as long as you like."

Aaron couldn't believe his ears, well he could, he just didn't want to. Paddy had just given his mam an open invitation and he was certain she'd take it. He looked at her wanting to warn her off but her gaze was fixed on Paddy. He heard her say, "No I couldn't." Then sat and listened to Paddy insisting she could and would!

An hour later the house was in darkness. All but Aaron in bed. He was standing looking out of his bedroom window, looking at the streetlamp lit village below.

Jackson lay watching him, reminded of another night, their first night together. Aaron had been worried about Paddy that night too, but for a different reason. He'd been able to reassure him then even though the situation had been a much more serious a one. But not tonight. Words weren't helping but he could offer another kind of comfort.

"Aaron come to bed. Please."

Heaving a weary sigh Aaron turned around and padded over to his bed, dropping into it and settling himself into Jackson's waiting arms.

"She'll end up back in his bed I know she will!"

"Paddy's?"

"Yeah! She'll be there all of five minutes then she'll be off like last time. Well I'm not going to let her hurt him again, no way."

Jackson tightened his hold on the younger man, "You might just be worrying over nothing..."

"No, I know Paddy. I know her and the two of them under the same roof is asking for trouble!"

TBC


	39. Chapter 39

Face to Face

Part 39

She'd burnt the toast, over cooked the eggs but Paddy had dutifully eaten everything Chas had put on his plate. Aaron hadn't missed the older man's eagerness to please. Jackson though thought he was reading too much into it. Well perhaps he was, but he had reason to worry. He'd made a promise to himself last night about keeping Paddy and his mam at arm's length and he meant to keep it!

He'd not eaten his breakfast, no way was he going to force a plateful of rubbery eggs down his throat, not for anyone. Jackson had picked at his and politely thanked Chas for going to the trouble of feeding them all before she too went to work. That's when she'd announced she wasn't going in today, that she needed a day off to think.

"A day off to think! " Aaron had heard it all now. "Can't you do that while you're packing up all them chocolates?" He asked as he tossed his toast over to Clyde who like Paddy devoured every morsel.

"No, there's too many distractions there." Chas stated as she headed upstairs to take a shower.

"There'll be distraction enough here!" Aaron said pointing to the surgery door.

"By that you mean Paddy?" Jackson asked in between sips of tea.

"He'll be in here every five minutes, checking on her, seeing if she's alright, if she needs anything."

"He'll not have time; he's got surgery, his rounds..."

"He'll make time!" Aaron insisted, he knew exactly how Paddy would be, he'd seen it all before. He got to his feet then; he was going to have to make a move as he was running late for work. "I'll have to go, you ready?"

"Almost," Jackson replied finishing off the last of his tea. As Aaron moved towards the door he called after him, "Wait for me."

Aaron opened the front door, stepped outside and leant against the wall yawning as he did so. He'd not had much sleep last night, not between his mother turning up and then worrying about the effect she'd have on Paddy. He'd given his dad some thought too but not for long, he was determined to forget all about him after yesterday's revelation. It was easier said than done though. The bastard was still managing to creep into his mind, just like now!

Realising Jackson was now standing beside him he turned to face him and found himself being kissed, it was tender and love filled and he responded in kind. Only after Jackson had pulled away with a satisfied smile on his face did he realise they'd been kissing in full view of the village.

His heart racing he stared down the hill, there were plenty of people about. Doug and Bob were talking by the shop and Edna Birch was walking her dog! If not one of them then someone else had to have seen them!

"Aaron?"

Turning back to look at Jackson he demanded, "Why'd you do that?"

"What?" A second ago Aaron was melting against him, now he was giving him his best 'you just pissed me off' look. Why?

"Kiss me out here! Where everyone could see!"

His hackles were rising now. They'd not had five minutes to themselves since waking up. Aaron being in one hell of a hurry to get downstairs, determined to stop Paddy and Chas having any time alone together. All he'd wanted to do was kiss the man he loved before he went to work. He hadn't given any thought to where they were or to who might see, and why should he? All the other couples in the village kissed and cuddled openly, why shouldn't they. They'd long since been accepted as a couple, and he was certain that the only person who would have...did have a problem with them being openly affectionate was Aaron himself. And if he was to be completely honest with himself he was starting to resent him for it. Angry now he opened his mouth and let rip,

"Because I love you and I'm not ashamed of what I feel for you. I just wish you could say the same thing about me!"

He stalked off then, over to his van, ignoring Aaron's plea to wait, driving off and leaving the younger man to think over his words. Not that he thought they'd have any effect. 'Shit' he thought as he passed Carl King's haulage van, he'd wanted to remind Aaron to keep well away from him today, and insist that if their paths did cross to keep his gob shut, his hands in his pockets and his temper locked up in its cage! Paddy and Chas had already warned Aaron along the same lines but he'd have felt a lot happier if he'd said his piece too. Why did he have the feeling today was going to be 'one of those days' the sort of day you wished you'd just stayed in bed.

Pulling the front door closed behind him he'd made his way down to the garage. He was none too proud of himself right now. He'd hurt Jackson, he hadn't meant too, but then he never did, he just never stopped to think before he opened his big mouth. All sorts of crap had, over the years, rolled off his tongue, backchat, abuse, hurtful, spiteful and cruel comments. It had once been his weapon of choice, his first line of defence, and it had served him well. But like his temper he had very little control over it. Not so nice stuff seemed to trip easily off his tongue, but not the nicer things, they put up more of a fight! He had trouble showing his feelings too, especially when the whole world would see them. It wasn't just with Jackson, although it only really mattered where he was concerned. So they'd kissed in the doorway! It wasn't really such a big deal was it? The ground hadn't opened up and swallowed him whole, lightening had split the sky and burnt him to a cinder, Edna hadn't fainted or dropped dead from shock. He was really going to have to do something about... "What?" Some woman was now leaning her head out of a taxi window, asking for directions. He'd been so deep in thought he hadn't heard a word she'd said.

"Smithy Cottage?"

"Yeah." Gesturing behind him he continued. "That's it there. You looking for Paddy?"

"No. Jackson Walsh. "

"Jackson?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

"You could say that." Aaron replied, thinking of all the many and varied ways he knew Jackson.

"Well I'm his mum, Hazel and you are?"

He'd forgotten all about Jackson's mother, and how eager she apparently was to meet him. He thought he'd have Jackson by his side when they eventually met, and that wasn't supposed to be for a few days yet! But here she was in the flesh, living and breathing before his very eyes and maybe even breathing fire when he told her just who he was. Through a now dry mouth he said a little self-consciously, "Aaron, his boyfriend."

TBC


	40. Chapter 40

Face to Face

Part 40

Jackson's mum was looking him up and down now, giving him more than the once over. She didn't look too impressed either. A frown had settled on her face, her lips pressed tightly together as her eyes lingered on his socks, and the trouser bottoms that were tucked into them.

"He didn't say you were a Chav!"

"That's because I'm not." Aaron said defensively. She'd raised her head and then her eyebrows at him, reminding him of her son. She obviously wasn't convinced by his denial. She already had cause to dislike him and was probably expecting him to be some kind of thug, and now on seeing him had had her suspicions confirmed. Her gaze moved a little higher, taking in his hair, what there was of it. She looked none too impressed with that either! Well he liked it short, Jackson did too.

She was getting out of the taxi now and he found himself taking a step back, a little intimidated by her. Why he wasn't sure.

She wasn't quite what he'd expected...nothing at all like he'd expected! Where Jackson was thin and dark haired, his mum was...well she was...she was what Pearl would call on the plump side...well rounded...nicely padded. Pearl never used the F word to describe someone, and he certainly couldn't not where Jackson's mum was concerned. The two of them looked nothing alike! He didn't look anything like his mother either so why should that surprise him? Jackson must take after his dad. He did, looks wise anyway. There he was again! Thinking of that sorry tosspot.

She was talking again and he'd not heard a word she'd said to him again! "What?" Pardon would have sounded better, but he'd realised that a little too late. That was one word he'd never got into the habit of saying, one of those nice words that failed to trip off his tongue at such times as this. She must think he had no manners.

"He didn't say you were hard of hearing!"

"That's because I'm not!" He hadn't been able to keep the irritation out of his voice, it wasn't aimed at her though, it was aimed at himself.

He suddenly had an idea that she'd been teasing him. But he couldn't be sure. Her face was giving nothing away, deadpan, perhaps she was another windup merchant like her son?

He was squirming now under her intense gaze. He'd wanted to make a good impression but so far he was failing miserably, once again letting Jackson down.

"Is he here?"

"Who?" Aaron cringed on hearing himself ask such a ridiculous question. But she was making him so nervous he couldn't think straight. "Jackson! Yes. I mean no. He was... but he's not now." She was first shaking and then nodding her head in response to his ramblings. He was doing such a good impression of an idiot she must be convinced he was one by now.

"Tea?"

"Tea?" He repeated, a simple three letter word now had him confused.

"I think we're both in need of a brew."

He was in need of something a lot stronger a brew than tea but it might just help calm his nerves.

As Hazel had paid the taxi driver, Aaron carried what seemed to be an endless amount of luggage into the Smithy. His mother was still in the bathroom, hopefully she'd changed her mind about having a shower and was now having a long soak in the bath; he didn't want her around right now. Paddy was busy next door and hopefully he wouldn't show his face just yet either.

It suddenly occurred to him that he should let Jackson know his mum was at his. Hurriedly pulling out his phone from his pocket he tapped out a message, he'd not been joking as he'd typed out 'HELP' he felt in desperate need of it.

/

Jackson had laughed out loud on seeing Aaron's capital lettered plea. Finding out his mother was in Emmerdale had come as bit of a surprise, although nothing she did surprised him anymore. His mother was a one-off, or so people kept telling him.

After phoning his client and telling her he'd had a family emergency he turned his van around and headed back to Aaron's, he wasn't going to hurry though, he was happy to let Aaron get the measure of his mum!

When he'd first got back with Aaron he'd been a little wary of telling her. She was abroad and talking on the phone wasn't the same as telling someone something difficult face to face. There'd been a deathly silence on the other end of the phone when he'd told her he was again seeing the lad who'd punched him. Then she'd asked why he was prepared to give him another chance. She'd understood his reasons; she hadn't tried to warn him off. She'd trusted his judgement.

Over the following weeks he'd relayed the disturbing events that had taken place in Aaron's life, how his father had impacted on it once again. She might have been thousands of miles away but she had gained a firm understanding of Aaron in that time and a growing affection for him even though she'd not met or clapped eyes on him. But that was his mum for you, kind, wise and loving. Hopefully Aaron would see that for himself today.

/

She was eyeing him closely, probably silently tutting to herself over her son's poor taste in men. He knew Jackson could do a lot better for himself so he couldn't blame her for thinking that way too.

Setting a mug of tea on the table in front of Hazel he then sat himself down opposite her, spooning extra sugar into his mug, feeling in need of a sugar rush.

"And there's me thinking you were sweet enough!"

She was smiling across the table at him, now he knew she was teasing and he smiled back.

"That's better; I was beginning to think you only did the 'rabbit caught in the headlights' look!"

"Sorry, I'm just..."

"Just what?" She asked her eyes widening in expectation.

" Nervous." He was more than nervous, he was shit scared of saying the wrong thing, but he couldn't say that to her.

"Nervous of little old...well of not so little old me? I won't bite."

He smiled over at her again. Jackson had said that to him once, their first night together, he'd been nervous and scared then too. But for very different reasons.

"Jackson said he'd told you all about me."

"He's given me his rose tinted view of you; but I'd like to hear your version now!"

TBC


	41. Chapter 41

Face to Face

Part 41

He was desperately trying to maintain eye contact with the woman sitting opposite him, but her searching gaze was unnerving him. She wanted honesty and he was prepared give her just that because she was Jackson's mum, but he knew she wasn't going to like what he had to say, "I've got a temper I find hard to control, a mouth I don't know when to keep shut. I've done some bad things. I've hurt the people who love me, I've let them down and I keep on doing it. I don't mean to, I just don't think. But I'm trying to do better." His mouth was so very dry now that he was conscious of swallowing and finding it increasingly hard to speak, he wasn't sure if that was down to nerves or his ever present reluctance to openly express his feelings. But now he'd started he knew he couldn't stop, "I don't know why Jackson's with me, why he cares about me. I don't know why he loves me but he does, and I love him. And that's all I can tell you about me, there's nothing else worth knowing."

To his surprise Hazel was smiling at him now.

"Oh I think there is. My Jackson wouldn't love you unless there was something inside you worth loving."

He found himself smiling back at her, she'd made him unbelievably nervous at first, and had put him on his back foot but he was rapidly warming to her now.

Footsteps on the stairs drew his attention; he looked towards the door wondering how his mam and Hazel would get on.

He'd expected her to be dressed by now but no! She flounced through the doorway with only a towel wrapped around her, a towel that barely covered what it ought. "Mam!" He quickly got to his feet, forgetting all about Hazel as he stepped over to his mother, intent on stopping her from getting any further into the room. What sort of signals would she give Paddy parading around his house like that? "Go cover yourself up!" He demanded.

Only slightly taken aback by her son's order Chas peered over his shoulder, something or rather a someone having just caught her attention.

"You must be Chas?" Hazel lifted her hand and gave the brunette a small wave in greeting.

"Yeah!" Deftly sidestepping her son, Chas moved over towards the table, "You must be...?" She had absolutely no idea who the woman was but the pile of luggage stacked in the corner of the room had her very keen to find out.

"Hazel. Jackson's mum."

"Of course you are!" Chas sat down opposite Hazel, giving the older woman her best smile.

Aaron watched the two women as they silently sized each other up. Listening as they went on to make small talk, looking out of the window as he did so to see if there was any sign of Jackson. Where the hell was he?

As he returned to the table he realised the women's conversation had suddenly moved on from friendly chitchat.

"It's only since Jackson's been grown up that I've done any travelling, I never left him when he was a child."

Anyone else and they'd have taken the comment at face value but not his mam, not Chastity Dingle; she could find reason for an argument in an empty paper bag. Aaron knew she was highly sensitive when it came to her decision to leave him with his dad, and she seemed to think Hazel was having a dig at her about that now. But she wasn't, at least he didn't think she was.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, Only that I believe a child needs its mother..."

There was something about Hazel's tone of voice that had him start to wonder if she was actually having a go at his mother. But whether she was or not Chas was now in battle mode.

Aaron could only sit and listen as the two of them exchanged barbed comments. They'd known each other all of five minute's and already war had broken out between them. He couldn't believe it and he didn't know what to do about it. Paddy had told him once not to ever get in between two quarrelling women, not unless he was wearing full riot gear!

It was getting increasingly uncomfortable to listen to and he decided to try reasoning with the two of them but found himself being completely ignored. They didn't even notice when Jackson walked in through the door.

"What's going on?"

"They're arguing." Aaron said as he got to his feet and moved to stand alongside Jackson.

"I can see that! What're they arguing about?"

"Me!" Suddenly that fact got to him and he headed for the front door, needing some air, some quiet, some space.

From behind him he heard Jackson's raised voice, "Alright. That's it! Enough!" It wasn't the first time he'd heard Jackson say that, that night at the hospital, when Paddy had been fighting for his life, he'd had to step in and stop his mam and Marlon tearing strips off each other. He'd put them in their place and he was doing the same with the two women in the kitchen now.

Cain was shaking his head at him when he got to work, "You're late. Again!"

"Blame me mam and her big gob!" He knew it would take more than that to satisfy his uncle but the phone had been ringing and he'd walked away to answer it. Cain had been some time on the phone; Aaron reasoned it had to either be a very private call or that Cain was up to some shady business deal because he'd closed the door, making it impossible for him to hear anything. Not that he wanted to. He had enough to occupy his thoughts right now. His dad, he hated him. His mam, he was none too impressed with her this morning either, and then there was the threat she posed to Paddy. He was still to sort things with Jackson and then there was Hazel! He wasn't sure what to make of her now, not now she'd given his mam such a hard time.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cain now making his way over to him.

"That was your mam on the phone. She's upset."

"Well it's not down to me!" He snapped back, he'd done nothing to upset her and he was in no mood for a lecture from Cain.

"No one said it was. She was worried about you..." pausing as movement behind Aaron caught his eye he then continued, "...and she's not the only one by the looks of it."

Turning around, he saw Jackson was making his way over to him.

Two big brown concern filled eyes were soon searching his, Jackson going on to ask, "Are you alright?" He was now, Jackson only ever had to look at him that way and all his hurt and troubles would just melt away. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Jackson was nodding, although not entirely satisfied by Aaron's reassurance, "Well it's safe to go home now, I've put a muzzle on both of them and Paddy's standing by with a tranquilizer gun just in case!"

He couldn't help but grin, Jackson had delivered that line without any trace of humour, in so serious a tone he could almost believe what he'd said.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what got into her, she's not normally so...well she can be if she think she's got cause, not that I'm saying she did have, cause I mean."

"It's alright." He didn't want or need an apology from Jackson.

"No it isn't..."

"Jackson!" This wasn't going to be easy for him and Jackson rattling on about their mothers wasn't helping.

"What?"

He had his full attention now, "I'm sorry about before," The brown eyes narrowed questioningly, what with everything he realised Jackson had forgotten all about their own fallout.

"What?"

His heart was racing now, and he had to fight the urge to look around him to see who might be looking. Determinedly he took a step closer to the man he loved, wrapped his hand around the nape of his neck and gently but firmly pulled him towards him into a kiss. The same sort of kiss they'd shared earlier. This time he was the one to pull away, not because he was scared of someone seeing but because he was wanting to see Jackson's reaction, he wasn't disappointed but then Jackson never disappointed him. He was beaming at him, and then through his so very kissable lips he heard him say, "Wow!

TBC


	42. Chapter 42

Face to Face

Part 42

Aaron could only grin back at Jackson, mesmerized by the look of sheer delight on his face.

But Jackson was the first to come back down to earth, rational thought now having him ask, "So, what happened between 'then' and now?"

"I just thought about what you said. I'm not ashamed of loving you and I just wanted to prove it. I can't promise to snog your face off in the Woolpack any time soon...but then again I might, just to have you look at me like that again."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm all your Christmas' rolled into one!"

Reaching out with both hands catching hold of Aaron each side of his waist, Jackson pulled him a little closer to him, his face mirroring the seriousness that had crept into his voice, "Well that's just what you are. That's one way of putting into words what you are to me."

Aaron felt himself tense, his shoulders slump with the weight of the unease that had suddenly settled upon them. He wished he'd never said what he had now, "Jackson don't. Don't make me more than I am. I won't end up disappointing or hurting you that way." He couldn't bear to look at Jackson's face now, not now it had clouded over because of him. He looked down at his feet, willing them to move, to carry him back in time to just before he'd opened his mouth and ruined everything.

He wasn't going to let Aaron do this, not lessen himself in his eyes. "Look at me. Aaron look at me please," He waited patiently until the blue eyes met his. "I'm not making you into anything except what you are to me, the man I love."

He'd felt Jackson's arms slip around him, his lips on his and for a little while, until Cain had shouted across the forecourt, "Oi! I don't pay you to play tonsil hockey." the world around him had faded into insignificance.

/

He'd nipped home at lunch time, finding the place empty but for Clyde. Jackson having taken his mum and her luggage over to his flat. His mam having gone up to Wishing Well Cottage to tell Zak and Lisa what had happened between her and Carl.

Paddy had made an appearance ten minutes after he'd got there, settling himself purposefully next to him at the table

"Right, now were alone you can tell me what happened yesterday."

"What?"

"With your dad."

He'd known this was coming, that Paddy had been biding his time, waiting to get him alone, This was the first opportunity he'd had and the older man wasn't going to waste it. He didn't want to go into it all again, but he knew Paddy would fret about it until he knew exactly what had gone on. Taking a deep breath he then told him everything that had been said. Trying to keep the hurt out of his voice but failing miserable. His one concern was that Paddy would blame himself for encouraging him to make the prison visit and he was right.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into going. Aaron you deserve so much better..."

"I've got so much better. I've got you."

Paddy's face had lit up at that, making him realise for the second time that day just how easy it was to show someone you loved them.

Paddy had wanted to know about his mam and Hazel then, about their 'little dingdong', that wasn't so easy to talk about either. Having a stranger lecture your mother on parenting and hear her struggle to defend herself had proved painful listening.

Paddy had listened silently until he'd finished, admitting then to sharing Hazel's view and to having been too much of a coward himself to ever say it to Chas' face.

He had. Many times. Hurling hurt fuelled insults and putdowns at her. Now he could admit to loving her, to having forgiven her too. But he couldn't help but wish she'd stuck around, just like he wished Paddy had always been in his life. That he'd been his dad. Things would have been so very different then. He'd have been different.

"You've made a good impression on Hazel"

"I have?" That was hard to believe. He cringed every time he thought about the conversation they'd had on first meeting. Paddy was grinning at him now, at his disbelief.

"Yeah I had trouble believing it too."

He smiled at the older man's teasing but he wasn't really amused, not knowing how easily Hazel could have turned against him, "I thought she'd hate me, after me punching Jackson, after everything I've done. Jackson had told her everything!"

"She admires honesty, she liked the fact you were so honest with her."

"Yeah well, blame that on the man who taught me that honesty was always the best policy."

Paddy was smiling at him again, recognising that man to be him.

And while they were having this heart to heart, Aaron realised it might just be a good idea to talk to Paddy about his mam.

"Paddy. I don't think it's a good idea my mam staying here."

"I had noticed."

"She'll end up going back to Carl and..."

"Hurting me in the process?"

"Yeah. I don't want that to happen, not again."

"It won't. Aaron, we're just friends, nothing more and I know we'll never be anything more than that."

It was a relief to hear that, to know Paddy no longer clung to the hope of him and his mam getting back together. He must have read things wrong; Jackson had said he was seeing things that weren't there.

He'd been getting to his feet, about to go back to work when his mother had breezed in through the front door. The last time he'd seen her she'd been clad in only a towel, she wasn't wearing much more now, her skirt covering even less than the towel had, didn't she feel the cold?

He glanced over at Paddy, not liking what he saw. Despite his words of just minutes ago, Aaron could see on the older man's face that he was still interested in his ex, that given the chance he'd jump at becoming more than just friends again. Aaron realised there and then that for all his belief in honesty, Paddy wasn't being at all honest with himself!

TBC


	43. Chapter 43

Face to Face

Part 43

They'd all warned him to keep away from Carl King, so he hadn't gone looking for him but then he knew their paths would cross at some point and he'd been eagerly awaiting that moment to come. It was three days now since his mam had knocked on their door with the news Carl had cheated on her and he still hadn't seen him. Five minutes ago he'd found out why, Carl had gone on a run to Spain and wouldn't be back for days. Scarlett had told him he'd gone so as to give Chas some space to think but as far as he was concerned he'd gone because he was a coward because he didn't want to face the fallout. He hadn't seen Eve either, the whole village knew about the affair now and she was hiding indoors, avoiding the flack she had coming, another coward. His mam on the other hand was carrying on as normal, holding her head up high and putting on a brave face. He was proud of her, proud of the way she'd bounced back, but then she always did, no matter what. He didn't like the fact she was still at theirs though, not when she could so easily be at his uncle Zak's. Zak wouldn't mind, it wouldn't be the first time she'd stayed at Wishing Well cottage. Lisa would make her welcome... but maybe not as welcome as Paddy was making her feel!

The two of them were getting on a little too well for his liking. He'd prefer it if they were arguing, at each other's throats. That he could live with, but as it was he knew something was going to happen between them. If he thought for one minute it would last, that it would turn out to be 'a happy ever after', he'd be all for it, but he didn't, he knew his mother too well, he knew it would end in heartache, she'd end up breaking Paddy's heart again... and his too in the process.

Lunch break over he was heading back to work from the cafe, his mind turning to other things, to the most important thing...person in his life, Jackson. They'd spent the last few nights apart and he was missing him badly. With Hazel staying at his flat Jackson felt he had to be there with her. He understood that and any other time he'd have stayed there with him but right now he felt he had to be at the Smithy, he didn't trust the two other occupants to behave in his absence. Jackson thought he was taking things a little too far but he didn't know them like he did.

He wished his mam was more sensible, more responsible... more like Hazel!

They were going out for a meal in Hazel's honour tonight, just to the Woolpack, somewhere quiet and the atmosphere warm. It had been Paddy's idea; he'd thought it a good way to make her feel welcome, a part of things. It meant her staying over which was fine by him because that meant Jackson would be sharing his bed again.

The afternoon had dragged by even though he'd had plenty of work to keep him busy. He was just so eager to see Jackson, to spend some time with him, even if it was in the company of others. He'd have him all to himself eventually though, and he knew that would be well worth waiting for. That thought had put a smile on his face and it had stayed there as he'd made his way up the hill home. But once through the front door it had disappeared, wiped off his face by the sound of raucous laughter, his mother's unmistakable cackle filled the air. He'd stepped into the kitchen finding her and Paddy sat at the table, a daft grin on the older man's face. He looked happy they both did, they looked so comfortable together... but it wasn't right, it wasn't just two friends having a laugh, it was more than that... it was a failed relationship slowly being rekindled. Why could no one else see that?

He'd chatted with the two of them for a few minutes, had tried to keep the irritation he felt towards them both out of his voice. Then he'd made his way upstairs, took a shower, and readied himself for their night out. He'd sat on his bed waiting for Jackson and Hazel to arrive, intent on keeping out of both Paddy and his mam's way, he knew he'd only end up saying something he shouldn't if left alone with either of them. He didn't want his concern for Paddy to spoil their night, he was going to have to push it to the back of his mind, at least until the morning, he'd tackle Paddy about it then.

The night had gone well, things between Hazel and his mam had been a little frosty at first but once they'd had a couple of drinks they'd dropped their defences and were soon getting along, Paddy was sat between them, obviously enjoying the attention paid him by both women.

With the three oldies getting on so well Jackson had suggested the two of them sneak off, certain they wouldn't be missed, not for a while anyway. He'd not needed any persuading and they'd gone back to the Smithy and up to his room. And the minute his bedroom door shut behind him he'd forgotten all about his mam and Paddy.

He'd woken up early, needing the loo. There wasn't a sound anywhere and he'd believed himself to be the only one awake. But as he'd opened his bedroom door he'd realised he wasn't. Across the landing, coming out of Paddy's bedroom was his scantily clad mother!

He'd been right about them, knew they'd end up in bed, end up sleeping together. He knew it would mean something to Paddy but not to her.

She'd seen him now, her eyes widening with surprise, her mouth opening ready to explain herself, but he didn't want to hear it. Instead she was having to listen to him, to the venom he was spitting her way, to the names he was calling her.

TBC


	44. Chapter 44

Face to Face

Part 44

All hell seemed to have broken loose out on the landing, the commotion had woken him up and he'd leapt out of bed, quickly pulling on his pants before hurrying out into the thick of it. Aaron was in his mothers face, hurling abuse at her and he couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth or the cause of it.

He'd got in-between the two of them, trying to calm the younger man down, Aaron continuing to loudly air his thoughts on his mother but to him now. He'd thought him just angry but on looking into his eyes could tell his tirade was fuelled mostly by hurt and disappointment.

A bleary eyed Paddy had put in an appearance then, and on seeing him Aaron had turned his caustic tongue in his direction, letting him know exactly what he thought of him too. Like Chas he just stood there and let him rant, they probably thought it best to let him get it out of his system. But he didn't, he knew Aaron would later regret what he said, regret his loss of control.

"Alright that's enough!" He warned as he wrestled Aaron back into his room, kicking out with his foot to shut the door behind him as he did so. With a barrier between Aaron and the cause of his pain he relaxed his hold on him and just as soon as he did he felt his boyfriend pull away from him. He watched him stalk over to the window, his attention seemingly on the world outside but he knew it wasn't, "Aaron..." before he could say another word he'd turned to face him, his turbulent thoughts finding a voice.

"I told you this would happen!"

"Yes you did." Only he hadn't taken his concerns seriously, and he was more than a little shocked by the effect it had had on Aaron. He'd always found it hard to believe Chas and Paddy had once been an item, not with her being so fiery and him so...so... he wasn't sure how to label Paddy! He'd never thought for one minute they'd get it on again. But Aaron had seen it coming and in his eyes it was a train wreck, a disaster, something he seemed to believe would rock his world. All he could do now was try and reassure him, "Aaron..."

"She's a slut! She was in Carl's bed last week, Paddy's last night and as soon as Carl comes back she'll be spreading her legs for him..."

"Aaron!" He couldn't hide his shock, Aaron shouldn't be talking about his own mother like that."

"It's true you know it is. Paddy won't see it coming, one night on her back with him and he'll think they're a couple again, but she'll just right it off as another drunken mistake!"

He couldn't help but think Aaron was being way too harsh on his mother here, "You don't know that..."

"I do know that! I know her, I know him, I've seen it all before, I know how it'll end up. Paddy in pieces and her back with Carl King, and she won't look back, she won't give a toss!"

Paddy had to have learned his lesson the last time surely, Aaron needed to give him some credit, "She's hurt Paddy before, he's not stupid but he's... he's..." he was decidedly uncomfortable discussing Paddy's sex life ..."well he's got needs too and..."

"What he needs is his head looking at! I told him the other day her being here wasn't a good idea. He said they were just friends, that he knew they would never be anything more than that. You don't sleep with a friend not unless you're hoping that friendship will develop into something more!"

"What happens between them..."

"Don't tell me it's none of my business because it is."

"I wasn't going to." He just wanted Aaron to realise that loved ones couldn't always live up to the expectations you had of them, "They're the two most important people in your life..."

"Next to you!"

He couldn't help but smile at that, and at how quick Aaron had been to make that point, "... but they're only human Aaron, they're not above making mistakes, of getting things wrong... badly wrong at times, and you're just going to have to accept that and forgive them for being fallible like the rest of us."

That had been met with a stony silence, more or less what he expected, Aaron hadn't liked his words and was struggling to digest them. He knew he'd get a reaction from his next statement and he was ready for it, "You'd still like things to work out between them wouldn't you?"

"No!"

He raised a questioning eyebrow, a silent nudge for the truth, and it was soon tripping off Aaron's tongue

"He's a good man, he'd never hurt her, he'd never let her down, he'd love her always... I want that kind of relationship for her, the safe, secure kind. Why isn't it enough for her?"

"If she doesn't love him then..."

"She can love a waste of space like Carl though! She loved my dad once, another prick, yet she can't love a man like Paddy. Why?"

He knew Aaron didn't really expext an answer to that question, he doubted even Chas could answer him that. Love wasn't something you could make happen, it was something that happened to you, something you had no control over. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't. He did know it worked for him and Aaron. He also knew Aaron was ready to accept some comfort now and so wrapped his arms around him, holding him until he felt the very last ounce of tension drain from him.

As Aaron had made his way to the bathroom he'd gone downstairs to make them both a drink. He'd expected to find the kitchen empty, was certain both Paddy and Chas were still in their respective rooms licking their wounds. What with all the upset he'd completely forgotten his mother had stayed the night ... until seeing her sat at the kitchen table, a mug of tea in her hand. He could tell by the look on her face that she'd heard the earlier vitriol, and that she wasn't impressed.

"Mum..."

"Is Aaron alright?"

"Yeah," His mother was genuinely concerned but he still felt the need to defend his boyfriend's behaviour to her, "He was upset..."

"And no wonder! That woman..."

His mum was off on one now, airing her own opinion of Chastity Dingle! He'd thought the two women were on good terms now, it would make for a quiet not to mention a much simpler a life if they were. He wanted Aaron and her to have a good relationship too but if Aaron ever heard her running Chas down like that there would be fireworks. He'd been about to open his mouth and put a stop to it only then realising it was too late, Aaron was standing in the doorway, he'd heard every word.

TBC


	45. Chapter 45

Face to Face

Part 45

He'd expected Aaron to angrily defend his mother; he might have only half an hour since called her all the names under the sun himself but that didn't mean anyone else could. But Aaron had just turned around and made his way back upstairs, and after giving his mum a withering look he'd hurried after him. He'd found his boyfriend sitting on their bed, head bowed, a dejected air about him, obviously hurt by what he'd just heard. He knew his mum would want to apologise in person but in the meantime, "I'm sorry, she shouldn't have said those things ..."

"You don't have to apologise for her Jackson, she didn't say anything I haven't thought or said to my mam to her face."

He knew he should be relieved by Aaron's calmer than calm reaction but he wasn't, it worried him, "Are you ok..."

"You expected me to lose it with her didn't you?" Any other time he probably would have done, but there just wasn't any fight left in him.

He eased himself down beside Aaron capturing his hand in his own before saying, "I expected you to be angry; you had every right to be. If anyone had said that about her I'd..."

"I'm just..." He was suddenly desperate to explain, he wanted Jackson to know what he was feeling right now, he needed him to help him understand the strange aching inside.

"Just what?"

"I don't know... I'm just... I'm just so fed up of it all, the rows, the upset, the bad feeling. All that with my dad, now my mam, Paddy... I don't want to fall out with your mum too... I want her to like me." It was important that she did, he didn't want anything coming between him and Jackson and he was scared Hazel might be the one thing that could.

"And she does, that's why she was sounding off, she cares about you."

"She's got no reason to." She hadn't, he was nothing to her.

Aaron really was on a downer, he'd known he'd end up deeply regretting his earlier outburst, he might have hurt Chas and Paddy with his verbal assault but he'd managed to hurt himself even more, he hated himself right now, was beating himself up, it hurt to see him like this, "She's got every reason to, she knows I love you."

"I bet she's asking herself why this morning!" She'd heard him mouth off, witnessed firsthand his notorious temper, she had to be wondering what the hell her son was doing shacked up with a head case like him. He'd lost control and not for the first time, and Hazel was well aware of that too.

"What you think she's never lost her temper or said things she didn't mean? Well believe me she has! Who hasn't? Aaron, it's Chas and Paddy she's disappointed in, not you. You she's just concerned about... and that's something you're going to have to get used to."

"Are you taking her back to the flat this morning?"

He hadn't been expecting that but he could understand Aaron wanting to put some distance between him and his mum after what had just happened, He was eager to remove her from the scene too, she really did care about Aaron and wouldn't think twice about letting her feelings known to Chas and to Paddy for that matter. It wasn't any of her business but she'd make it so, "Yeah, just as soon as she's ready..."

"I'll come with you."

That had taken him by surprise too but what had thrown him even more was Aaron getting to his feet to retrieve the holdall he kept on top of his wardrobe, which he then started to stuff with his clothes, "What you doing?"

"I'm not staying here... I'm moving in with you."

He was on his feet now, taking hold of Aaron by the forearms forcing him to look at him, "You need to sort things out with your mum, with Paddy."

"It's them that need to sort things out... their 'relationship' for starters. I don't want to be around them until they do."

He wasn't sure about this, but then there wasn't a healthy atmosphere here at the moment, not where Aaron was concerned anyway, and maybe Chas and Paddy could do with some space, some privacy to work out just what they meant to each other, if anything! "Alright, but you tell them that before we..."

The knock on their bedroom door had caused Jackson to stop mid sentence and him to shake his head, he was in no mood to talk to anyone other than his boyfriend. Jackson was determined he would though, saying the longer he left it the harder it would be. In the end he hadn't given him any choice he'd stepped over to the door and opened it.

His mam was standing there, fully dressed, make up and hair done, ready to take on the world...to fight her corner. Jackson gestured to her to come in and after giving him a reassuring look had disappeared out the door closing it behind him, leaving the two of them alone. He forced himself to make and maintain eye contact, just the encouragement his mother needed to start talking.

"It's not what you think..."

"What so you sneaking out of Paddy's bedroom at half five in the morning doesn't mean you regret sleeping with him?"

"I wasn't sneaking out I was going to the loo and no, I don't regret what happened between us...

"But you will, if not today then tomorrow. You don't care about him, not in that way."

"That's where you're wrong. Last night we... well we... we had a good time, and I realised there was still something there, that I did have feelings for Paddy. When we came back here we talked, really talked and we decided to give things another go..."

"No!" As much as he might like to have believed that he didn't, not for one minute. His mother was on the rebound, she wasn't thinking clearly, and Paddy was just clinging to a dream... one that would eventually turn into a nightmare yet again.

"Aaron..."

"I don't want to hear it" He didn't want to witness the madness either, so he snatched up his bag and made for the door.

"Where're you going?"

"I'm moving in with Jackson, you and Paddy can do what you like, I don't care anymore!"

TBC


	46. Chapter 46

Face to Face

Part 46

It was over a month now since he'd moved in with Jackson. It was working out all right, between him and Jackson it was anyway. Hazel was taking a little getting used to, they got on ok, he liked her and she seemed to like him. It was just that she was full on, she talked non-stop, she filled an entire room with her presence, she was just so in-your-face and he found that irritating at times. He didn't like the fact their bedroom was next to hers either, the walls were paper-thin and knowing that, he was more than a little inhibited. It was a different story at Paddy's, his room was along the hallway, and more than one wall separated them. Anyway, this was Jackson's mum, he didn't want her hearing them.

Hazel was supposedly looking for a place of her own but she didn't seem to be putting much effort into it. She was obviously happy with the current arrangement. Jackson seemed to be too, at least he hadn't said he wasn't, and because of that, Aaron was keeping quiet on the matter. He didn't want to stir things up any, things were rocky enough on the home front as it was...at least, they were as far as his nearest and dearest were concerned. And his dad had written to him from prison, both letters having been unceremoniously dumped in the bin without being opened… he had some nerve! Why couldn't he just leave him alone? He really didn't need him screwing with his head right now.

He'd not been back to the Smithy, he avoided the place like the plague. He didn't want to see his mum and Paddy playing house, wanted no part of what he considered to be a farce. He saw them both on a regular basis though because they called to see him at the garage. Things were strained between him and them, admittedly all his doing. He was still annoyed with them both, and just couldn't let his disappointment in Paddy or his anger at his mother go. He couldn't be happy for them, not knowing it wouldn't last, that his mum would bail out at some point leaving Paddy nursing another broken heart. They were forever asking him to go home and he was forever telling them no. He was happy where he was, and he certainly didn't want to see them snogging on the sofa anymore than he wanted to be witness to them going their separate ways. No, he didn't want any part of it.

Jackson hated the fact he was at odds with them and had tried talking to him about it. It hadn't got the older man anywhere, nothing would sway him, nothing, not even Jackson could change his way of thinking this time. He was sitting back waiting for the relationship to end, and it would, he knew it would. It would either fizzle out like a damp squib or end with one almighty bang.

He'd been lost in his thoughts but the click of high heels had brought him out of his reverie. He didn't need to turn around to know it was his mam that was walking towards him, making her first visit of the day.

Ignoring her greeting, he didn't make eye contact until she was standing right next to him and only then did he grudgingly speak, "What do you want?" He snapped, he knew he was being rude, but he couldn't help himself, he couldn't mask his feelings towards her, he wouldn't even try.

"I need to talk to you."

"If it's about you and Paddy, then you'll just be wasting your breath, I've heard it all before, just like I've seen it all before."

"It's not what you think. Please, Aaron."

His mum looked uncomfortable, maybe even a little upset. A thought hit him, maybe this time around Paddy had seen sense and had dumped her, "He's given you your marching orders, hasn't he? Well I didn't see that one coming!"

"No!" Chas retorted indignantly, "Things are good between us, really good."

He wasn't convinced, he could hear something in her voice, he didn't know what, but he was certain he wasn't going to like what she had to say. "Then, what is it?" he demanded impatiently, he had work to do, Cain was away for the day and he didn't want to fall any further behind with the workload than he already was.

"Not out here, someone might hear."

His mum tottered inside the garage and he reluctantly followed her, wondering just what it was she seemed desperate to keep between the two of them. Once inside, his impatience got the better of him again, "Well?"

"I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do!"

He suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for her, she actually sounded scared, like she really didn't know which way to turn. "What is it?" He was genuinely concerned now.

"I'm pregnant."

He hadn't heard her right, he can't have done, "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

No, she couldn't be! Could she? He just couldn't get his head around that idea, which meant he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He should be happy for her, he supposed, but his mum didn't seem at all happy about it, she had tears in her eyes now. If everything was so good between her and Paddy, why wouldn't she be happy about having his baby? Unless…"It's not Paddy's, is it?" Where that notion had come from, he didn't know, but whether it was a wild guess or just intuition on his part, he knew he was right, the look on his mother's face told him that.

"I don't know, not for sure, it could just as easily be Carl's."

He felt the bottom fall out of his stomach, that was all too easy to believe, his mother had jumped into Paddy's bed within days of leaving Carl's. She was openly crying now but the last thing he wanted to do was comfort her, she'd caused this mess, and it was, he realised with a jolt, one almighty mess, "Does Paddy know about the baby?"

"No, and I don't know how I'm going to tell him, or even if I should tell him."

"Of course you should tell him. You have to tell him!" Whatever made her think there was an option.

"No, I don't. He need never know."

"No." He didn't like where this conversation was going." No, you can't!" How could his mother even think about getting rid of the baby.

"If it's Carl's, it'll come between us."

"But it could be Paddy's! And he'd want the baby, you know he would." He knew Paddy had always wanted kids of his own and he'd make a great dad, the best.

"He wouldn't want Carl's baby though, would he? And he wouldn't want me if I was carrying another man's child."

"He took me on!" He'd been no innocent either, he'd given Paddy hell but it hadn't changed the way he'd felt about his mam, he'd still loved her, he'd have done anything for her back then and still would.

"This is different."

"Only in that the baby could be his. It more than likely is." How likely, he didn't know, but he desperately wanted it to be Paddy's, he hated the thought of it being Carl's, it would tie the two of them together if it was. It would give them reason to talk, to get involved again. No, this baby was Paddy's. It had to be.

TBC


	47. Chapter 47

Face to Face

Part 47

To Aaron's great relief, a customer had cut short his conversation with his mother, she hadn't been too pleased about it though. She seemed to think he'd know what to do, that he'd have all the answers. Well, he didn't, he was reeling from the news, and he needed some time to get his head around it, some peace and quiet to think it all through. He'd impatiently told his mam to go home or to work, and to think about telling Paddy, because if she didn't, he would!

He just couldn't deal with her right now, he could barely look at her, he was just so damn angry with her. How could she let something like that happen? How could she be so careless? She wasn't some naïve, sexually inexperienced teen now was she? Anything but!

As soon as his customer had left, he'd pulled his mobile out of his pocket, he needed to talk to Jackson, he needed to tell him about his mother's latest clanger. Jackson wasn't answering though, and it had eventually gone to voicemail, which had annoyed him, and he'd left a short and not-so-sweet message on his boyfriend's phone, "Phone me when you can spare a minute!"

All he could think about now was Paddy, and how he'd react to the news. He knew he'd be shocked initially but, if there was no doubt the baby was his, he'd be over the moon, ecstatic. But then if Paddy thought there was a chance the baby was Carl's? Aaron knew he wouldn't' turn his back on his mam or the baby, but it would certainly rock his world, it would more than complicate things.

All thoughts of work had gone out the window, he was just standing leaning against the office desk, lost in his troubled thoughts. He heard a vehicle pull up outside, heard footsteps, and was annoyed someone else was trespassing on the quiet time he needed right now. He felt like telling whoever it was to piss off, and just might if they said the wrong thing to him.

"Hi."

The cheerful voice, the beaming smile took him aback, Jackson was the last person he was expecting to see. "What you doing here?"

"I was on my way over to Hotton and as it was only five minutes out of my way, I thought I'd best come see what was wrong, I know something is." Aaron's tone of voice in the message he'd left him told him that much.

"You're not going to believe it."

Jackson had listened to his boyfriend's news and Aaron was right, he was finding it hard to believe. What he wasn't finding hard to believe though was just how worked up Aaron was about it. He was highly sensitive where Paddy and his mum were concerned. Recent events had driven a wedge between him and them, he'd said and had kept on saying that it would all end badly and right now it certainly looked like it could be heading towards a very difficult patch. He wasn't sure what to say. Knowing the mood Aaron was in, nothing he said would placate him, still he was going to have to say something, "Is she sure, I mean, is it definite?" It could be a false alarm, that sort of thing happened all the time. Aaron could well be getting himself in a tizzy over nothing.

"She's sure! She's done a few of them home tests things and because they've all been positive, she went to see her GP this morning, he's confirmed it."

Jackson liked Chas, they'd had their differences but nothing they hadn't moved past, he couldn't help but feel for her right now, "It must have come as a shock to her; it's a lot for her to take in, to deal...

"She's a stupid cow..."

"Aaron!"

"Well, she is! She's a heartless one too. She doesn't want to tell Paddy about the baby, she just wants rid!"

That had taken Jackson aback but, seeing how upset Aaron was about the idea, he knew he had to try and reason it out with him, "Right now she probably sees that as the easiest option..."

"Yeah, that would be right! She always takes the easy way out. It doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process as long as she's ok. When her and my dad started having problems, she just walked out, left me behind without a second thought. I bet when she found out she was having me she thought about getting rid too."

"No." That, he didn't believe, and he certainly didn't want Aaron thinking that way.

"I told her she has to tell Paddy, that she's got to be upfront with him."

Aaron's thoughts were all over the place right now, and he was working himself up more and more. Jackson knew he needed to help him rein his turbulent emotions, try and calm him down. "I think you're right but, maybe she needs a little time to accept it herself, maybe she needs you to..."

"She wants me to sort her mess out, help her with her dirty work!"

"Does she? Or does she just need someone to say it's alright, it'll be ok, you've got me. Did you say any of that to her?"

"No." No, he hadn't, he'd been too mad at her. Once he knew what was wrong, he'd lost all sympathy for her, and he still didn't have any.

"It's not too late, you know."

"It's Paddy that's going to need my support."

"Yes, he will but so does your mum, and maybe even more than Paddy does."

"This mess is all her own making."

"I'm sure she never set out for it to happen! You going off on one isn't helping, by the way. And we both know where all this anger is coming from, don't we?

"What?"

"That morning this all kicked off, you admitted to wanting them back together, remember, we talked about it..."

"I said it wouldn't work..."

"Yeah, you said that too and you've kept on saying it, so too that Paddy would end up getting hurt. But that's not why you've been giving them such a hard time, is it? The truth is you're not just scared for Paddy, you're scared for yourself, scared you'll be hurt all over again."

"You don't know what you're talking about..."

"Yes, I do, and you know why? Because I know you. Because I know just how very much Paddy and your mum mean to you. You want them both to be happy, you want them both to be settled, and it would be just about perfect if they found all that with each other. But you just won't let yourself believe it, you won't give them a chance..."

"Because I know her. Paddy's not exciting enough for her, he's too safe, he's..."

"Maybe she's realised Paddy and all his qualities are exactly what she needs..."

"But she doesn't love him. You said as much that morning."

"Because that's what I believed at the time. But while you've been keeping your distance, avoiding them, well, I've seen them together, seen how they look at each other and I think your mum genuinely cares for Paddy, I think she really does love him..."

"As a friend, maybe. Not in the way she should. Not in the way Paddy loves her."

"Then why is she so scared she'll lose him? Why is she so desperate for the baby to be his and not Carl's?"

"She's just scared she'll end up on her own."

"You're not being fair to her, Aaron. I know she's let you down in the past, that she's hurt you, but the two of you have put all that behind you. You know she loves you. And right now she needs you, so stop distancing yourself from her and go give her the support she needs.

Jackson's words had slowly sunk in, and he realised just how stupid he'd been, how selfish. That day he'd come back from visiting his dad in prison, Paddy and his mam had been standing outside the Smithy waiting for him. He'd been emotional, hurting inside and seeing them there together... well they'd looked like a couple, and right at that moment he'd wanted nothing more than for them to be a couple, for them to be his parents in every sense of the word.

He'd promised Jackson he'd find his mother and talk to her, he didn't know what he was going to say though, he was no good with words. He just hoped he didn't go saying the wrong thing, he'd already made a pig's ear of things once this morning.

With Jackson heading to Hotton, he'd made his way up the hill, Paddy's car wasn't in the drive which told him he was out doing his rounds. His mam should have been at work but he didn't think she would be somehow, and sure enough, he found her sitting at the kitchen table staring into a mug of tea.

"Mam?" She looked surprised to see him, not to mention a little wary of him. She was probably expecting another earful of something unpleasant. When she started to blink away tears, his heart went out to her, she really did need him. But what to say? How to break the ice? His mind wandered back to the day she'd slapped him across the face, well he'd asked for it! Then like now, Jackson had been the one to open his eyes, to make him see sense and he'd traipsed back down to Carl's wanting to put things right between the two of them. She'd hugged him, and he knew she'd been comforted when he'd hugged her back. Taking a few steps closer to her, he held out his arms, saying softly, "Come here."

TBC


	48. Chapter 48

Face to Face

Part 48

Just like that day in Carl's, the day he and the older man had come to blows, Aaron made his mum a cup of tea, heaping in the sugar. He made himself one too and then sat at the table wishing he could be of some real help to his mother, but there wasn't a lot he could do, except be there for her like Jackson had said.

"How am I going to tell Paddy? How do I tell him it could be Carl's baby?"

She'd asked him those questions before, more than once, he still didn't know the answers. "Is there no way of knowing for sure?"

"When it's born, yes, we could have a DNA test done then, but how far off is that? The not knowing will eat at him; I know it will, just like it will eat at me. I know you think Paddy would accept the baby if it is Carl's, but I'm not so sure, it would be a constant reminder of me being with another man."

"Mam, do you... do you love him?" He had to ask, he had to know, although he was dreading her answer, scared it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"But how? I mean, why now and not before?" He was struggling to believe her despite desperately wanting to. "You said that there was no spark, no..."

"It's different this time. He's still the same but I've changed, I've had my eyes opened. I need security, I need dependability, I need good old fashioned love and commitment. I love him, need him because he's all that and more. You said he was the best thing that ever happened to me and you're right, he is, I see that now."

She sounded genuine enough and Aaron found himself believing his mother's words, but still, as long as a certain someone was around, he would always worry. "And Carl?"

"I did love him, and like a fool I trusted him. But there's only so much hurt you can take, only so much you can forgive, and what he did this time has left me... well, hating him, I suppose. It's well and truly over between us this time, I deserve better and, well, I've found it, haven't I?

"Things were going so well between me and Paddy until this, the only sour point... you so against it..."

"I didn't want you hurting him again." Aaron defended himself, he loved them both, but he was closest to Paddy, protective of him, and it hurt to see him unhappy. Jackson had been right; he didn't want to be part of another relationship breakdown, especially between his 'parents'.

"But this baby will. It's going to cause all sort of trouble and heartache..."

"No, no, it doesn't have to..." He didn't like calling the baby 'it', he could already imagine Paddy holding his son or daughter. "He or she would bring you closer..."

"Cement things you mean? If it's Paddy's, then yes, it would, it would be the icing on the cake, but if it's Carl's, it's going to rock the foundations... maybe even bring the walls tumbling down."

He didn't want to believe that, the Paddy he knew would be upset by the possibility, would be hurt, would go through the wringer emotionally, but he wouldn't let Chas down, he'd love her, support her just the same. "No..." Aaron paused, they'd both heard someone in the other room.

Chas leapt to her feet, dabbing at her eyes, at the mascara staining her cheeks, "That's Paddy, I need to do my face, I can't let him see me like this."

"He's not going to care what you look like." Aaron protested, his mother was just delaying things now.

"Well, I do. I need my slap on, I need the confidence it gives me."

Aaron watched his mother hurry from the room, chewing over her last statement as he did so. He'd always thought she wore too much makeup, that she looked like she'd plastered it on with a trowel. Now he was beginning to see why she did that, and why some people called it war paint. It was a mask of sorts, a front to hide behind, and in some cases... it was little more than painted-on courage.

"Aaron!"

Paddy looked more than a little surprised on seeing him. Well he would, he'd not been here in ages, had refused to visit his old home, and when they had met he'd more or less ignored him, had been punishing both him and Chas with a dose of the silent treatment. He felt ashamed about his behaviour now, and realising how childish he'd been, all he could get past his lips was a quiet "Paddy."

"It's good to see you. You ok?"

The surprise on the older man's face was soon replaced by a big smile, it helped loosen Aaron's tongue a little, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Jackson?"

"Yeah, he's good."

"Are you here to see your mum? She wasn't feeling so good this morning, she didn't go to work."

"Yeah, I know."

"Is that why you're here? She's alright, isn't she?"

Paddy suddenly looked concerned, his love for Chas evident.

He wasn't going to hide the fact something was wrong, and he certainly wasn't going to lie to Paddy. Still, as much as he wanted the older man made aware of the baby, he knew it wasn't his place to tell him. Like Jackson had said, he should be there for them both, supporting them both, not sticking his oar in. "She's upset more than anything, worried."

"Worried? About what?"

"She'll tell you herself."

"Aaron?"

"Paddy, she has to tell you."

Paddy sank into a chair alongside Aaron, an old fear raising its ugly head. "She's been quiet for a couple of days now, not herself. I've been starting to think..."

"Starting to think what?"

"That she wasn't happy, that she'd realised she didn't want to be with me 'again'."

"It's not that." Aaron insisted, he didn't want Paddy thinking that way, getting any such negative ideas in his head.

"Then, what is it? Have I done something?"

Despite the situation, Aaron wanted to laugh at that question, laugh and say, 'Yeah you've done something alright, you've got my mam pregnant!' It would have been nice to say that, to be able to say that without there being any doubt about Paddy being the father. But he couldn't... he felt a fresh wave of unease hit him. Why did things always have to be so complicated, why couldn't they run smoothly for once?

/

Aaron had left the two of them alone to talk, then made his way over to the bench across the road. His thoughts drifted back to another difficult conversation, the one between him and Jackson. Paddy had left the two of them alone, had sat out here, biding his time, on hand should things turn unpleasant.

He didn't think for one minute that things would turn that way for his mum and Paddy, he expected Paddy to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it would all be ok. That was the sort of thing Paddy would do, that was the sort of man Paddy was.

His ringtone sounded, making him jump. Seeing Jackson's name, he quickly answered the call.

"Hi, everything ok?"

"I think so, I've left them to talk, she's going to tell Paddy about the baby."

"How was she?"

"Not good, but she should have more trust in him, more faith... " He'd suddenly heard voices, raised voices and they were coming from the Smithy. "Jackson, I've got to go, I'll ring you back." Tucking his phone back into his pocket, he got to his feet and stared over at the cottage. He'd heard Paddy shouting but it was quiet again now, what should he do? He didn't know, but then when just seconds later he heard the older man's voice raised in anger again, he broke into a run, making straight for the front door.

The voice got louder with every step he took, so did the thundering of his heart in his chest.

As he burst into the room, the shouting stopped, both sets of eyes turning to him, his mam's were brimming with tears. Paddy's were dark with anger, he'd never seen him like that before, couldn't believe he was seeing him like this now. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Paddy was shaking his head at him now, looking at him with what he thought was a mix of disbelief and anger, his suspicions were quickly confirmed when Paddy then bellowed over at Chas, "And you told him before you told me!"

Aaron could hear the hurt, the indignation in Paddy's voice, and he was right to feel that way. His mum should have gone straight to Paddy with this, but she hadn't trusted him, she'd turned to someone else first, and it didn't matter if it was her son, someone important in both their lives, she shouldn't have told him before Paddy.

But she had and it had obviously done some damage. As much as he wanted to turn around and leave them to sort things out he knew he couldn't, that he was needed here.

TBC


	49. Chapter 49

Face to Face

Part 49

Aaron decided it was no good him just dithering on the side-lines, he was going to have to wade on in and try and calm things down. Stepping over to stand between Paddy and his mother, he said, "You both need to calm down, Paddy, you need to listen and Mam, well, you… you need to sit down." His mother looked to have her full quota of slap on, but he knew how pale she was beneath it, and he could see she was shaking. All this upset couldn't be doing her or the baby any good.

Steering Chas over to a chair, he made sure she was seated before turning his attention back to Paddy. "Paddy, please. You're always telling me to talk things through, that arguing gets you nowhere, so come on, let's do this the right way."

Aaron waited with bated breath, Paddy was still wild-eyed, was obviously still irate and looked more likely to storm off than stay and discuss the situation. But Aaron wasn't about to give up, "Please." That last word of encouragement seemed to do the trick because Paddy suddenly stepped over to the table, yanked out a chair and dropped heavily into it.

The couple were now sitting opposite each other, but avoiding eye contact. Aaron told himself that had to be better than yelling at each other. He sat down between them, beginning to feel like a referee... one not really up to the job! He wasn't sure how best to get a conversation going but thought explaining his involvement might help ease the tension a little.

Eyeing Paddy, Aaron said, "I can understand you being annoyed about mam telling me first, but then I can understand her coming to me about it too. She just didn't know how to tell you without hurting you, she was scared of your reaction, scared it would come between you."

"And she told you because you'd have all the answers!" Paddy spat scathingly at Aaron, "Because you're an expert on relationships, aren't you? Especially between a man and a woman!"

Aaron tensed, Paddy's comeback was spiteful and intended to wound, but he knew Paddy had to be really hurting to lash out at him like that, and so told himself to ignore the outburst. "She told me because I'm her son, because of what you are to me, because she knows I care about both of you..."

Snorting in disbelief Paddy jabbed a finger in Aaron's direction, "You were dead against us getting back together! You've not said a civil word to either one of us in weeks! So, why would she suddenly seek your advice on something so personal, something that should be between me and her!"

This wasn't about him when it all boiled down to it, but for whatever reason, Paddy was making it about him and he felt the need to defend himself, "I was wrong, I thought she'd hurt you again..."

"No, you were right. She has hurt me 'again'."

"See!" Chas exclaimed getting to her feet, "I told you how he'd be. I told you he wouldn't understand, that he'd hate me..."

"He doesn't hate you," Aaron insisted, his gaze moving from his mother to Paddy, expecting him to deny feeling that way. When no such denial came, he raised his voice, his tone a clear demand for an answer, "Paddy?" Aaron didn't know what to think when that got no response either, Paddy continuing to look down at his tightly clenched hands.

"I'll pack my stuff," Chas declared before making for the stairs.

"No!" Aaron was on his feet now, torn between going after his mother and knocking Paddy's fool head off. Somehow, he'd just managed to make everything a hundred times worse. What should he do now?

After a minute's deliberation, he sat back down, his gaze fixed on Paddy, "You're not going to let her go? Paddy, you can't! You love her, and what about the baby? It could be yours..."

"The baby is Carl's," Paddy said decisively.

Paddy seemed convinced the baby was Carl's, but there was no way he could be so certain of that, except if he and his mam hadn't actually slept together and Aaron was well aware that they had. It was as if Paddy didn't want to believe the baby could be is, and right now that didn't make any sense to Aaron. If he could just open his eyes, make him see that there was every chance of him being the father... "She's been with him all that time and nothing happens but as soon as she's back with you, she's pregnant! That's odd, don't you think?" It seemed odd to him anyway. "Paddy, the baby's got to be yours." The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was.

"Why, because you want it to be?" Paddy retorted, "Because you dislike Carl and can't stand the thought of it being his?"

There was no denying that, especially after his last betrayal, after him cheating on his mam with Eve. So far, he'd not run into Carl, but he was bound to see him at some point, and when he did, he wasn't sure he could keep his promise to Jackson and not punch his lights out... he'd been itching too, and even more so now. "Of course, I want it to be yours, but apart from that, I know it is." He did, something told him it was Paddy's baby. "Paddy, just think about it for a minute..."

"And let myself believe it's mine, you mean? Leave myself open to more hurt? No. I can't do that. You know Carl's not going to care about the child, he has little contact with the two kids he's got. No, he'll just use it to manipulate Chas and to get at me. He'll make sure the baby comes between me and your mum, if he can't have her, no one can. I can't go through all that, not again."

He could understand Paddy's fears, it was just the sort of thing Carl would do. But as much as he sympathized with Paddy, as great as the need was to protect him, there was someone else he felt needed protecting even more. "Then the baby will need you just as much as your own would, maybe even more... like I needed you to be a father to me."

"That was different!" Paddy insisted, pausing briefly as he struggled to get his emotions under control, "I want a child Aaron, one I can help raise, one I can love and nurture from day one. I want the baby to be mine; I desperately want it to be mine, but…"

"But what?" They were beginning to get somewhere, Paddy was starting to admit his real feelings, he couldn't let him clam up on him now.

"I just couldn't bear to find out that it's not."

"But letting me mam go, letting her walk out of your life, how's that going to help? I know you love her and that she loves you, needs you. Paddy, I know you're hurting and that you're trying to protect yourself from more hurt, but this isn't the way. You'll regret this, I know you will."

It was all such a mess. He'd never seen Paddy in such a state, he really wasn't thinking clearly, and neither was his mam. Both were giving up too easily on each other, on what they had together. He wanted to bang their stupid heads together, make them see sense... he could hear his mother on the stairs, "Paddy, please, you can't let her leave."

Aaron was certain if his mother stepped through the front door, she would never come back, that there would be no way back for her and Paddy, whether the baby was his or not. She wouldn't be able to forgive Paddy for letting her down, not when she needed him so desperately.

He watched Chas walk into the kitchen, her head held high, no tears in sight. He knew she was braving it out, that it was all show, that inside she was heartbroken, an emotional mess. She dropped her house keys onto the table directly in front of Paddy, making it clear she wouldn't be needing them again. As she turned around and walked towards the door, Aaron's attention moved to Paddy. He couldn't believe he was just going to sit there and let this happen, the Paddy he knew, the man he loved and respected wouldn't …

Paddy had just lunged to his feet, was now striding after Chas. Again, Aaron found himself holding his breath in anticipation of what was to come. He watched Paddy snatch the case out of his mother's hand, tossing it aside before wrapping his arms around her, telling her she wasn't going anywhere, that he was sorry, that he'd make it right, that he'd make everything alright.

As his mother sobbed into Paddy's chest, Aaron knew it was time for him to leave.

TBC


	50. Chapter 50

Face to Face

Part 50

Aaron had left the Smithy feeling quite positive about things, was certain his mam and Paddy's relationship was back on track, that the baby would only bring them closer now.

As promised, he phoned Jackson to let him know the latest developments, he sounded as relieved and as pleased as he was. That done, he made his way back down the hill to the garage. He'd left the place unattended, he hadn't planned on being gone as long as he was, but the events of the morning had taken precedence. His mind certainly hadn't been on the business and on seeing one of King's Haulage vans parked in front of the forecourt, he remembered that it had been booked in for some work. He was expecting to find Jimmy waiting for him, it was him who tended to deal with the garage, even more so since Carl and his mam had split up. Jimmy, ever the peacemaker, was obviously trying to keep Carl away from him, away from Cain too for that matter. Cain wasn't at all happy at the way Carl had treated his sister even if he was pleased the relationship was over. But it wasn't Jimmy he found waiting for him, it was Carl, and by the look on his face, he was none too pleased at having to wait.

"I was told to have it here for midday, that it would be ready by 2. It better had be, I need it."

Just the sight of Carl rankled Aaron, and the fact he'd given him good reason to complain added to his irritation. He desperately wanted to tell Carl what he could do with his van, and he would have done if he'd thought for one minute the older man would have driven away without another word. But Aaron knew him better than that, knew that it would only lead to a confrontation, one that could easily get out of hand. That would only upset his mam, and she'd been through enough today. Paddy wouldn't like it either and Jackson would be equally unimpressed so instead he swallowed both his pride and his aggravation and said, "It'll be ready for 2 as promised."

By rights that should have been the end of the matter, but as he'd lifted his hand to take the keys dangling from Carl's fingers, they were purposefully moved out of his reach.

"What, no backchat? No lip? You're getting more and more like Dr. Doolittle every day."

Aaron recognised the comment for what it was, a sly dig at both him and Paddy. As far as he was concerned, it was proof that Carl was jealous of the fact Chas was back with Paddy. He was determined not to react the way Carl expected him to, with a show of anger. Still, he couldn't ignore the comment, "Thanks for the compliment." Well it was a compliment, Paddy was a good man, and was well respected. You couldn't really say the same about Carl. He saw something flash in the other man's eyes, put it down to annoyance and knew his words had only served to fire Carl up some more.

"Being compared to that bumbling idiot is a compliment? I suppose it would seem like one to a halfwit."

Aaron tensed at Carl's words, his hands balling into fists. The man was spoiling for a fight, was for whatever reason deliberately goading him into throwing the first punch. It took all his willpower not to. He knew he was better than that, he certainly wanted to be. But where he found he could control his fists, he just couldn't stop his tongue from firing some ammunition in Carl's direction. "What's your problem, Carl? You jealous because Paddy's with Chas and you've ended up with a slag?"

"She'll see sense, just like last time. Paddy can't make her happy... in or out of bed, she needs a real man..."

All reasoning deserted him at that point and he lunged at Carl, his fist landing square on his jaw...

/

Jackson had been concerned for Paddy and Chas' relationship, but even more so for Aaron. He was always so deeply affected by what happened to the two of them. At first his boyfriend had tried to distance himself from the couple, from what he feared would be another train wreck. But, in the end, it was Aaron who'd stepped in and helped them avoid such a disaster. Jackson was proud of him, knew it couldn't have been easy for him, but he'd done it, played mediator and helped get them over a major hurdle. Knowing things were ok back in Emmerdale, he could now concentrate on his work, catch up on things.

He was just starting to make some headway, the extension he was working on starting to take shape, when his phone rang. Seeing 'Mum' illuminated he was tempted to just let it ring, one of her 'quick' phone calls could last for hours, and he didn't have minutes let alone hours to spare right now. There was no way he could ignore it though, if he didn't answer it, she'd think there was something wrong and keep on ringing until he did. He was just going to have to tell her he was busy and that they would catch up later…

Half an hour she'd kept him talking! Not that he'd done much talking, she'd barely stopped to draw breath. She was 'in one', 'off on way' and all he could do was listen to her let off some steam. She'd 'had words' with the woman in the flat below his. He'd been there just over a year and he could count the times he'd seen Lucy on one hand, and then only in passing, just long enough to say a friendly hello. His mother had been there a fraction of the time and this was the second run in she'd had with her. He'd told his mum not to turn her music up so high, anyone would think she was deaf. Of course the neighbours were going to take exception to the noise, especially with the sort of music she played.

He'd heaved a sigh of relief on ending the call, groaning in annoyance when just seconds later his phone started to ring again. He was surprised to see Chas' name on the screen, it wasn't often she called him and because her calls were so infrequent he didn't think he could ignore this one.

Chas sounded both angry and upset, and at first he wasn't quite sure what or who she was talking about and he had to ask "Who's been arrested?" He couldn't believe his ears when she said, "Aaron!"

TBC


	51. Chapter 51

Face to Face

Part 51

Jackson had to admit to being both annoyed and disappointed with Aaron. Ok, so he didn't know the circumstances behind the fight but, no matter what they turned out to be, he was certain they weren't worth Aaron being arrested over. He and Carl had had a fist fight some time back and that had resulted in Chas laying down the law to Carl, the outcome being hostilities had come to an end, he and Aaron had even been on polite speaking terms. Carl's recent affair had infuriated Aaron, but he'd promised all concerned he would avoid a confrontation at all costs. Their paths hadn't crossed at all up until today but it seemed that as soon as they had come face to face, his temper had got the better of him. He could understand Aaron being angry with Carl, he'd hurt his mother emotionally but, wasn't the fact a relationship he didn't like or respect was now over enough for him? Obviously not.

Chas had said both she and Paddy were at the police station where Aaron was now being questioned. She was expecting him to go too, but he wasn't sure he should, not the mood he was in. He loved Aaron but, right now, he was angry with him, he kept asking himself why he'd let that tosspot bring him down to that level. Had he not stopped to think about the consequences of his actions? He can't have done. He already had a conviction for assault, if this went to court he could well go to prison this time. It wouldn't come to that though, would it? He just didn't know, but one thing he did know was that just the idea of that happening scared him.

He carried on with his work, he was behind as it was, he'd had so many delays today, and time wise he really couldn't afford another one. But as the minutes passed by, his anger subsided, and he started to worry about Aaron, he knew he'd be regretting what had happened, would be disappointed in himself. No one knew Aaron better than he did, they had been through so much together, and he knew just how sensitive, how deep, how intense his emotions could be. He would be feeling very alone right now, alone and scared, Aaron needed him there.

/

Aaron stared at the clock on the interview room wall, he'd been at the police station ages now and it didn't look like he'd be leaving anytime soon. The officer questioning him kept disappearing, leaving the room to deal with other things. He got the feeling he was a complication the Hotton Constabulary could well do without, that they had more important things to deal with. He was sure they did have too, but he hadn't asked them to get involved, it was the last thing he'd wanted to happen.

He shook his head as yet another wave of disappointment in himself washed over him. After all he'd promised, he'd got into a fight with Carl! Jimmy had appeared out of nowhere and had hauled him off his brother… but not before some passing motorist, some interfering old biddy had called the police. Jimmy had seemed to accept what he told him, that Carl had been goading him but the two police officers who arrived at the scene had, after speaking to the witness and to Carl, arrested him. He knew the fact that he was still angry and shouting the odds at Carl hadn't helped his case, or the fact he'd ignored all their pleas to calm down. They'd lost patience with him eventually... and then he'd resisted arrest!

What had finally cooled his courage, what had finally drained the fight out of him was the smirk he'd seen on Carl's face as he was being driven away. It had made him feel sick to the stomach knowing he'd made Carl's day!

He hadn't wanted the police to know everything, what he thought was a private family matter. But knowing he needed to be honest, had told them the bare minimum, only what they needed to know. The police could see it hadn't been all one-sided, he had a bloody nose and split lip, too. He really didn't care what the police thought or whether they charged him or not… well he did, of course he did, but he was more worried about Jackson, about his reaction. He knew he'd let him down, and Paddy and his mam ... and Hazel! What was she going to think of him now?

/

On seeing Jackson walk into Hotton police station, Paddy got to his feet to greet him, "He's still being questioned."

"So, what happened?" Chas had been upset and her explanation garbled, maybe Paddy could shine a better light on things.

"Jimmy found Aaron laying into Carl, that's more or less all we know."

"So, Jimmy phoned the police?" That didn't sound like Jimmy, he was fair-minded, knew his brother was often the antagonist, and being well aware of that, he'd purposefully tried to keep him away from Aaron.

"No, some interfering old bat did!" Chas exclaimed. "If she hadn't stuck her nose in, my lad wouldn't be here..."

Jackson listened as Chas gave her take on the matter. She seemed to think such a confrontation was inevitable, that it had always been on the cards and was needed to clear the air, and that once Aaron and Carl had knocked seven bells out of each other, they could move on. But the police getting involved had taken it to another level, Aaron could be in deep shit, and if so then the ill feeling would now linger on, festering away. Jackson hated to admit it but, he could see there was a lot of truth in that.

A strained silence had followed, small talk forsaken as they all lost themselves in their own thoughts. One long half hour later, Aaron stepped out from a side room. On seeing them, he hesitated, his gaze moving sheepishly between the three of them before saying a quiet but heartfelt, "Sorry."

He was obviously expecting a rollicking from each of them, and Jackson supposed they'd all been intending to do just that but, now he was standing there, looking so dejected, so wary of them, well... it just wasn't going to happen. The fact he'd been released with just a caution helped, the relief proving overwhelming.

Once outside, Paddy and Chas had got in their car, giving the two of them some privacy. Aaron immediately launching into another apology.

"Jackson, I'm sorry, I..."

"I know you are, I know how determined you were not to let such a thing happen. But it has and now you really do have to put it behind you, we all do."

"You're not mad at me?"

"I was but not anymore." He could never stay mad at Aaron for long, he loved him too much.

"What's your mum going to say?"

He couldn't help but grin as he remembered his earlier phone conversation with his mother, "She's in a fighting mood herself today!"

"What?"

"She's fallen out with one of my neighbours. Look, don't worry about her, she's not going to hold it against you..."

"Yeah, well, she has forgiven me a lot worse!"

"Aaron, don't... " He knew Aaron was referring to the time he'd punched him. That he'd started to reproach himself for all the wrongs he'd done. "Don't beat yourself up about this, learn from it and put it behind you, please."

"But if they'd pressed charges, if it had gone to court..."

"They didn't and it won't, so stop with the 'ifs'. Come on, it's over with now, so like I said, put it behind you, look ahead and there's plenty to look forward to, isn't there? A baby brother or sister for one thing." He felt certain that would put a smile on Aaron's face... and it did.

/

Jackson had returned to work and Aaron had travelled back to Emmerdale with his mum and Paddy. He'd apologized to them again too, but they were both in the same mind, they both blamed Carl for the fight and again made him promise to ignore anything he might say about them or about anything likely to wind him up.

He really had got away lightly, no charges made against him and no telling offs or tongue lashings. As for Jackson, well he'd not given him the hard time he'd been expecting either, he'd gone all out to lift his spirits. There would definitely not be a next time where Carl was concerned, he really was just a waste of space, his mother had finally realised that and that was all that mattered.

He'd insisted on going back to work and they'd dropped him off there, someone had locked the garage up, the note on the door telling him where to find the keys... Jimmy had them!

After reasoning Carl wouldn't be there, he traipsed up to Jimmy's office, the older man lurching to his feet on seeing him. He was apologetic, saying he knew his brother was both jealous and bitter when it came to Chas and Paddy, that he knew who was to blame for the fight. Because Jimmy wanted to try and prevent any further unpleasantness, he'd sent Carl off on a run to France, and had told him not to come back until he'd sorted his head out. He thanked Jimmy, he knew he had a lot to thank him for, for understanding, for trying to stop things deteriorating further and for giving them a little breathing space, between everything, they needed it.

/

It was well over a week since his fight with Carl, and word was he was back. That one fact altered the atmosphere, nothing was said but Aaron could tell everyone was edgy. His mother in particular was affected, her morning sickness having lasted all day.

The pregnancy was still being kept a secret and would be for another few weeks. A few people had already guessed though, the fact his mam was forever in the loo and only drinking soft drinks when at the Wooly had given the game away to some, namely Charity and Pearl.

They were pleased and excited for her and also a little suspicious... well, both having had kids they knew about such things, and it seemed they'd all thought along the same lines as his mam had done... had wondered if the baby could be Carl's. But a man wouldn't think that way, would he? It wouldn't occur to Carl would it?

Aaron told himself not to dwell on that now, not to let it spoil their evening. They were all at the Woolpack, his mam, Paddy, Jackson and Hazel. They were there celebrating Hazel's new job, she'd that very day secured a part time post at Hotton Comp. They were all pleased for her, especially Jackson, he knew she needed something to keep her occupied, to help burn off some of her energy.

They'd sat at a rear corner table, and as the drinks flowed it had got a bit noisy, their presence unmissable. His mother wasn't drinking but, at last having some relief from the nausea that had plagued her all day, she was feeding off the high spirits and her voice soared above everyone else's. He was standing by the bar when she'd suddenly fallen quiet, as he'd turned around, he'd realised why, Carl and Eve and just walked into the pub.

Even though Eve was draped possessively over Carl, he still had the nerve to look in his mam's direction, his gaze lingering way to long on her. So much for sorting his head out! Aaron told himself to ignore Carl, no matter what he said or did, just like he'd promised everyone he would.

It seemed Eve couldn't ignore his behaviour though and the next thing Aaron knew, she was giving Carl grief, asking him why he was looking at 'that minger'.

He'd hoped his mother hadn't heard her but of course she had and was soon on her feet firing an insult in Eve's direction. For a minute or so, the two women traded insults, the whole pub looking on in stunned silence. But then Paddy was on his feet trying to calm Chas down, which was easier said than done, he and his mam were a lot alike.

Paddy's intervention had broken the spell and suddenly others were getting involved, Charity having a pop at Eve, Diane making it clear she would stand for no trouble... then suddenly his mam went quiet, and with one hand clamped over her mouth made a dash for the 'Ladies', Charity fast on her heels.

Eve then made some comment about her drinking too much, about her being some old lush, he'd opened his mouth to tell her to shut up but then Paddy's voice, filled with indignation, had echoed around the room, "She's not drunk, she's pregnant!"

Aaron immediately looked at Carl, he couldn't help himself, he wanted to see his reaction. At first, Carl looked shocked, then amused like he couldn't believe it, but then he'd turned serious, his gaze moving to him. "So who's the father? Me... or that clown over there?"

TBC


	52. Chapter 52

Face to Face

Part 52

'Please', Aaron prayed silently to himself, 'please don't let her have the baby yet ... not til we get to the hospital.' Outwardly he was calm, at least that's how he hoped he appeared because in truth, his insides were churning and his heart was racing, he was so very scared of what might happen. Chas was in labour and he was driving her to the hospital... him of all people! He couldn't believe it; he kept hoping it was a dream, one he would soon wake from or even for it to turn into yet another false alarm. There had been several of those this last week. The last one had seen Paddy take Chas to hospital at two o'clock in the morning, only to return with bump intact in time for breakfast.

And while his thoughts were on Paddy... just where the hell was he? It should be him in the driving seat, he'd know what to say to reassure his mother cos he sure didn't. Chas was either groaning in pain or cursing Paddy for not being there when she needed him. Aaron knew she didn't mean a word of what she said, that she too was scared she wouldn't make it to the hospital in time.

"Try phoning Paddy again." Aaron encouraged when his mother seemed free of pain, he hoped that would keep her mind occupied for a few minutes at least.

"If he doesn't answer this time I'm going to..."

Aaron cringed as he heard his mother's plans for her partner, her predicament really seemed to have fuelled her imagination! Aaron's heart sank as it became clear the call had proved unsuccessful yet again. Hopefully Pearl had had more success reaching Paddy, if not then it seemed he would miss the birth of his son. 'Son!' Aaron had been secretly hoping for the baby to be a girl, he knew it was unbelievably selfish of him, wrong even but Paddy thought of him as his son, and he didn't want that to change in any way, and he feared it might once the baby arrived. He kept telling himself Paddy wasn't anything like his dad, that Paddy wouldn't turn his back on him like he had done. Still there were times when the old insecurities would plague him, make him doubt what he thought he knew. He hadn't let on to them of course, when a scan had confirmed the baby was a boy he'd made sure he showed all the right emotions, not that he was pretending, he'd meant what he'd said he just... well he just felt a little scared, was uncertain of his place in the Kirk household.

"Aaron! I...I think I need to push!"

Chas' panic filled words shocked Aaron out of his reverie, "Push!" He might not be a midwife but he'd seen enough on the telly to know what that meant, his heart began to thunder painfully in his chest, "No, no you cant" They were on a quiet country road just a few minutes from the outskirts of Hotton where the hospital was situated, his mam was just going to have to wait, no way was he delivering the baby! He tried to quash the horrifying thought but once in his head it swiftly took hold, 'I wouldn't be able to look her in the face ever again! Worse still what if something went wrong, what if I did something wrong and...' Again Aaron found himself jolted from his thoughts by his mothers shrill voice.

"Stop the car!"

Aaron's first thought was to slam on the brakes put panicked himself now he instead pressed down on the accelerator, "Just concentrate on your breathing we'll be there in a minute... phone the hospital, tell them you're on your way and that the baby's coming." That seemed like a good idea, hopefully they'd be waiting for her by the door. Glancing quickly at his mother Aaron could see she was tapping out a number on her phone, crisis averted for now at least he turned his attention to the road ahead, he was moving into the town traffic and to his great relief the hospital was now in sight, 'Please, just five minutes more.' That's all he needed, just five more minutes then his mam would be in the safe hands of a midwife.

Turning into the hospital's main entrance Aaron glanced again at his mother, she was flushed and perspiring, he hated seeing her in pain and so distressed, he felt so helpless so bloody useless. He didn't think words were much use at times like this but they were all he had, "We're almost there mam, it'll be ok..." 'Paddy!' Aaron had just spotted the father-to-be at the Maternity Suit's entrance, Pearl must have managed to get hold of him, "Mam, look, Paddy's here already, see I told you everything would be ok and it will be I promise." He was suddenly very sure of that.

/

With his mam safely on the Labour Ward, Aaron's first thought was to phone Jackson, after filling him in on the latest developments his boyfriend had said "You did good." Had he? All he'd done was drive his mother to hospital, he hadn't wanted to, had tried to worm his way out of taking her, but Paddy was out on a farm visit, one that just happened to be in the back of beyond. Pearl's car was up on a ramp at the garage, he'd been working on it when his mother had rang to tell him the baby was on its way. Not liking the idea of being alone with a woman in labour he'd suggested he phone round all their family and friends, he knew any one of the women would have been more than happy to take her, but his mother had insisted he drive her and reluctantly he'd had to agree. If he'd known things would progress so quickly he'd have just phoned an ambulance!

"Have you decided on a name yet? Times finally run out!"

Aaron could hear Jackson laughing, but he didn't find it funny. With all the stress of the last hour he'd forgotten that he was responsible for choosing the baby's name. Chas had wanted to carry on the Dingle tradition of giving the baby a biblical nane and Paddy had been happy to go along with that. He though hadn't been at all happy with any of their suggestions, he didn't want the kid teased about his name as he grew up and felt sure names such as Boaz or Ebenezer would ensure just that. In the end his mam and Paddy had got fed up of him turning his nose up at their ideas and had one day shocked him by telling him he now had the honour of naming the baby. Thankfully there were a few he actually liked, and he'd drawn up a short list, still he hadn't decided on one in particular... so what was it to be?

"Aaron! Are you there?"

He'd got lost in his thoughts again, "Yeah sorry, you got me thinking about names. Jackson what am I going to do I can't decide."

"Well give me half an hour to finish off here and I'll come help you. See you soon babe."

Jackson had ended the call before he'd had chance to reply, obviously eager to get here, that was because his boyfriend knew he needed him and not just to help choose the name. Jackson had picked up on his fears about Paddy, had gone all out to reassure him but knew he just couldn't shrug them off completely. Slipping his phone back into his overall pocket he pulled out the piece of paper he had tucked in there, it was his shortlist of names. Staring at it he mulled over each one in turn, he liked Asher, thanks to the singer it had a modern feel. He liked James too, it was one of those names that Pearl had called timeless, seemingly it had been popular for century's. He might well have picked that if the name wasn't shared by Carl King's brother. Carl! He'd hated the man with a passion once, he could enrage him in the blink of an eye. Now he felt nothing, Carl had become a nonentity since accepting the baby wasn't his. It had been him that had convinced Carl of that fact, that day in the pub, when he'd asked who the father was, he'd looked Carl straight in the eye and said " Paddy. Do you honestly think I would have anything to do with her if the baby was yours!" Carl had eyed him coldly before stalking from the pub, he knew he'd lost Chas for good this time.

"Aaron! Come on, come meet your brother."

It was Paddy's voice that snapped him out of his thoughts this time, he looked towards the doorway to where the older man was standing, he looked so happy, his face beaming with joy, Aaron could only smile back as he got to his feet and hurried over to join him.

According to Paddy's excited chatter his mam needed stitches! Urgh! Now that was just way too much information. Paddy should have stopped at the weight of the baby and the exact time of birth, that's all he'd needed to know, that and that mother and baby were doing well of course. While his mam was being attended to, she'd sent Paddy to get him, they wanted him to be the first to see the new arrival.

Curtains were drawn around his mother's bed and Paddy led him past that over to where the baby was, before he knew it Paddy had placed the little boy in his arms. He was a chubby little thing, and he didn't have much hair... but he was beautiful and he reminded him very much of Paddy... he was most definitely Paddy's son. Aaron suddenly felt the sting of tears and furiously blinked them away, with emotion threatening to overwhelm him he forced out, "You've got a son now Paddy."

"I've got two sons now." Paddy said patting Aaron's arm proudly.

Aaron could only nod, he'd so needed to hear that. A stray tear trickled down his face but he didn't care, he was happy and content, finally all was right in his world.

"Well is he Enoch or Hosea or..." Paddy asked eager for his baby son to have a name.

"No he's..." Suddenly settling on the name that was at the very top of his list Aaron said proudly, "Ethan."

End


End file.
